Would you let your 10 and 13 year old on London to Leeds train alone?

[Secondtonaan]

Dds 10 (nearly 11!) and 13 are staying with family in London for a couple of days in the summer hols.

We live in Leeds and an option is them getting the train from Kings X together if my mum sees them on the train at the station and I meet them off the train at Leeds.

They're both v sensible and have phones with trackers on. Would you do this?! I think so but seems a long way.

No

My eldest 18 was on train yesterday should have been straight though to here - she ended up on 4 trains - which with heavy bags was a bit of a trial. She said she had train app which told her the platforms which hugely helped.

But trains these days are not reliable as they once were - couple of years time I'd say it would be fine but 10 and 13 I'd say no.

My son is a year younger 9 almost 10 and I won't even let him go to the shop which is behind those trees because it involves a road, I might be a helicopter mum but so be it, I'd be too concerned of all the what ifs

what if there's an accident?
what if there's a weirdo or arguement on the train?
what if they miss their stop?
what if they for whatever reason aren't there at the other end? get off early by accident?

there's too many other people involved and potential risks in my opinion

I do wonder how some children will ever make to adulthood confident and functioning with the amount of helicopter parenting and cotton wool coddling that goes on these days by some parents.

@SmileyHappyPeopleInTheSun Leeds to London is a main route. The only change you could really have is if the train broke down, everyone had to get off, and get on another train.

I have seen it in action. Very intelligent high flying young staff scared to get on a train journey to attend a meeting or training in a city they have never been to. We now have to say they can ring us if anything goes wrong. But I honestly despair. They are not going to Beirut, they are getting a train in Britain.

My mum dropped me at my college open day when I was 16 with strict instructions to meet her at the bus stop at 4pm to be picked up, I spent my money for the day at lunch time, 4pm rolled around my phone had died and I was waiting at the bus stop, our communication had got mixed up and we didn't find each other, the college wasn't even in my town and it was roaring hot day in July.

I ended up having to walk 10 miles home in blistering heat, no money no phone no water no food, it took me 5 hours, my mum had reported me missing. I finally got home at about half 9 at night crying my eyes out, I was 16 years old and not stupid, albeit too nervous to ask strangers for help. Things happen and even now at 30 that day haunts me 😂

Alive at least

An adult isn't going to be incompetent as they didn't catch a train across the country without an adult at 10yo.

Its about gradual independence, not all at once.

With no life skills, no confidence, no resilience, unable to cope and function in the world.

@Homedesign123 I would have got a bollocking for not going back into the college and asking for help. I was a very shy teenager, but I did ask officials for help when I needed to. And at 16 I had to get a train and taxi alone to an interview in a city I had never been to about 150 miles away. I was nervous about getting a taxi, but it was fine.

There are a great many (too many) posts on this thread where they are not getting the opportunity for that gradual independence or any independence at all.

I agree. But some parents give their children little or no independence and then set them free all at once as a teenager. It makes them very vulnerable. Also anxious parents usually have kids that lie to them if anything goes wrong as the kid is desperate not to loose the freedom they do have.

My stepdaughter has been doing a journey from Bucks to Cheshire since she was 12, to begin with her Mum was seeing her onto the train and her Dad was meeting her on the platform when she arrived and there was a drive on either end, then she started being willing to change to get to the smaller stations nearer to where each parent lives.

On the few occasions when something has "gone wrong", railway staff will notice unaccompanied minors and make sure they are on the train they need to be on and are safe.

I'd double check their phones are charged and consider having a tracker on it for extra peace of mind.

Yes I would. I used to send mine to my mother unaccompanied. Always booked first class and alerted the train conductor that they were travelling alone. This was pre smartphones too.

I agree. You teach your kids what to do when things go wrong. They need to learn how to cope when this happens and what to do.

At 16 I was travelling to Skye to holiday with my friends and at 17 I was travelling to Italy to holiday with my friends on public transport.

And we didn't have mobile phones, or apps, or trackers. You phoned home once a week on a pay phone and sent a postcard.

Oh I absolutely did, I got more than a bollocking I'll tell you 😂

@Homedesign123 oh okay!
My mum would have given me a bollocking and then when she had calmed down told me that I had coped with the situation by walking home and nothing had happened. She always used to reinforce that it was good when things went wrong and I coped. She wanted me to be brave.
These days we go on holiday to places where people tell me I ma brave. It is not Beirut or anywhere way out, just not the usual sun destinations. I would have missed out on so much if I was not more brave. And I regret the times I was not braver.

You can pay 10p for a platform ticket, or most stations will let you in for free if you explain the reason, walk them to the train, watch them get in and sit down, and leave once the train has gone, and relative can do the same on the other end and be waiting on the platform ready for them as they disembark the train.

You have a lovely mum, mine was very strict and not all that caring. But that's not the point of the thread, I had friends as a teen who's parents let them do whatever they want and they were having sex In bushes at 13/14 and one was giving a peado bottles of her spit and her dirty underwear in return for phone credit when she was like 12. I've seen what can happen when you aren't careful which is probably why I am so careful but that's just me, sometimes you have to live in the real world to see the real world

I stayed at her house when she actually went to do the spit bottle drop off, it was disturbing, we all went with her but stayed at the top of the hill while she went to meet him, it gives me the chills to this day

They will tell you planned platform changes long before they announce it if you explain why. I only know this because of mobility issues there is no way I can get to a changed platform in the time usually given. They do not tell you without a good reason though and I have no idea why not.
Also the DCs will have phones and can phone to say there is a delay or the train is now coming into platform 3. I do this when my DP is meeting me off the train.
Staff are usually very helpful if you have a good reason. And if they were not OP could even get a very cheap train ticket to the first stop the train goes to on the way back to get direct access to the platform if she wants. But even if you wait the other side of the barriers they would be fine.
Kings Cross and St Pancras have quite a heavy transport police presence as they look out for run aways and nefarious goings on. So if OP was not at the barrier, the transport police would pick them up anyway if they were wandering around looking lost.

You can buy a platform ticket for this purpose.

It was a main route DD was on - big northern city large city to major city here - but there was an unexpected problem with freight train hitting someone and blocked entire main line - and route round was meandering hence 4 trains.

I'm not saying that's usual - but it does happen.- and our experience of trains - we don't drive so use them a lot - is they are ever more unreliable.

I don't think we mollycoddle like some posters on here. My DD was going to uni offer days on train by herself and my kids were going to local shops from age 10and from 11 into our city center by themselves with friends and by mid teens nearby town and bigger cities on trains by themselves on public transport trains and buses.

I think it's too young by couple of years - OP can choose to do what she thinks is reasonable.

@Ormally it is basic planning to check there is not a game on. I would not travel on a train if it would be full of football fans.
You tell the DCs to find another seat if there is a problem or ask the ticket inspector. Or ring mum. Its really not a big deal.