Why are middle class kids always so sporty, outdoorsy & confident?

[Greensleeves6]

Both from state & private schools. Just an observation. But why?

I've taken time to ensure ds can swim well, we cycle together a lot so he's familiar with local routes, he's practised karate since he was 5 because we both go. And he can ski.

We live rurally so I drag him out walking. He can spot a skylark and name the different owls by their call but that's just because I can. He's totally out of his comfort zone in a city centre.

Otherwise, he has all the usual anxieties of every teen.

It's just familiarity and the knowledge that they can cope with something. Seeing their parents do stuff as well. Ds sees me running 5k so thinks it's easy (which it probably is at 15).

We're as middle class as it's possible to be, but our kids aren't any of those things.

When parents haven't had a good upbringing themselves it can be a challenge to completely change their opinion of what is normal and how childhood should be. Its equivalent to attempting to change someone's general morals and personality.

You can give them the information, but telling someone "you should talk to your child in this way, do these day trips, arrange this many playdates, feed these meals, clean the house to this standard, read this often, book swimming lessons and sports clubs, and do this whilst working your low paid job due to your own poor education" doesn't mean they'll actually manage it.

I suppose it's hard to be outdoorsy when you're stuck up the chimney

But you can always break out into a chirpy, Cockney song?

Running is an interesting thing....it's virtually free. All you need is a pair of trainers. I once drove through Fulham, Chelsea, Clapham on a weekend morning....I have never seen so many people running in my life! The pavements were jam packed with them. Because it's not just about money...a lot of it is about motivation

Money for sports clubs etc and also feeling safe and confident in your area. Where I live (deprived area in a major city) it's all about keeping your head down and avoiding trouble, it doesn't make you appear more confident.

Not having money worries and feeling like you have a lot of opportunities open to you really helps.

I've seen a few references to there being "no excuse for" not taking kids to libraries/normalising physical activity etc.

There's a few different factors here, I think. (Also, just because people on this thread are giving potential reasons/factors behind the decisions taken and situations discussed, it doesn't mean they're giving excuses - it's not quite the same thing.)

But as several pp have said more eloquently than me, not everyone understands the correlation between reading to small children and introducing them to the importance of books, and educational success. Furthermore, not everyone thinks educational success is even important. Some people struggle to provide anything over and above a physical place to sleep and regular food, and some people just genuinely don't really care about their kids - thankfully they're in the minority. I guess my point is that there's a very wide range of families out there, and IMHO it's a bit naive to say there's no excuse for not asking kids to their local library or making them go on long walks.

You are right on an individual level. It would be clearly incorrect to suggest that all WC kids aren't sporty and all MC kids are. However, on a population level, sport participation and other health factors are more widely found in MC compared to WC kids. It's so, so unfair and it's why your socioeconomic experience as a child is unfortunately a strong prognostic indicator of adult health and eventually life expectancy. Of course it is not written in stone, but strongly indicative.
As to the reasons, lots of underlying factors such as parental motivation and value placed on sports which generally require a certain level of support for the child. Sports can incur costs...even if it's just a hour round trip in the car. Some families simply can't do this or wouldn't want to. Also, if your parents are active and busy, there is some chance of it running off. Private schools place a much higher emphasis on sport and the opportunities are more consistently available and ongoing. For example, netball weekly plus matches from 7 rather than a 6 week slot of lessons in year 5. Of course some state schools offer wonderful, competitive sports clubs but as it is based on the goodwill of teachers rather than being someone's specific job it is more down to chance.
It's all very unfair and the government should place a high priority on closing the gap in this area.

My dd was stopped and searched by the police when she was running when she was eighteen. It was only her third time doing it.

The parks around here are full of WC kids playing football, riding bikes and skateboarding on the ramps. Perhaps that's not quite MC enough though.

What do they do?

🤷🏻‍♀️ maybe it's about spare cash or where you live. Probably a mix of both.

Definitely not linked to class.

Someone who lives rural, will see a trip a museum or art gallery as a treat. If you live in a big city it's a rainy day activity.

When growing up the sports clubs local and available to me where gymnastics and athletics.
My DC easy access sports club is martial arts or cadet (although cadet isn't sports...)

When I was in reception everyone would have known what a lighthouse was, but probably not a 'lunch.'
We called it dinner, we had 'school dinners' or went home for dinner.No one had a pack up!

😟
Sorry to hear that.

Don't get me started on stop and search!

Parental influence? My wc mil is of the opinion success is for other people.

it’s poverty of ambition, she had no interest in her kids whereas her siblings kids mostly went to grammar. My dh had the intelligence but no confidence to progress himself and when his education faltered at 14 when his school merged with another school mil took no interest at all. It wasn’t her problem and she gave him no encouragement to learn, to find things hard and push through.

Whereas my parents are wc but they had ambitions for me and encouraged me on.

Mine's very confident and academic, not sporty in the slightest, though she does enjoy her dance and gymnastics classes. Likes playing outside with her friends and going for the odd walk but i wouldn't say she was outdoorsy unless it's an activity with the Brownies.

Thought I’d read this exact question before. Maybe read this one!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5101166-why-are-middle-upper-class-children-so-confident?latest=0

I think it was just an anecdotal example of the differences this teacher has seen. I'm.not sure my youngest remembers ever seeing a lighthouse but they would know what one is from.books, tv etc. I would say it would be quite unusual for not a single child to know. Cultural capital is a real thing. Look at charities like the Joseph Rowentree and Sutton Trust. It really upsets me if people can see the underlying privilege that some children have and why it makes a difference to them. I realise you were just commenting on this one point and not saying privilege doesn't exist.

Off topic but if your child is good at running, get them to junior parkrun. My son is in Y4 and he is one of the overtakers - he won all his races this year purely from doing junior parkrun each week. The kids who came close are also parkrunners.

I can't get him to athletics club because of work but it would be cheap if I could (£2), and on a beautiful track.

Outside of personality and family lifestyle, it's cultural capital. They (middle class kids) have been in a variety of spaces and feel entitled to be in that space and have role models in that space. So they are comfortable and confident and more likely to take part. Same for the arty leaning kids.

Some places are more easy to access though. My middle class kid is as happy at rugby league as he is at fencing. But he's a rarity to be equally comfortable in both spaces and that's probably personality and our family background in that I am very close to my working class roots and I married into a very middle class extended family. We can both code switch as needed.

I have exactly the children you describe but honestly it’s genetics. They were early walkers and constantly active as toddlers and now very hyper sporty teenagers. They go to schools that encourage it.

but…. Their close friends are not all like that at all. I mean, some are, the ones they know through sport, but most school friends don’t play like they do.
we do encourage them a lot and they used to walk, scoot, bike the mile to school from reception so we’re brought up being active and not relying on cars.

nor sure if it is middle class trait though. I think being good at sport is a natural confidence booster and so it can apply to anyone whatever their background . My husband is from a working class background but he is one of the sportiest people I have ever met. You can guess which parent the children take after!

perhaps it is just who you have noticed rather than it being confined to one group of kids.

my thoughts exactly!!

@Greensleeves6 do you mean upper middle class? Middle class in the UK is a very wide and varied category

I agree it's mostly down to parental attitude.

My brother was encouraged by df in school sports, bought all the kit, had a bike, joined teams, access to clubs. Me & sisters weren't bought anything - girls were useless at sport. We weren't allowed out, didn't have bikes, because being out on our own would render us pregnant at 12, and a total disgrace. So we were kept in. It was a nightmare.

I'm a single mum so money is tight but ds & I cycle together (free), we parkrun (free). We hike - living rurally helps. DS went to the library every week (free).

We never have a takeaway, I never have alcohol, always cook from scratch but it means I can afford £7.50 a week for ds swimming sessions.

History need not repeat itself.