Do you judge/ pity converts to Islam?

[Candyapplesandhearts]

Firstly I’m a convert to Islam. White European, so more than likely if you saw me you’d assume I was a convert, plus my name would definitely give the game away.

i live in a metropolitan area where converts are yes rare but not too too share whereby it’s shocking.

well keeping this in mind, I bought a block of sessions for a beauty treatment, and the aesthetician was visibly taken back by me firstly, fine it happens because I wasn’t what she was expecting, with my name and I show up in a headscarf.

but the questions, not only were they pretty inappropriate but also steeped in judgment. I was shocked. I could tell that she wasn’t necessarily being malicious or even hateful, but she clearly had a very pre conceived notion about my motivations and my choices. Ie several questions about my husband and how he made me convert, or as she said ‘become Islamic’, lots on clothing and how she often feels sorry for a lot of Muslim women.

truthfully MN, is this a thing? Deep down are these thoughts people have but maybe don’t voice.

in general even at work I do have questions asked but they are more diplomatically phrased- so now I’m wondering am I actually being judged/ pitied?

But there is though, there’s plenty of violence happening now because of it, it’s all over the news, we elected Mps over it. There’s also Christians who picket gay weddings, wave around guns and have shot up mosques. Trump conventions and the westboro Baptist church for instance

@Opalfleur2026 that's because it's one of their "rules". I mean look at the right to abortion... that makes many Christians so angry they become murderous.

For devout Christians taking God's name in vain is not allowed and they can get very pissy and preachy about it. Kids can get consequences in practicing Christian schools for saying "Oh my God!" Or "For God's sake!".

Plenty of examples, depending on location or community, and frankly whim.

They aren’t, men aren’t free to wear whatever they want according to the sharia.

they can’t wear anything tight, or anything that exposes the navel to the knee (so they can’t go shirtless at the beach), can’t wear trousers longer than their ankles, can’t wear red, silk or gold. Can’t trim their beard but must their moustache

How is the above not daft? How does one decide to convert to a belief system that has such silly rules? Not just abiding by it because you were born to it and all your family are conditioned to accept it but making the choice to convert. I'm no fan of any religion, other faiths have equally absurd rules, but how does an intelligent person arrive at the conclusion that an all powerful god would decide men should definitely not trim their beards, or wear trousers longer than their ankles. An all-creating, cosmic god cares about the length of trousers? Give over!

Sometimes flippant is the best way to deal with that sort of thing, tbh. No point giving too much headspace to the views of people who are unlikely to change their views of you, when there are so many other things to worry about!

But those are American examples.

People think of Christianity as C of E in the UK, Judaism as the religion of 'Dave' from school (nice guy who doesn't eat pork and attends synagogue twice a year on the high holy days) but bizarrely associate islam with 9/11 terrorists and women who wear the niqab and charlie hebdo protests

What happens in usa/israel which is where the zealots from those two abrahamic religions predominantly reside isn't on the radar of most brits. The zealots in Israel even opposed a metro line going through their city cos of shabbat!

But why don't they have to cover heads,arms, faces etc. I just don't understand the difference ...and I see plenty of men walking with very tight t shirts and their accompanying wives/females covered. I'd just like to understand the reasons for the differences.

That's ridiculous unless the op were to say she was forced into it....which she clearly doesn't say.

Where do you think her own money came from and how do you think she had co workers that were reported to HR if she didn't work?

That's why I didn't understand the 'husband has to earn enough for them all'......

I don't really care, no.

As an atheist I do find it bizarre that people seriously think there is a God but it's up to them what they choose to believe. It's not my business.

Well all I can say to you, OP, is that if you've experienced Saudi, weren't a Muslim, and have now chosen to become one you must be really keen. So fair play to you, and I hope that you never become prime minister.

er why would you say you hope I never become PM? You don’t know my politics in the slightest!

Islamically it is the husband or the males of the family who must financially provide for their wives and families. Women can work, but their money is their own, she can pay for household things if she wants to but her husband cannot demand she does it, and if she does it’s considered an act of charity

If going with a conservative interpretation of what 'being modest' should look like, guys shouldn't be wearing tight t-shirts either. It could be that they have different interpretations of some religious guidance/texts, it could be they practise their faith to different extents (eg just like someone might be Christian but not go to church every Sunday, someone can be Muslim but not follow every conservative practice), it could be they have different tastes in clothing, it could be they're controlling what their wife/girlfriend/relative wears and does (in which case, they're a d*ck), it could be something else entirely.

Many Muslims would be quite difficult to pick out from a culturally diverse crowd. Among my female Muslim friends, there's a huge range of personal choices about how we look and how we dress, from hijabs and abayas to band t-shirts and ripped jeans to floaty dresses and heels. We aren't one homogeneous group in terms of appearance, nor in terms of practice.

You’re allowed to think it’s silly, that’s ok. I don’t judge you for it.

i don’t really understand the male dress code, admittedly as it doesn’t impact me, I’ve not looked into it

Thank you, you responded more eloquently than I could.
I do find it insulting but it seems there is a hierarchy of sorts when it comes to this discussion.

Some men are cocklodgers. They contribute nothing and expect everything. In Islam, that's not ok. There is guidance that, if a man wants to have a marriage and a family, then he needs to be contributing to that.

Women encounter a lot of challenges, career-wise, when having children - many of us (women, not just Muslim women) will have experienced pregnancy-related discrimination, delayed career progression, even having to give up work altogether. Guidance about how a man should, as a minimum, contribute financially, should encourage some of the potential cocklodgers to pull some of their own weight; some of them might not care that much about what their wives/partners/girlfriends are going through but would care that others might judge them for not following that guidance.

No you don’t.

ive not stated any support of any backwards culture nor defended any.

my reasons as to why aren’t the purpose of the thread. I did do an ama ages ago, so do feel free to read that.

my politics? You know nothing about them? But I’m a lefty, the green manifesto from this GE was the one that spoke to me more

There are extremes of all religions and lots of acts of violence committed in the names of religion. Learning about beliefs is a better way to understanding and peace

Because it is part of his commitment in his religion to care and provide for his wife

Would you say the same thing to victoria starmer. She is jewish and in theory has the same 'religion' as Lev Tahor (who is basically a cult leader who would give the taliban a run for their money, he made women wear stuff that looked like burqas). Would you say the same thing to Andrew Percy, a tory MP who converted to Judaism.

Be honest.

On the contrary, I don't think you got it at all.

No sausage, your views are clear don’t worry

Jordan you say? Very nice. Not average.