Insane sexual chemistry with colleague

[Lillywho]

Away for a work trip and we work with external companies who also fly out to help on events.

The first day I locked eyes with one of the Managers and the chemistry was just insane. It was like a gravitational pull. I couldn't stop leaning in, laughing and smiling. After two days the nervousness was out of this world and I couldn't think of anything else but him. He's 12 years older than me too, 27 and 39. We are both in happy relationships but I know he felt it too as he was nervous, couldn't stop staring at me and the eye contact was awfully deep.
We've obviously kept it professional and it wouldn't ever go further as we discussed both our family's etc.

Has anyone ever experienced this? I never have until today. I'm now on my flight home and I'm just completely overwhelmed by it all and so disheartened I probably won't see him again as he lives 4 hours away and like I said, both in LTR's.

I get crushes and I tell my dh husband about them. Last year I fancied a man, and a woman and pointed them out to dh saying what I liked about them. Both dh and I are very secure in our marriage and so to dh, he was fascinated. Their energy, facial expressions, things they said.

After a while they fizzle out. Nothing bad happens.

Dh and I both have eyes and can appreciate other people from a distance. We are all human and get turned on by others. What is important is truth and never acting on it..

Like a few other posters, I’ve had this only he wasn’t a colleague, he was a friend of my then boyfriend. We met up in secret, shagged, it was terrible, he had a micro penis and was an arrogant arse with a drink problem.

I wish I’d kept it as a wistful fantasy because the reality was awful.

I just came on to say that me and a friend (not an especially close friend - someone I'd see every few months) had this for years. I still feel a bit guilty about it because I'm married and according to mumsnet thinking is just as bad as cheating, but I ignored it and it's evaporated now and he's just a regular acquaintance who I sometimes find a bit annoying. We've never been single at the same time and I would never have acted on it as I know it isn't real-real and I love my DH. But I've just realised he looks quite a lot like me. How embarrassing!

My other theory is that the person you are fixating on represents something that you would like in your own life - for me that's often career-related. You would like to be where they are, or you aspire to being more like them somehow. Your brain gets confused and like brrrrrzztp...eat them?...shag them....? but really you just need to ask yourself what it is they represent.

@sandrapinchedmysandwich Think I expressed myself quite well in a small amount of words 😆

@juniorspesh But I've just realised he looks quite a lot like me. How embarrassing
😂 😂

I agree with that other theory as well. I once met a guy who was kind of badgering me to hook up but didn’t find him remotely appealing until I found out he was super smart and doing engineering (I am hopeless with math). This guy, on ending things months later, emailed my friend and asked if he could remain friends with her! Lesson - trust your first instinct! 😂

I’m imagining the OP literally learning in, as though she’s been forcibly bent over by magic and is stuck, while laughing, smiling and making Intense Eye Contact with a slightly alarmed man, who is thinking about whether to have a ham or a cheese sandwich for his lunch.

It's lust mate. Enjoy the fantasy but no need to make anything of it.

Yes!

I agree PP. I think it could be that he has a very good career, I like a man that works hard and wants more out of life. I find it attractive. I like older men anyway. He doesn't look like my dad (thank god) in fact he's the complete opposite to what I'd usually be interested in. I liked his eyes... a lot. Been trying to explain this feeling to a close friend of mine. I wish it hadn't of happened, obviously. I also tried to avoid him as wanted to keep it professional but everything in my body was telling me to do the opposite.

Like a battery hen by the sound of it 😁

If you're so bored in your relationship that you reckon you'd shag someone else if you fancied them enough, why not do the grown up thing and break up with your partner?

@TheNoonBell

Neither of us have acted on it but you literally can't put us in the same room. People even take the piss as it is so obvious.

Watching people who think they have palpable sexual chemistry clearly revealing in it in company (which you're doing if everyone has noticed) is so embarrassing to witness as a third party 😬

People are taking the piss out of you at work for this. Does it not make you cringe?

Do you think maybe he was staring as you were so obvious and he was uncomfortable?

He is a player. There was a guy who visited my office who made prolonged eye contact with me (I was trying to work out where I knew him before).

Turns out I had seen him on video chat. He left to a different department after having an affair with a very junior female colleague whose husband outed them to everyone via email.

You don’t have insane chemistry. This man sleeps around. Grow up.

This isn't chemistry, it's flirting. Move on .

Someones reading mills and boon.

I was hoping for a juicier ending.

When people use this kind of dramatic OTT language about being attracted to someone, it's often because they are trying to justify the idea of having an affair with them (even if they don't yet intend to actually do so). Because obviously if the attraction is 'insane' and 'like nothing you've ever felt before', the obviously it's not reeeaaallly your fault if you succumb, is it.... You wouldn't be able to resist something that strong, etc etc.

Whereas in reality, you just fancy them and are in your fertile window.

That’s a bit of a reach,

You missed my point. The OP doesn’t have insane chemistry - her colleague does this to every female that isn’t gross. I’ve seen it before.

There’s a saying “don’t sh*t where you eat”.

Picture him sitting on the bog and yelling out for you to bring in some loo roll.

I agree with all of this.. I'd be devatsted if this happened to my OH at a plumbing convention or something, I'm not sure even mentioning it would be helpful? Just have a think about what you want from your relationship

I have but we were single and looking and we had our little thing but once we got to know each other’s personality and conflicting lifestyles better, then came the ick

Some good memories nevertheless

Keep busy and if a thought of him pops into your mind, stamp on it. He was looking for a fling and you fell for it.

@FatmanandKnobbin actual lol