Why are middle class kids always so sporty, outdoorsy & confident?

[Greensleeves6]

Both from state & private schools. Just an observation. But why?

Mines are outdoorsy and sporty. Will probably come out as confident too (but be aware of appearances - dc1 is actually quite anxious and manages it through exercise, dc2 is autistic so has issues of his own).

Why are they sporty and outdoorsy?
Because right from the start I wanted them to feel good in their own bodies (own experience of never having done any sport as a child). So they were involved in some sort of physical activity (incl running around at our local park on a very regular basis. It hasn’t been all ‘paid for’ stuff at all)
Both myself and dh are outdoorsy so being out and doing stuff has been their experience since they were little (camping, hiking etc etc)

Confidence I think is in part linked to their experiences - lots of different ones again since they were little. Giving them as much autonomy and independence as they could handle. Their own hobbies has reinforced that as teens.

Do I think it’s a miracle recipe to be like that? Nope.
A lot of it is also down to their own temperament tbh. In some ways, I think it’s also a lot of luck.
But also having the means to pay fir some afterschool activities made a difference too.

And btw I agree that many MC children are not sporty at all.
Incl at private school.

There's a difference between sporty and outdoorsy

I sent a message to my old Guide leader a few years ago thanking her.

I genuinely learned confidence, leadership skills, getting out my comfort zone, the love of learning (hated the classroom!!) and social skills. Sounds harsh on my parents but I also learned culture too.

I love the outdoors and now take DD regularly on hikes/walks - I could hear a leader saying ‘Skin’s waterproof!’ As we were collecting pebbles in the rain the other day. I couldn’t imagine camping if you didn’t either have someone who knew what they were doing or the experience yourself. I love camping now, it’s my happy place, DC will grow up outdoors thinking it’s the norm. But, it’s not exactly cheap either if you just went into GoOutdoors to buy the tent/sleeping bags/chairs/stove off the bat. Luckily it’s something that I’ve been adding to since my first camp at 10. My mum thinks I’m bonkers for choosing to go camping when I can afford a ‘proper holiday‘.

I went to uni and had a good job (prior to my career break for DC) - the ability to problem solve, lead and team work I 100% put down to Guiding.

I also gained the skills/want to learn. From asking questions to the numerous guest speakers I learned that most people want to share their knowledge. People who ask questions aren’t stupid. And even boring subjects can be made interesting by passionate people. It’s ok to try something and not be naturally gifted, as that’s normal and to be expected, the ones laughing are the ones that are too scared to try themselves.

Unfortunately kids aren’t going to be well rounded if they just watch tele, go to school and maybe visit family at the weekend. Won’t go to the free museum as it’s boring even tho they’ve never been.

A lot of it is also down to their own temperament tbh. In some ways, I think it’s also a lot of luck.

Do you really think this? I would say the main reason is that it is your family culture to do this.

I asked our son if he’s seen of knows what a lighthouse is, he’s been to Japan, Spain, Iceland, the UK, France, Germany and Finland. He’s never seen one in real life, he knew what it was as they recently learn about the coast at school, he’s nine.

I don't know what category we are. I can't quite bring myself to say middle class, dh prefers to think of us as working class. Do I care? no. Go on one of those links
link
to see what 'class you are' and it says we are 'elite' - what because I took ds2 to the theatre to see Macbeth for GCSE English? oh purlease.

Dh and I both earn ok but not massive. But I noticed that at ds1's school, as he left for uni, most/many of the kids have just about everything going for them. Its a nice local school, that is very good, with 6 schools feeding into it. Parents who care, attend parents evening: kids are nice, good looking, bright, sporty, nice friends, out and about at parties, doing activities. They are lucky. What have they go to worry about?

Yes, some are less fortunate, parents struggling financially, some of the girls particularly seem to have very low self esteem, many self harmers. But the school was very good at supporting everyone no matter what their background, to aim high for any job, apprenticeship, uni they wanted.

what because I took ds2 to the theatre to see Macbeth for GCSE English

That would be enough for mumsnet to remind you to check your privilege, tbh.

Tbf Mn isnt the best place to ask this. Because most people are on mn because they care, care about thier kids ( yes i know lots of posters don't have dc, but by it's nature most do, hence the site name). So we are here because we care. Most of us are interested in our kids, read to them etc. ask about which app to use for GCSE success etc. Because we care.
so mn users aren't going to be the best representation of uk parents generally, their stuggles, their challenges.

on the topic of life experiences, I met a 10 year old recently who had never before seen a postage stamp

@Collexifon true. But as a lot of this thread was devoted to screentime, a family without the financial resources, could download a copy of the macbeth film, for free, or relatively easily. You don't need to go to the theatre to see it to do well in GCSE english.

I think my husband would be considered at least middle class, his family are old money and the last few generations haven’t needed to work, he attended boarding school from the age of eight, he isn’t confident or sporty. He didn’t go to university as he didn’t feel academically capable (he is very much capable). His family don’t value education, its just a convenient tool to raise their children for them.

I grew up in poverty, we shared a flat with another family, we all learned an instrument, took part in at least one team sport, regular library trips, days in the park pond dipping etc. I went to university I have a first class degree and a masters, I played sport professionally, outside of sport I made sure I gained a profession to fall back on.

No I'm just talking about normal middle class. Uc I'd associate with rowing, polo, equestrian sports, skiing etc which is beyond the realms of many normal mc families

But you need parents to see the point.

Working in education is an uphill battle as it feels a lot of parents thinks it’s all pointless. I wonder what the percentage is of how many parents have even asked their DC what books they’re studying. Let alone thought of doing something to encourage that learning outside of the classroom.

I mentioned upthread about my experiences of how Girlguiding shaped me. Until recently I volunteered as a Brownie leader. We were planning our end of year trip and fortunately it had been sponsored by a local business. We asked the girls what they wanted to do. One girl mentioned wanting to go to London (a few chirped in in excitement that they had never been either). Then they somehow decided on the natural history museum. These girls were buzzing with excitement. They were acting like we were taking them to Disney.

Next week everything had changed, they didn’t want to go to a museum as they’re boring and all full of dust. The girls who had never been to London, all their mums were friends, and told the girls how boring it would be.

Instead they ended up choosing to go to the local trampoline park for pizza and slushies.

Tbf, an online forum may not attract users that are outdoorsy and sporty and confident, so not surprisingly they don't have that to pass on (referring to the flood of users piling on to say how unsporty and unconfident their kids are)

I agree. Mc kids are not more talented artistically or more sporty. They have experiences handed to them & often plenty of money pumped into them too..

Dc2 had a friend who had never been to a nearby town. It’s a very well known place. Only 30~45 mins away. It has a lot to attract families (hence it’s also a touristic place).
But that child, whose parents are decidedly MC, just don’t do anything out of our (small!!) town.

That's good though isn't it?

Determination to move out of this environment or do something constructive with their time?
Run past the riff raff and do as they can.
P.E shouldn't be disrupted by unruly kids but place on detention or a strict teacher.
Oh, please, how do 3rd world athletes make it without expensive sports wear and shoes but get to the Olympics.

Children probably have a desire to be at sports and hence have a better frame of mind and sense of self being involved, team work, team building.
I was never able to do sports and activities.
They are not always more confident at all.

In two different instances (a good friend of mine and the dd of another), the mum has been trying to do something very similar. Outdoorsy parents, loads of opportunities to be outside, etc…

One if them has developed a hate of hiking/hillwalking after been taken on one too many walks as a child. She is sporty but most outdoor activities raise a big fat NO.
The other has a dd who dislike more or less all her mum’s outdoor activities. Her passion is theatre, concerts and her happy place is a town with museums etc… She is a teen, yes sporty as in she still does quite a few sporty activities but I have no doubt that once she leaves fir Uni, it will all disappear.

Thats what I mean by luck.

My dcs were exposed to many things but we’ve been lucky they enjoyed those activities. They might have developped very different tastes. (And I’d have followed them)

Maybe feed them a better diet and tidy the garden?

And hopefully they'll be driven by a desire to do better for themselves.

I’m not sporty, but I love being outdoors, doing things like hillwalking and swimming, and I’m extremely confident. I’m also the child of an illiterate binman and cleaner.

My child is having an MC upbringing and is extremely sporty, but not particularly outdoorsy, or very confident. Neither am I ‘pumping money’ into him.

Well obviously it's not good as it creates a very unlevel playing field.

@Collexifon oh jog on. Do better for themselves? I have a professional career and my garden is cluttered because it's the size of a postage stamp. We live in a city, the fourth biggest in the UK. We don't all have acres of land. It's worrying you're in education with your judgemental and negative presumptions about peoples lifestyles. My kids do have a good diet. But as a lone parent with a full time job paying a mortgage in a city, there's not loads of time to prep food. I can imagine it would be near impossible if I was disabled, on NMW or had a child with ARFID.