I am going to be the companion from hell on this holiday

[Plasticfoot]

Stop me!

I'm a fairly experienced mountain walker, something I did a lot with DH until he died. I haven't been since.

This summer, a group of my fittest friends have decided to climb a big one. They're fit, it's well within their capabilities, but I don't think they realise quite how hard it will be and they don't know mountains.

I'm really struggling to convince them about the kit they'll need, or the planning the route needs, the fact that the weather (visibility) matters or that navigation isnt just a matter of following the path. Some are even talking about taking beer up with them.

I've done this mountain a couple of times before, a tough challenge but straightforward in good weather. People die on it though and I've turned back when the weather turned, as it does in the mountains.

I can already feel I'm getting on people's nerves. I know I do worry, but there are reasons for that.

Currently I'm trying to tell them we can't fix a certain day for the climb, we'll need to look at the weather forecast closer to the time and be ready to go next day, if it looks OK, which seems normal to me and will make for a safer, more enjoyable trip. No one's getting it. I'm getting frustrated and they think I'm being bossy and overdramatic.

I can’t tell if you’re being reasonable or not without knowing which mountain it is?! (I’m assuming it’s a Scottish one). Also which season?

Rather than worrying about this group, I’d be tempted to find an alternative trip/group of people to go walking with. Look for some companions you do feel comfortable with. It’s not worth taking risks in the mountains, IMO.

@RomanticOutlaws
I don't know how many others have commented on this as, apologies, I've not RTFT, but I think the fact this is the first time you've been up this particular mountain without your DH might be having more of an emotional impact than you're acknowledging?

If you've laid out the difficulties and they're still happy to continue then you're going to irritate them by continually reiterating the same points. I wonder if your anxiety is driven by your grief process?

I'm glad you have said this because it did cross my mind but you have articulated better than I could have done.
As I said before most reasonably fit people can manage uk mountains in good conditions.
I think once they start the ascent the challenge will sink in.

Gosh, the dismissive tone of some on here explains why so many people die on British mountains every year. Good luck with whatever you decide OP, you are certainly not being unreasonable.

People get rescued off Ben Nevis all the time. Several people die on the mountain every year.

Have you walked it? Unless going up in terrible weather whilst going off track there's not any way of getting into danger. Its a simple clear path.

Yes I have. If the weather is fine and stays fine you will be okay. But it is Scotland. People go up in fog, or the weather changes once they are up.

Several people die on the mountain every year.
One died last year and 3 in 2019 and 3 in 2018.
Most die in avalanches. The OP won't be going up in avalanche conditions, if it was Ben Ben Nevis, which I don't think it is anyway.

Clear path yes but not sign posted, very easy to walk off the top down into the wrong valley to where your car/ bus stop is

I hope you can get to a place where you can all agree to respect your knowledge of the preparations and precautions needed, so your trip can go ahead and be the great time it sounds like it should be.

I'm reminded of the disagreements we had when I was trying to do DofE at school. We had a new teacher running it who had loads of UK experience. What she didn't have was Australian experience having only been there about a year. My parents had decades of hiking experience and I'd been brought up bushwalking. My mother was UK born so understood some of the differences. One particular issue that came up was the insistance that we could use water purifying tablets - my parents just said "no way" and I carried more water accordingly (hence the teacher also being unhappy with the weight of my pack). There were other problems and I didn't go beyond bronze in the end. The next year we were unpopular for contacting the school when a DofE walk was apparently still going ahead despite the National Park they were going to being closed due to bushfire risk.

No! They clearly haven't accepted the need to take enough equipment to avoid hypothermia if they have to spend several hours in heavy rain at temperatures close to freezing with an injured person, and the discipline to never get separated and to unconditionally accept a decision from anyone to turn back if necessary, and all do it together. If they had, she wouldn't need to repeat it.

Oh your last paragraph is what makes me think you should pull out. On your first trip up a mountain without your husband, you don’t need this stress.

If its the Cuillins in Skye then yes you need serious planning and kit. They are treacherous unless you know what you are doing and the weather conditions can change in a hearbeat. Have a look at Glencoe Mountian Rescue and Skye Rescue pages on FB. People are rescued every week and sadly fatalities are regular. A father and his 12 year old son recently fell to their deaths near Glencoe .
The ridges in both Glencoe and Skye are very dangerous. Have done them both when younger and fitter and my heart was in my mouth when my son and friends did Skye last year.

"Terrible weather" can happen unexpectedly half way up.

Just a thought, are there any local guides that you could use to take you on the climb? That way might help people realise that it’s not just something where they can get cheap decathlon shoes and a cereal bar and it’ll all be fine and then you have the reassurance that if it’s not advisable to go due to weather the guide has the authority/credibility to be listened to without you worrying about how the others will listen to you.

Even with bad weather it's not an issue on the regular route. It's a straightforward and fairly short walk.

Have they not heard about the recent tragedy at Glencoe? That was in May. Hardly winter conditions. Or any of the other many bloody tragedies when people are ill prepared and attempt big mountains?

Would you like me to try and find a Mountain Rescue person to tell them what a bunch of fuckwits they're being?

If I was you I would not go, OP. Absolutely do not put yourself at risk. Find some people who are sensible about mountains and go with them. I'm sorry for the loss of your DH, too.

I think I would be reassured by the fact that another member of the party knows what he is doing and you won’t be the only one.

Why do you still want to go?

It sounds like a nightmare.

Can you back out or have you spent non-refundable money?

That’s some of the people we train with!

After reading this thread I'm never going up a mountain again. I have never been that fond of it as it is, as someone who gets vertigo on stairs regularly.

This is exactly the kind of attitude that costs people their lives. It also puts many others at risk having to go out and rescue them. A hill.in the UK can be deadly if you aren't prepared.

Stupid comment of the day goes to you. Do you never watch the new Plenty of people die on UK mountains and hills every year.

I get it OP. Equally though, I've seen groups on a stag do, complete with boxes of beer and matching awful shirts, bounce up a mountain whilst myself and my party had all the kit 🤣

You've done all you can to warn them, either pull out now if you feel naggy or uncomfortable, or go along and hope for the best.

Back out.

Leave them to it.

Hopefully their learning curve won't be too steep to bear.

And that myth (that people only die on mountains abroad) is why the number of deaths is as high as it is.

People assume British mountains aren’t that dangerous. Some don’t live to regret it.