ADHD - is it worth getting diagnosis later in life?

[GogAndMagog]

Just that really. I just had one of those days yesterday. Rushing to an appointment. Always rushing. Then saying to myself 'why am I like this'. I am in my 50s.

Feeling overwhlemed. Supposed to see friends for dinner but I had to cancel as main friend had invitted a bunch of other people, including some I hadn't even met. I would need to be 'on form' and I just couldn't face it, the pretending.

Stayed up too late picking the skin on my fingers to pieces worrying and overthinking. Can't sit still, always picking at my fingers or feet. Then shamed staring at my picked fingers/ feet.

Mornings are difficult. Getting out of the house a nightmare. If I have to get a train somewhere, guaranteed I'll be looking it up five minutes before I need to leave. Getting lost is just part of my life. Being in a new building or environment is terrifying - not funny at all as I walk the wrong way out of an entrance and still can't work out where I am.

Applying for jobs and even though I know how long these things take, my application is invariably handed in at 11.59pm on the closing date. Every single time.

House is a mess of clutter but too overwhelmed to tackle it. Procrastinate, delay, avoid.

Half a day can go by and I have achieved nothing.

Hate the summer with its bright exposing light. Prefer a dark room.

On paper, I sound successful. Inside I'm a mess. God knows how I ever got a qualification or a decent job.

Oh yes I do know, staying up late and getting in work by the skin of my teeth, getting by on the adrenalin of the panic mode.

What would a diagnosis achieve? I'm already on anti-depressants. Already in counselling dealing with dysfuctional family issues.

Why can't I learn to be better? I should know by now. It is stressful.

Just rambling now. Any thoughts or insights that could help? Thank you.

This sounds so much like me and I'm pretty sure I have ADHD and also not sure what benefit I would get paying a lot of money to get a diagnosis (I'd be waiting years to get assessed on the NHS). I guess if you want to try medication, that would be the benefit, but again I'd have to pay privately for that so that's what's putting me off.

For me, a change of scenery really helps me reset things. We're away on holiday at the minute and I know I'll have much more motivation when I get home to tackle the mountain of kids old clothes and stuff I don't wear any more and either put it on Vinted or throw stuff away or donate to a charity shop. It's currently taking over a whole room in our house! However I can't just keep going on holidays to help my ADHD!

I have so much clutter in the house to tackle but I'm just going to focus on the clothes for and forget the rest for now, or else I'll get too overwhelmed and end up doing nothing.

I have taken some additional leave from work this summer as unpaid parental leave and that's definitely helping me feel a bit less overwhelmed with stuff. Obviously I'm losing pay, but for me it's worth it.

I feel if I can slowly get the house more decluttered and organised that will really help, I just need the motivation to do it.

Wow, I could have written that word for word. Thank you for responding.

If we are away in a nice holiday cottage, with no clutter I see how life could be.

The clothes are an issue. I have many nice things which I don't wear but loath to get rid of.

It's as though the clutter not only occupies space in my house but in my brain too.

I can't afford a private diagnosis. I suppose it would just answer so many questions.

Do I have bad habits or is it something else? 🙄

Holiday cottages aren't real life though - they're bare of them possessions except the minimum to function, empty of personality. You need to accept yourselves. Whether you have adhd or not, the idea there is some perfectible version of us around the corner is unlikely.

I would focus on the practical side of decluttering. How about paying a professional declutterer to help you sort out everything?

Private ADHD assessments for adults are expensive and so trendy at the moment. Some people must be making a lot of money out of this.

Hi OP, yes helpful for medication but costly if private route x

What would a diagnosis achieve?

Validation that there is a reason behind why you find things so difficult and an understanding from others? Medication to try to combat some of these things?

You don’t need to pay for a private assessment. Look up Right to Choose, find a provider and go to your GP to be referred.

Modern life.

I have one booked for 5th Oct.

Far from jumping on a band wagon, my therapist suggested to me years ago that I had ADHD and I got very upset and insisted that NO I DID NOT.

But oh boy I really do.

Hope the assessment goes well.

@GogAndMagog I share so many of these things.

I don't have a magic answer but glad you posted.

It was life changing for me.

I relate to a lot of this. My DD has recently been diagnosed with ADHD, as has my uncle and I wonder if I have it too. I think I’m going to ask GP for referral for assessment. Yes, the waiting lists are years long, but I’ve got the time 🤷🏼‍♀️ I’ve managed (often badly 😂) for 45 years, so what’s a few more years? Might as well be on a waiting list while I just get on with life. I don’t know if I’d want to try medication or not, but I think I would quite like to know, for my self-esteem really. I have often felt like I am stupid/lazy/immature compared to others and I think it could help me feel a little more at peace with myself if I were to find there is a real, meaningful reason for it rather than me just being crap.

Read the life changing magic of tidying up by Marie Kondo. This makes getting rid of stuff much easier.
Start a bullet journal. Watch the clip on YouTube that is 4.12 long. It's the functional bit, not all the arty farty stuff that some women get into.
Clutter is over whelming. Is there a friend who could help you tackle it bit by bit? Starting with clothes a la Marie Kondo. There are companies who sell your stuff online for you which might be easier for you than dealing with it yourself.

Diagnosis and medication has changed my life.

I know recommendations like bullet journals are well meant, but my experience is they are useless in ADHD.

To answer your question, you need to consider what you would want from that diagnosis? If you are looking for an explanation for why you find things so hard, then I think its a no-brainer. You say you already have therapy, but with a diagnosis you might get some additional OT support. Secondly, would you opt for medication? It doesn't suit everybody - it changes how you think and behave and that is too much for some. My DD had real issues with the side effects of the medication when she was diagnosed, aged 12. After she had tried everything on the market over an 18 month period, she opted for quick release methylphenidate, which means she can access 'the focus' for a few hours at a time, and this has helped her with studying and things like packing to go on holiday, but let's her return to her normal chatty, funny whirlwind self fairly quickly too. But diagnosis + medication is only a supporting adaptation; it is not a remedy and certainly not a cure.

Hi OP, I had been waiting for a diagnosis on the nhs for over 4 years and finally got my diagnosis in Feb. I have now finally started on medication and I would say it is life changing. Ive the entire house from top to bottom without hesitation, I'm able to focus on tasks without zoning out and getting bored. My general anxiety has lessened so much and I feel so less overwhelmed and generally positive. I'm now able to actually complete a task from start to finish. My head is just so much calmer and quieter. II would 100% say it is worth it.

Tell me you have no understand of ADHD without telling me you have no idea of ADHD. Honestly.

Tried pretty much all of that.

Last count I had 17 (?) bullet journals, all completed for between 3 and 8 days. Forming habits is near impossible with ADHD.

As for Marie Kondo I managed my sock drawer. Then because they were all away and I couldn’t see them I forgot I owned any and bought 2 dozen more. (object permanence)

Same. And they make you feel even more shit about yourself.

Can you elaborate a bit on what specifically has changed for you. I have long suspected I too could do with being assessed. Life is just so hard. I get bogged down in small tasks and never make much progress at anything and the stress and overwhelming feelings are all too much.

Diagnosed at 51. I’m really glad I got the assessment. I think the most positive outcome is that I recognise when I’m tipping over to overwhelm or I’m rattling about too much and give myself permission to step away. I know what it is and why it happens and I know that the symptoms aren’t going to stop unless I do my strategies. So instead of pushing through I stop and regroup.

I have meds too, that would be the second positive (although I often forget to take them, whodathunk eh). They took a bit of getting used to but its been worth it, particularly for work.

I've actually just been referred for adhd assessment. I'm sorry those things didn't work for you but they've dramatically improved my life.

It explained so much of my life experiences. The impact on relationships. Allowed me to understand what I need at work etc to support me. Enabled my husband and others to realise that I wasn’t the way I was out of choice.

My teen daughter was diagnosed just before me and I’m able to help her and to give her the strategies I wasn’t given as a teenager.

I was able to focus on non-med support and talk to others about the difficulties of being ND in a NT world.

And now meds are giving me a quiet brain for the first time ever. I can cope better with the expectations of work and spot when I’m on the verge of burnout.

But mostly, my mask isn’t hiding me away anymore.

I was diagnosed this year (I’m 56) and still waiting to go to the titration team. Your post has given me so much hope, thank you, I love you.

Work is so difficult right now, I zone out mid conversation on the phone. Tedious tasks are impossible and let’s not even mention the house. I’m so tired through the struggle to keep going!

And how are we supposed to find the bullet journal when we’ve put it down?

people with adhd love journals. We have loads of them. Every new journal promises organisation, promises freedom. And every single one lets us down.

we can’t have a single one of anything because we’d never find it!

as for Maria Kondo, even she gave up her methods.