Thread 14 - TalkLair: “What The Hell Are We Supposed To Use, Man? Harsh Language?”

[Kucinghitam]

(Previous thread 13).

Summer should be well under way, but the chilly wind, grey clouds and pouring rain beg to differ. Looks like 2024 continues to be a washout - on the bright side, the Tories got washed out too! In the TalkLair, we remain hunkered down keeping cosy and warm. The hearth is glowing, the walls covered in dubious artwork, books by non-approved authors line the shelves, rugs are down on the floors (and assorted pets curled up on them).

We just won’t mention the gnawed bones of our prey over there in the corner of the cave…

So cute!

2:30 am. Mochi comes into our bedroom, says "meow" and then has a particularly loud and energetic session of night-time zoomies. I try to sink back into sleep despite the noise, when suddenly I hear a tiny squeak. Well, I learned my lesson from the previous mouse fiasco, so this time I leap out of bed, switch on the big light and order DH to keep an eye on the mouse. Rush downstairs to get something to catch it in, rush back upstairs. DH says "It was squeaking and then there was a horrible crunching sound and now it's not squeaking." So I discard the poor tiny corpse while DH distracts the cat.

With difficulty, particularly with the muggy hot night, we try to get back to sleep.

4.00 am. Mochi comes into our bedroom, says "meow" and then has a particularly loud and energetic session of night-time zoomies. I'm not really asleep because of the previous disturbance, when suddenly I hear a tiny squeak. I shout "No fucking way" then leap out of bed, switch on the big light and order DH to keep an eye on the mouse. Rush downstairs to get something to catch it in, rush back upstairs. This time, the victim has managed to escape Mochi and she's frantically searching the room. DH has only just got his glasses on and has no idea where it is. Eventually we find it cowering behind a table leg. I catch the poor little thing and release it outside, while DH locks the cat flap.

With even greater difficulty, we try to get back to sleep. Mochi is now throughly wound up and hunts all around our bedroom, shouting at us. Then tries to destroy the cat flap so she can get another mouse. Then comes back to shout at us some more. DH and I have both given up on sleep and are doom-scrolling on our phones.

7.00 am. I think I did eventually get some sleep. Mochi is shouting because we're late serving her breakfast.

PS. Mochi does wear a bell. So these must be a tribe of particularly deaf mice.

Clever Mochi. You don't want her to have any fun. It's so nice that she thinks of you as her pride and wants to demonstrate her skills to you. Once she's eaten a few more I'm sure she'll offer to share the leftover meat.

My task yesterday was to get copies of my parent's death certificates for clearing up purposes. While in there I decided to tackle something totally trivial that has bothered me for years.

My mother's middle name was Christina. When I registered her death the registrar looked at her birth certificate, said breezily 'no, that says Christine' and registered it as such. I was still too shaky to argue, and when I checked later and saw that I was right, didn't feel up to doing anything about it.

So yesterday, back at the counter (and still feeling a bit triggered by being there tbh) I raised the issue, showed the birth cert to the (new, nice) young woman - and she corrected the record! As I say, totally trivial, but it was bothering me to a quite weird degree, and I'm so pleased it's sorted.

Well done @DeanElderberry, that sort of thing is so emotionally difficult!

Meanwhile FiL continues on his mission to do himself in. The family are making (slow) progress towards getting his house on the market, and we have reiterated to FiL that the reason we wanted him to move to the sheltered flat was so he wouldn't have to maintain a whole house.

But he's been finding new and exotic "jobs" to do around the house, preferably involving climbing up ladders and severe exertion. Last month he had a bad scratch on his arm, due to "sweeping the flat roof [of the rear extension]" and last week he proudly told DH that he's "washed all the curtain rails, you wouldn't believe the amount of dirt that came off!" (DH fumed at me that FiL had never thought of washing curtain rails in 60 years of living in the house). Just got a message from SiL this morning that she discovered FiL has been painting the house!

This after the most recent estate agent clearly explained that nothing should be done to the house.

This after the most recent estate agent clearly explained that nothing should be done to the house.

Is that why he's doing it?

I imagine he wants to feel useful and competent, even if he isn't.

My mother's actual name, according to her birth certificate, was Grace Nellie, but she insisted it was Grace Ellen, and somehow even managed to get that version on her passport. She told me she thought Nellie was a "dreadfully common" name, and she didn't mean common in the sense of frequently seen. Weird, because she really wasn't a snob in other aspects of her life.

I said to DH that we should confiscate FiL's house keys right now.

The whole family have agreed that we will tell FiL to stay away once the house is on the market, but some of them are quibbling about the valuations/agent fees and want it to go on at a higher price/lower fees. This discussion is being conducted, very slowly, by means of a couple of WhatsApp messages every few days.

@Britinme - I had an aunt named Nellie (they all had only one first name, presumably as some sort of inter-war austerity measure), born in 1923. She was always called Nell.

I think Nell is a lovely name.

Gah, even listening to your stories of DH's family operations is raising my blood pressure, kuc! So frustrating

From the This England (newspaper clippings) column in the NS:

A dad-to-be tasked with packing his pregnant partner's hospital bag filled it with hair gel and a whistle. Liv Nightingale, 23, was baffled when her partner Ryan, 25, took the "essentials" to Worcester Hospital. Instead of towels and nightwear he had packed a tee-shirt with EastEnders' Max Branning on it and two dresses. "Two going-out dresses? I'm 34 weeks pregnant, where am I wearing those?" she asked in a vital post.

Sounds like weaponised incompetence to me!

@weaseleyes I know right? The thing is, DH moans to me about it and then generally does nothing much. Everybody is so avoidant, understandably they don't want conflict, but I am so worried about FiL doing himself an injury. The other day he was even talking about going into the loft to remove the old carpets!

I always feel really frustrated on your behalf when I read your posts about your FiL, Kuc. It must be infuriating to see all that dithering while the old man is putting himself in danger. Not sure I could cope with it.

I assume if you changed the locks, he'd just break a window to get in, @Kucinghitam? Unless of course there was a ladder so that he could climb down the chimney.

Speaking of weaponised incompetence, MrG's lunch wasn't heated quite to his liking the other day, so rather than reheat it myself (while mine got cold) I told him to shove it in the microwave at 600 for a minute. Some faffing later, he wailed that he couldn't find the timer on the microwave. I went in to find that he couldn't find it because he was looking at the oven. The microwave is at eye-level.

@Gonners OMG it's like the DH gene, I frequently have to share this meme with him or DC.

In the fewer-than-10 minutes since I posted that, I have had to explain that the reason his mouse was BROKEN!!! was that it needed a new battery. That was why the red light was flashing.

Over here, I also have to contend with language differences. While I was isolating in my bedroom with Covid and DH was responsible for catering, one day I asked him for the simplest possible meal - chicken salad. I told him we have a roast chicken in the fridge (bought from the supermarket), tomatoes, cucumber, lettuce, potato salad (bought from the supermarket) and a bag with coleslaw mix that just needed some of it mixing with mayo. In my head I saw a plate with a bit of chicken, some lettuce, tomato, cucumber, potato salad and coleslaw. What I got was a heap of grunged-together stuff with no lettuce or tomato, plus a spoonful of potato salad and four slices of cucumber. On tasting it, it was clear that in the heap was chicken, a little ham, the coleslaw makings, some sliced pepper, sliced mushrooms and sliced spring onions. It looked horrendous but actually tasted OK. I realized later that "chicken salad" over here is stuff that looks a bit like that but gets put in a sandwich or a wrap. Bless him, he did his best!

I got a bit giddy earlier. I had an endoscopy this morning, camera stuff. Heard nothing about it which made me think there was no good news but decided to ask our ward nurse who got it up on her computer, I'm reading along with her and we both come to "Clear fluids from the weekend"! This includes - which I didn't know - clear soup and broth and jelly - I'm so excited and will suggest to the doctor in the morning that Friday is in fact the start of the weekend!

In middle name type stuff mine was common in both senses, although was only becoming common when I was born. It is now rarely used as a name which is a very good thing.

Anyway I hated it from the earliest age so dropped it completely. Even if I have to use my birth certificate for something I state my full name is [lovely Foreman] [excellent surname]. It hasn't appeared on anything official my whole adult life.

Excellent news Mouse! You're still on the prayers and candles list though, just to be sure to be sure.

My mother used to refer to that kind of 'everything mixed together on the plate' meal, whether salad oh hot, as 'turkey food' and rather disapproved of humans eating it, but it can be v tasty. One of the perks of living alone.

Good news, @MouseMinge - does sorbet also count as a clear fluid? If so, maybe someone could bring you some in, in a cool-bag.

I reckon sorbet is a clear fluid - it's essentially the same as a very cold jelly.

It is now rarely used as a name

I like that this leaves open the possibility of it being used as something else. A coat rack, perhaps, or a tasty snack for aardvarks.

A novelty butt plug maybe.

I'll ask about sorbet. I'd have to be careful though because so many of them are fancy these days and fancy contains bits more often than not. I am a big fan of sorbet though.

Ooh! Thunderstorm earlier came along with a brief period of torrential rain which flooded the hospital reception right up to the m&s we have which had to close. There's a coffee franchise before you reach m&s so I'm guessing that had to close too. I'm not being all BBC by not naming the coffee franchise I just can't remember which one it is. Definitely not Starbucks but one of the others.