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Original poster

I am going to be the companion from hell on this holiday

277 replies

Plasticfoot · 24/07/2024 11:44

Stop me!

I'm a fairly experienced mountain walker, something I did a lot with DH until he died. I haven't been since.

This summer, a group of my fittest friends have decided to climb a big one. They're fit, it's well within their capabilities, but I don't think they realise quite how hard it will be and they don't know mountains.

I'm really struggling to convince them about the kit they'll need, or the planning the route needs, the fact that the weather (visibility) matters or that navigation isnt just a matter of following the path. Some are even talking about taking beer up with them.

I've done this mountain a couple of times before, a tough challenge but straightforward in good weather. People die on it though and I've turned back when the weather turned, as it does in the mountains.

I can already feel I'm getting on people's nerves. I know I do worry, but there are reasons for that.

Currently I'm trying to tell them we can't fix a certain day for the climb, we'll need to look at the weather forecast closer to the time and be ready to go next day, if it looks OK, which seems normal to me and will make for a safer, more enjoyable trip. No one's getting it. I'm getting frustrated and they think I'm being bossy and overdramatic.

OP posts:
namechanged221 · 25/07/2024 18:33

If it's a high mountain in Scotland and NOT Ben Bevis then they really don't get it.

Those are some of the remotest places in the uk.

Sidebeforeself · 25/07/2024 18:36

@NiceCutRoundDomeDormice Can you please explain? I was asking where is was going but in a jokey way. I’m truly baffled why it is “completely inappropriate”?

Askingforafriendtoday · 25/07/2024 19:38

Sirzy · 24/07/2024 11:46

I think if they won’t listen and learn from your sensible advice based on experience then I would be tempted to say to them “sorry I don’t feel right going when we aren’t planning for all outcomes” and back out of the trip.

This, it sounds terrifying and foolhardy because of their attitude

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JohnTheRevelator · 25/07/2024 20:03

They are the ones with the problem,not you!

beentheresolong · 25/07/2024 20:24

Watching the TV series on Lake District Mountain Rescue could be a good education? That said, I have never yet managed to get one of my (adult) DC to acknowledge maps, gloves, waterproofing etc. Sympathies - caution to some seems to make it a good walk spoiled.

Meandspottydogs · 25/07/2024 20:36

I was in the lake district once hill walking, mountain rescue were called to a party of schoolchildren with their badly prepared teachers , they were all wearing inadequate footwear, not enough water, or clothing for all conditions, and that's just hills, not mountains.

I'd not go, it will be hard when there to get through to them unless of course they end up with problems.

Batteredcodmushypeasandafalafal · 25/07/2024 20:54

My uncle did mountain rescues, he brought down over 200 dead bodies from UK mountains. People don't get the risks, sorry they're not listening to you op, it's frightening how blasé people can be.

Shallana · 25/07/2024 21:10

Honestly you do sound as though you are being a bit overzealous OP! I have been hiking all over the Lakes and Snowdonia, every hike I see fell runners wearing nothing but running gear. Yes, I would always recommend hiking boots and waterproofs but as long as they have ankle support and a jacket that will keep them dry, and a decent amount of water, that is sufficient.

I'm half way through the Wainwrights and have yet to go on a hike where I haven't come across other walkers.

I've never learnt to navigate with a map & compass - I use an OS app on my phone that connects to GPS and carry a powerbank. It's been a godsend quite a few times when the mist has come down and I haven't been able to see my hand in front of my face.

In terms of fitness, if they can run marathons, they can manage a hilly walk. I've plenty of friends who will come out on a hike only once or twice a year and never have any problems.

FranticHare · 25/07/2024 21:27

Shallana · 25/07/2024 21:10

Honestly you do sound as though you are being a bit overzealous OP! I have been hiking all over the Lakes and Snowdonia, every hike I see fell runners wearing nothing but running gear. Yes, I would always recommend hiking boots and waterproofs but as long as they have ankle support and a jacket that will keep them dry, and a decent amount of water, that is sufficient.

I'm half way through the Wainwrights and have yet to go on a hike where I haven't come across other walkers.

I've never learnt to navigate with a map & compass - I use an OS app on my phone that connects to GPS and carry a powerbank. It's been a godsend quite a few times when the mist has come down and I haven't been able to see my hand in front of my face.

In terms of fitness, if they can run marathons, they can manage a hilly walk. I've plenty of friends who will come out on a hike only once or twice a year and never have any problems.

May your luck never run out.

DuesToTheDirt · 25/07/2024 22:02

@Shallana, yes they would probably be fine without taking proper precautions. But if not, they could die - or put other people's lives at risk. You have been hiking all over the Lakes and Snowdonia, yet you dismiss these concerns?

RampantIvy · 25/07/2024 22:12

Shallana · 25/07/2024 21:10

Honestly you do sound as though you are being a bit overzealous OP! I have been hiking all over the Lakes and Snowdonia, every hike I see fell runners wearing nothing but running gear. Yes, I would always recommend hiking boots and waterproofs but as long as they have ankle support and a jacket that will keep them dry, and a decent amount of water, that is sufficient.

I'm half way through the Wainwrights and have yet to go on a hike where I haven't come across other walkers.

I've never learnt to navigate with a map & compass - I use an OS app on my phone that connects to GPS and carry a powerbank. It's been a godsend quite a few times when the mist has come down and I haven't been able to see my hand in front of my face.

In terms of fitness, if they can run marathons, they can manage a hilly walk. I've plenty of friends who will come out on a hike only once or twice a year and never have any problems.

Another "It's never happened to me" post therefore it can't happen to anyone else Hmm

What an arrogant, smug post.

It's also foolhardy to assume that you will always get a GPS signal. Not being able to use a map or compass is not something I would want to boast about either.

I live on the edge of the Pennines. These are just hills, not mountains. However, we have Woodhead Mountain Rescue, and they get called out plenty of times.

bellocchild · 25/07/2024 22:24

You could try a firm group email to them all, spelling out the necessary prep for this expedition, and the dangers they face if they don't take it seriously. If you can cc someone in the target area warning them of an unprepared group, so much the better.

BlueFlowers5 · 25/07/2024 22:40

Pen y fan?

It must turn out to be a dour evening clinging onto the side of a mountain, sheltering and injured friend.

MannyTeddy · 26/07/2024 09:13

Make sure to have 'what3words' on them and you in case of difficulty. It can help rescuers find you. 🥰🥰

chubbychopsticks · 26/07/2024 09:30

I think I’d be unavailable for this climb…but definitely join them on the next.

notacooldad · 26/07/2024 10:10

I honestly think the group know how to behave in the mountains but are fed up with being told what to do.
The op says she already feels like she is getting on their nerves which presumes she has told them many times what to do so they have switched off.

To be honest I do the same when someone keeps telling me something over again.
Op said she is a worrier and we don't know how many times she has repeated herself.
However if she isn't comfortable with going with the group she can skip it.

I know op posted about them taking beer and seemed concerned. We took wine up when we ww were on our ML Training and had a midnight drink on our wild camp. Thus was with respected and well known( in the industry) ML leaders. No one was getting pissed or anything and u doubt thus group will as well.

pollymere · 26/07/2024 10:11

This reminds me of Adrian Mole who had to watch his mother climb a mountain without the proper equipment etc and hope she survived. I don't always wear walking shoes or take water on a hike. It's not the smartest but I survive. They are making things difficult for themselves but the likelihood is that they will survive. You're trying to make things as easy as possible for them but if they're not interested in what you have to say there is not much you can do. You will be teased for being over-prepared or concerned and 95% of the time they are probably right - it's just you know that the 5% happens and can be deadly. I guess you just have to hope nothing does.

notacooldad · 26/07/2024 10:47

Make sure to have 'what3words' on them and you in case of difficulty. It can help rescuers find you. 🥰🥰
Whst3words is great in urban settings but not recommended in the wild.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 26/07/2024 13:12

@notacooldad You couldn't know that, unless you knew them yourself.

OP the sensible advice was the last one, to pull out.

Tarkan · 26/07/2024 13:18

ArabellaScott · 26/07/2024 11:13

That's so sad. I worried that would be the outcome but you always hope someone will just be lost or sheltering and found safe still. Sad

notacooldad · 26/07/2024 13:37

You couldn't know that, unless you knew them yourself

That is true, but have you never been with someone that always knows best and assumes you don't know anything and goes on and on about how things should be done.
The op has said they are at eye rolling stage which means they've heard it all before.

Most people arent stupid and onow how to take reasonable precautions. They are already fit outdoor people and there's two people with hill expierence.
Personally I'd go but I'd be comfortable saying no on the day if conditions weren't great.

VeryHappyBunny · 26/07/2024 14:39

Michael Mosley just went for a walk. Not hill climbing or mountaineering, just a walk and not that far from safety. If you take the right precautions you are better off but bad things can happened to even the best prepared.

There is a saying in Manchester that if you can't see the Pennines it's raining and if you can see them it is about to rain. Never underestimate the vagaries of the British weather. People die on the streets from hypothermia when they get wet and can't get dry and warm again, so at a few hundred feet, never mind a few thousand, you would be struggling.

Lyraloo · 28/07/2024 08:43

I don’t understand why you’re being so weird about naming the place you’re going! Bit odd, why not just say and then anyone that knows it well can also give you constructive advice?

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