I am going to be the companion from hell on this holiday

[Plasticfoot]

Stop me!

I'm a fairly experienced mountain walker, something I did a lot with DH until he died. I haven't been since.

This summer, a group of my fittest friends have decided to climb a big one. They're fit, it's well within their capabilities, but I don't think they realise quite how hard it will be and they don't know mountains.

I'm really struggling to convince them about the kit they'll need, or the planning the route needs, the fact that the weather (visibility) matters or that navigation isnt just a matter of following the path. Some are even talking about taking beer up with them.

I've done this mountain a couple of times before, a tough challenge but straightforward in good weather. People die on it though and I've turned back when the weather turned, as it does in the mountains.

I can already feel I'm getting on people's nerves. I know I do worry, but there are reasons for that.

Currently I'm trying to tell them we can't fix a certain day for the climb, we'll need to look at the weather forecast closer to the time and be ready to go next day, if it looks OK, which seems normal to me and will make for a safer, more enjoyable trip. No one's getting it. I'm getting frustrated and they think I'm being bossy and overdramatic.

Op - there is a simple solution - don’t go.

I agree @LuckyOnes the more experienced one was at fault here. She should have warned her friend.
Of course people use 'walk' to mean different things, but I always thought it something relatively easy on flat land. I could do a 2 hour work in an urban area, or along fields, easy.
A hike/trek is definitely something more challenging.
A quick Google shows similar distinctions.

There's no reason why you can't plan a date and then look at conditions closer the time. I think most people would need to have something pencilled in as a lot of people can't just drop things and be ready to go on a hike the next day
You talk about navigation. Are you a competent map reader? You already know the route. You dont need every member of the group to be able to read a map.
As long as it is clear that it is a walk with friends and everyone is doing it at their own risk their is no responsibility for others.

The majority of fit,active people can manage most of the uks popular mountains in good weather conditions. It sounds like your group would be OK.

The worrying thing to me is kit.
However I always have a first aid kit, extra layers emergency shelter, competed, water, extra snacks, spare map and compass etc.
I think the best you can do is make sure you are kitted up right and be prepared to turn back if the conditions break. It's that or don't go.
I have been known to have a celebration drink of wine on a peak. It would be irresponsible to sit and get hammered though.

I'm in Scotland, started hillwalking when I was 15, so several decades ago. I think that even in the summer, people who are not used to it dont realise how quickly conditions can change, and how different conditions can be at height. We had lying snow at high level last month.

Don't go, it's too much of a risk to your personal safety and anxiety levels. Sit this one out, and look forward to hearing the tales when they return.

Don’t go! You feel responsible for them as you’re the most experienced person and they’re not listening to your advice. They’re causing you a load of stress and you’re not even there yet. You’ve done enough of this to know that having the right kit and respecting the weather are major safety issues. They’ve failed before they’ve started.

Its not the conditions that are the problem; the group is just a collection of people that can't work as a team. It would only take one person having an accident for everyone to assume they know best and start arguing.

Actually I don't think that would happen, they would look to me and the other man with some experience in that situation.

They're a lovely easy going bunch to travel with normally, and they humour me and my "organising" because it saves them doing it. The organising part has just never been so important before and I can usually be much more go with the flow, listen/don't listen

You shouldn’t go. You’re too anxious and you’re going to spoil it for them. The likelihood is they’ll be absolutely fine. You’re not scaling the Himalayas. They are going up a hill in the U.K.

An experienced walker here. I would drop out. If they are not prepared to hear the risks now, chances are they would fail to understand or spot the risks when you are on the mountain. More of them, and only one of you, they could easily override your decision of going back down if the conditions make that necessary, leaving you in a dangerous position as well as them.

That they don't even get that you need to flexible with the day you go up is a worry. And I'm guessing they won't want to carry all the additional equipment necessary (clothes to stay warm, clothes to stay dry, additional water, food, emergency rations, first aid, shelter, navigational stuff etc).

I'll only walk with certain people. People I know who a) will go same pace and b) are prepared to be prepared and understand the risks.

And that is why people call out mountain rescue at best, or die at worst.

Yes, this is one thing that bothers me. If I decide I want to turn back and they don't, that leaves me on the mountain on my own. I know people do, but I wouldn't

Exactly. Hundreds get into trouble and a few die on UK hills every year. It's not a remote risk.

This. Safety is paramount here and let's face it, if it's in the UK, Mountain Rescue Volunteers are going to be the poor saps carrying their collective backsides to safety.

The sensible man has just mentioned the Mountian Resuce documentary referred to up thread.

Oh. I’ve been thete

we climbed a well known mountain and one of the girls we went to have really inappropriate clothes on.

she ended up getting hypothermia and being air lifted off the mountain.

If they continue to show no capacity to understand or appreciate the need for risk-assessing and need for the correct kit I wouldn't go on a potentially difficult mountain walk with them.

I don't know how many others have commented on this as, apologies, I've not RTFT, but I think the fact this is the first time you've been up this particular mountain without your DH might be having more of an emotional impact than you're acknowledging?

If you've laid out the difficulties and they're still happy to continue then you're going to irritate them by continually reiterating the same points. I wonder if your anxiety is driven by your grief process?

Ha. There was an ultramarathon runner on one the harder mountains we climbed and she couldn’t do it. Our guide said it’s common because she was used to running on relatively flat ground

but this is steep. You need to train doing stair masters etc.

I'm torn OP. You are obviously an expert and mean nothing but good, but you are coming across as over-bearing and a bit zealous about it. I'm not saying it's not for good reason, but it can still be irritating. They will roll their eyes and tell you they've read the article but they probably won't. They aren't going to listen to you. I think you either need to accept that or you shouldn't go. For what it's worth, I think you're right and they're wrong, but it doesn't matter because you are going to be anxious and miserable and they are going to just get on with it. Also, I don't know which mountain you mean, and don't have much experience, but it seems moronic to organise a first hike to a place such as you describe, rather than one of the more well-worn peaks. It was never going to be a sensible trip, but that's not on you.

I guess you have to ask yourself whether you trust these people to be able to look after you if something happens. It sounds like you don't and they are unprepared. If it's just a walk up a tourist path then they will be fine with stamina but if it's a proper mountaineering route I wouldn't take them. I would insist that everyone wears proper walking boots, has appropriate clothing and can read a map. Think to yourself how embarrassed you'll be if you have to call out mountain rescue, the shame!

Ben nevis is very straight forward and doesn't take long, this is presumably abroad given the people dying on it comments.

People die on Ben Nevis all the time....

I’m in search and rescue. However I have done mountain rescue

trust me. Lots of things happen on mountains. Fog. Cold. Being lost. Falling down ravines in pitch black.

people go onto a mountain. Get lost. Lose signal. No torch. Falls down ravine and boom. You’re also talking fit ish people. What about people with dementia who end up high above mountains?)? It happens

people go missing daily. We’re one of the busiest search and rescue area in the whole of the uk.

we’re out a good few times a week. We cannot deploy without the police. 👮‍♂️

I agree with this, I think.