Insane sexual chemistry with colleague

[Lillywho]

Away for a work trip and we work with external companies who also fly out to help on events.

The first day I locked eyes with one of the Managers and the chemistry was just insane. It was like a gravitational pull. I couldn't stop leaning in, laughing and smiling. After two days the nervousness was out of this world and I couldn't think of anything else but him. He's 12 years older than me too, 27 and 39. We are both in happy relationships but I know he felt it too as he was nervous, couldn't stop staring at me and the eye contact was awfully deep.
We've obviously kept it professional and it wouldn't ever go further as we discussed both our family's etc.

Has anyone ever experienced this? I never have until today. I'm now on my flight home and I'm just completely overwhelmed by it all and so disheartened I probably won't see him again as he lives 4 hours away and like I said, both in LTR's.

🤢

I think not seeing him again sounds like a good thing.

Forget about it. No good will come from this.

I think it's called limerence and you need to walk away. It's not real and will destroy you.

I'm now on my flight home and I'm just completely overwhelmed by it all and so disheartened I probably won't see him again as he lives 4 hours away

Thank your lucky stars for this and stop thinking about him. The only way to deal with this is to put him out of your mind. It's good that you didn't try to take things further on the trip - I guarantee you'd end up regretting it.

Look mate.
either you are fishing for plot lines to write a shitty book.
or you are quite appalling.

Perhaps he was nervous and couldn't stop staring as you "couldn't stop leaning in, laughing and smiling" because that would make me nervous too 😂

Imagine him sitting on the loo, trousers round ankles, noisy diarrhea squirting into the toilet, he's left the door open, it stinks and he's shouting for you to get more toilet paper and complaining about why there wasn't more in the bathroom because you should have done the weekly shop.

There you go. No move on and enjoy your life.

You are quite likely in the wrong relationship, or it needs a lot of work, I’d do a lot of soul searching if I were you.

It's probably all in your head. Forget about him.

🤣 this is brilliant!

Despite the comments acting like you are pol pot it happens. Just ignore and move on. These things pop up now and then. If you find you’re having crushes etc a lot I’d say possibly something is missing in your relationship. But no you’re not the devil in disguise just don’t act on it.

I’ve never been in that position but honestly, I’ve heard enough to form the opinion that when the chemistry is that ‘strong’ and intense, I’d see it as more of a red flag.

Emotions like that are intense but appear to crash and burn as quickly as they began.

Yeah this

You got horny on a weekend away. That’s all that was, there was fuck all chemistry.

That chemical buzz does not mean you're suited to each other, that they're a nice person or you have things in common and would work well together. It doesn't even mean the sex would be good. Tell yourself It's just pheromones and move on.

Absolutely NOTHING but misery down that road. You don’t know this man and he doesn’t know you so why on earth even contemplate fucking up your life, not to mention both your partners lives over this?
Think of it this way…..would you want your dp at home with you, mooning over his “intense chemistry” with someone else? For him to lay next to you in bed fantasising about some other woman who he doesn’t even know? Of course not.
Other people WILL have noticed too. In the remarkably unfair and unequal society we live in, you will get a bad reputation for this, whilst he will get props for getting it on with a much younger woman. For your sake, and everyone else’s, chalk this up to a moment of madness and move on.

This. I have been in that position and my advice is to run for the hills. If I could turn back the clock that’s what I would do.

I have been in that position….didn’t do anything. I can look back now at my 30 year old self and think , ah bless, and he was probably not all that. But at the time it got me thought some boring meetings day dreaming.

@Lillywho From someone stuck in a boring LTR I may have made a move. Did he have kids? Do you have kids? Neither married? You could take a chance if you did feel something

I’d ask myself if it was really that intense that your first thought was “I must leave my partner so that I am free to be with him”.

Do you want to leave your LTR? If no, then forget about it and never, ever go there.

If yes, analyse why and act accordingly.

It’s fine to notice you’re attracted to someone else even when you have a partner. It’s NOT fine to act on it.

I have had this with someone in my industry. We don't see each other often but when we meet the chemistry is off the scale and has been for the last 20 odd years.

Neither of us have acted on it but you literally can't put us in the same room. People even take the piss as it is so obvious. I don't think we are even suited but it is just our bodies are incredibly attracted to each other.

I had that sort of chemistry with someone once. The second we met we were totally drawn to each other and couldn't stay away.

It was very odd and I've never experienced it before or since.

We were both single so did end up shagging, he lasted about 20 seconds and then cried.

Wish I had kept it as a fantasy.

In my younger years, I had these feelings for a colleague but never acted on it. I can remember the buzz of being in the same room, the way we looked at each other, the desire, and all my daydreaming about him. I didn't act on it because he was with someone else. Eventually I moved jobs and lost touch, but I have seen his profile on FB years later. He's now middle aged, bit paunchy, got 4 kids...but still wow. However it would spoil my dream if we ever got together. Let sleeping dogs lie.

Meet up with him for a quick shag. That will get it out of your system and you can then securely move on.