Insane sexual chemistry with colleague

[Lillywho]

Away for a work trip and we work with external companies who also fly out to help on events.

The first day I locked eyes with one of the Managers and the chemistry was just insane. It was like a gravitational pull. I couldn't stop leaning in, laughing and smiling. After two days the nervousness was out of this world and I couldn't think of anything else but him. He's 12 years older than me too, 27 and 39. We are both in happy relationships but I know he felt it too as he was nervous, couldn't stop staring at me and the eye contact was awfully deep.
We've obviously kept it professional and it wouldn't ever go further as we discussed both our family's etc.

Has anyone ever experienced this? I never have until today. I'm now on my flight home and I'm just completely overwhelmed by it all and so disheartened I probably won't see him again as he lives 4 hours away and like I said, both in LTR's.

@Lillywho

Lots of replies but my tale is a little different.

I've had this twice in my life and have been married twice.

First dh was a teenage romance that evolved into a very long term relationship that ran its course (we basically grew apart, amicable split)
Second dh I've been with for almost 20 years, normal ups and downs but very much still together and in love etc We also still have insane chemistry which is lovely!

I was still with first dh when I saw my now dh across the room, I literally felt like I'd been punched in the stomach when I saw him and whenever our paths crossed (which was very infrequently) it was the same. It was unnerving as I recognised the feelings from the first time I had seen my dh at the time as a teenager.

And before the vipers pounce, there was no affair or emotional involvement at all, we eventually got together after my first marriage ended.

Wow, that's quite an assumption. Just because you had a bad experience doesn't mean every guy with good eye contact is a player. Sometimes people just click. Maybe take a step back from projecting your issues onto others. And as for 'don't shit where you eat, it's possible to feel a connection without acting on it. Not everyone is living your past

Haha vipers indeed 😂

I didn’t miss the point, you did. The point I was making was you have no idea what this man does. You were making a huge assumption.

Stick it in your wank bank and leave it there.

@pocketheart wow! Can I ask if you’re very attractive? And both your husbands? Am just wondering if this is more likely to happen with very good looking people?

Or him laying in bed next to snoring like a warthog,drooling and has just let rip a noisy stinking fart.

How embarrassing

Insane. Yes, it can be a form of madness I suppose.

In the old days you would just forget about him, but these days it's so easy to be tempted into looking for him on SM, and keep 'picking the scab.'

but it is just our bodies are incredibly attracted to each other.

What, like magnets?

Yes I have, twice. No good comes of it in my opinion.

Goodness me. Have you appointed yourself board prefect? You post as you see fit and I'll do the same. I'm really not interested in what you think of my post.

==

OP... as soon as ovulation was mentioned I got it. It's a devil. How strange though, the looking alike think is? Bodies are just bizarre!

I will never, ever bemoan my single status again. Thank you!

@Lillywho yes, been there, same age difference and everything (though I think I was a couple of years younger and single at the time). Unfortunately I have to echo what others have said. It’s a red flag rather than a cosmic encounter 99 times out of 100 (that’s my guess though honestly I’ve yet to hear a good story of this kind of scenario IRL). I really wish I was wrong on this, but men who have that with one woman, tend to have it with many, in fact they tend to be to very skilled at evoking this response in women rather than just a hopeless romantic.

im not saying it to be a downer, I’m just saying it because I know even the fact of having an experience like that can mess with your expectations around what real attraction or “love” should feel like.

I know many women who have been this road, or part way down this road and each of them regrets it. Make of that what you will.

That's a difficult question to answer!
Obviously I'm biased but first dh was definitely very attractive in a long haired man in a band 90s way!
Dh is also a very good looking man but again I'm biased? I'm aware of other women looking at him and my female friends describe him as a looker.

Me? I was bullied horrifically at secondary school so my self esteem was destroyed many years ago unfortunately. But yes, I'm aware that I'm attractive although I have become a little invisible now I'm older (not a bad thing!)
The short answer I guess is yes!

This made laugh so much. Thanks 🤣🤣

100% this

I think there are a lot of different possibilities here.

Maybe there was genuine chemistry between the two of them. But I also think attraction like that CAN be one sided, and we can fool ourselves the other person feels it too, just because we want them to.

I have felt that sort of attraction for a number of people in my life - I am highly sexed and a bit of a romantic and fall in love easily.

It happened more often when I was young. And the most recent one was my current partner. We met on an internet date, and the attraction, at least on my side, was like being hit by a steam train - I could hardly talk to him at first - after our first date i couldn't sleep or think of anything else but going to bed with him. And when we shagged on the second date, yes it was even more mind-blowing than I imagined.

Four years on and I can still feel like that for him, though also there has been a lot of water under the bridge, and my feelings are just pure unbridled lust and infatuation any more ... But the intensity of the attraction - that has definitely been a glue to hold us together through trickier times, and I wouldn't be without it.

OP, you can't know whether this bloke feels the same unless you ask him. And in all decency, you can't do that while you are still with your partner.

What is your current relationship like. Does it tick your boxes, or is it lacking? I would try and make a decision on this quote aside from your chemistry with this new bloke, if you can....

And if you DO decide your current relationship has run it's course, that is the time to consider whether it is worth having a go with Mr Chemistry. (If he wants to of course - you can't know for sure until you ask him. And you should only act on it if he is willing to move on from his LTR too. Lots of variables here.....)

How is this appalling 😏

Was thinking the same

Your body is a powerful machine! It is designed to procreate. Pheromones are so strong they can overrule your logic. Don’t worry - you didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes these things happen.

Ah just read you were ovulating too. Yes your body tried to take over there!

I would add that others also pick up on intensity between two people. Especially at work! Sometimes it’s just palpable.

Oh my good hod I wasn't expecting this 🤣

Yes I am currently experiencing this and I have to say it feels really awkward. I have attempted to avoid this guy because of it, but my role now requires me to work with his department as he is the contact. There is a definite attraction though.

I have never experienced this kind of chemistry with someone in the workplace, but as others I have I can see it is like playing with fire. There’s reputation to think about and I do think women come off worse in these scenarios. I think fantasy is probably where it should stay, likely he is not that amazing in reality.