Anyone else not invisible in middle age?

[MadYoke]

I've read a lot about women becoming invisible as they age but haven't experienced it myself. I'm 60, and I feel quite seen, at work, and just generally. I was wondering if it is about not being desired by men, rather than not being seen? That is probably true, it just doesn't bother me too much. I've gotten more assertive as I age, perhaps that has countered the invisibility? What do others of my age think?

I agree with you. I am senior, competent and well respected at work and in general I am a fairly confident person.

I obviously don't have young men chatting me up any longer, but I wouldn't expect it, and wouldn't be interested anyway!

Good to hear Hatty65. Also outside of work, say in a shop or a social situation, I haven't felt that ageing has made me invisible. My appearance has certainly changed (sadly) but I still have my say I think. Maybe even more than I used to actually.

If 60 is middle age, what is 46? (Asking for what I thought was middle-aged me 😂)

I agree. I only retired from my job at 60 a couple of years ago because it suited me and DH at the time, but I certainly didn't feel invisible or pushed out. I do my dance classes and me and DH (who's 70) go out and about and still enjoy theatre, exhibitions, concerts etc. I get more irritated about things, and am ready to speak out more but maybe that's an age thing anyway!

60 isn't middle age though. 😬

Haha, you are right . I don't feel like an old lady yet though so not sure what to call myself! My mother is 90, that's what I consider old!

I'm 57 and very much visible! I have a great social life, lots of interests, and lots of friends of all ages. I love fashion and will never ever ask if am "too old to wear this".

Exactly. I am late 50s and have not considered myself 'middle aged' for about a decade. I am not a pensioner though. I class myself as being a 'Senior.' (I will be a pensioner at 65!) Then I will class myself as elderly at 70+ (Even though 'the internet' says it's 65!) 😆

I don't care what the internet says. 60 is 100% NOT middle age.

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I always assume when people say this they mean that men don't notice you.
I'm 60 and in my case that's possibly true. It's a huge relief.

I won't argue that it is not middle aged, (unless I live to 120). But I don't feel old either. Senior seems a bit American. Maybe I am just an older person, that might do it. But still very visible thankfully.

If you live past 90 then 60 is still in the middle 30 years of that...

Totally agree with you OP (and the others). I am constantly mystified when I read threads on here making strange statements about women over 50. One recently said she thought post menopause would mean being ‘frail, flabby and broken’. At 63 I am none of those things. I think my work and life experience is valued and I though I no longer care, I don’t think I am now invisible to men either. It’s not just me, I think all of the women I know still feel ‘seen’ and appreciated. I just don’t recognise the picture of the invisible older woman.

There are umpteen women in the public eye who prove that you can carry on being seen, valued and appreciated into your 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond. I wish people would notice that, and look at their own mothers and older colleagues and realise the huge disconnect between the reality and the way we sometimes talk about older women.

fun fact - women who say this were probably invisible before middle age they were just too busy with the kids to notice.

Yes, it is like we are talking ourselves down. In fact older women can be really powerful, wise and respected. That's what we need to project and to expect as we age .

Hmm, interesting thought

Im 52 and get more male attention than I ever did in my 30s

I think I look better now too

Totally agree, I don't feel 'invisible' at all and I am late 60s and still feel I have a lot to contribute to life and am respected. I think what (some) people are implying is that they don't get 'male attention' ... thank God for that !

Really....? Why?

Agree. I don't feel invisible. In some ways, I am blooming..I am not too happy about my changing body, but I don't care all that much about being desirable to random men.

@ThePoshUns I wanted to say that I think I am more attractive now than in my 30s and 40s but held back. I am more confident now and have more time and money now my children have grown up. I exercise more, eat better and have more energy and enthusiasm. Until I was in my mid 50s I felt like a tired drudge and that affected how I looked and how people reacted to me.

It’s not just outward appearance though. I find that people do value experience, contrary to the cliche about being on the scrap heap etc. Until my 50s I think I was fairly average in my career and I wasn’t seen as having any particular expertise but now, just by virtue of experience I am consulted and people think I am wise! I feel like I am boasting, but I can’t be the only person to feel this.

It's late middle age . 60 is not old age now .

@FeelingHotHotHotFeelingHotHotHot Attracting more male attention over 50 than in my 30s is my experience too. I am more confident and I take better care of myself. I think that’s attractive

It's late middle age . 60 is not old age now

I agree. I think middle age is from 40 to 70.

I am 61. I don’t feel invisible. I am still working - earning more than I ever have and having more say in my working life than ever
I no longer get male attention (judging by some of the threads on here that’s not a terrible thing)
I am married. I am healthy and mostly I am happy