What is the best excuse a friend has given you for not meeting up? I have a doozy.W

[CharlotteRumpling]

I have a friend who has told me she can't meet for a while because her 22 year old daughter has just started a Keto diet, and she needs to be at home to cook for her!

I feel slightly insulted that she could not come up with a better excuse not to meet! 😋

I'd do this....and im 35.
One event per day please.

I have a friend that can make Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner plans all with different people just in one Saturday.
It sounds exhausting to me.

She had to leave a bottomless brunch type thing with me and our friends in london at 5pm once a few years ago to make a 7pm dinner reservation with other friends in the arse end of Essex somewhere. She was absolutely mangled after the free flowing cocktails and the train travel was a mission.
Madness.

If I've got a brunch one day that's me done on plans for that day, you can't convince me otherwise 😅

Same here. I only have one spoon for social things, and once that is spent then I am done.

All
i can say. Is. LOL

This made me laugh so hard

@boombang

”There is a fox in my street that looks at me funny when I try to come out”

I now have tea all down my jumper - that one is particularly hilarious!

@TexaSun many dog owners and those close to them would cancel arrangements if their dog was seriously ill. A night out, even for a special even, isn’t as important as the life of a much loved dog.

Me too. There are lots of us!

With an evening out planned including having a table booked at a local Italian restaurant she rang me in the afternoon to say she couldn’t make it because she had a pile of ironing to do.
clearly she didn’t want to come out but she should have a better lie ready.

Not a friend but a colleague I worked with was late every single day for the 4 years I worked there and she always had the most random excuses

Some of the reasons that spring to mind

She met a dog so had to stop and pet it
She had to wash her hair
Her tv was broken
She stabbed herself with her earring
And every day for a fortnight her shower was broken so had to get a bath
And the classic the clock/all of the PC's/mobiles etc in the office were all at the wrong time

There is nothing you can do about a bird that has been bitten/scratched by a cat ... and wild prey animals do not appreciate human company when they are ill or dying.

Because England are playing

She isn't remotely interested in football at all. Knows absolutely sod all about it, doesnt watch it on telly, doesnt support a team, doesnt go to watch any live games. Not one bit bothered, even complains it takes up too much quality time with the boyfriend because he's such a big footy fan.

But because it was England playing, and her boyfriend really really loves football, she had to be there to support him.

And this wasn't to meet up as friends for a chinwag and a coffee. This is not just a friend but also a professional subcontractor who was due to work on a big job with/for me and left me to do it all alone

• because she had to support her boyfriend watching England play

Hmm, OK

Unimpressed is putting it very mildly. VERY fucking mildly.

A friend of mine had her wedding the day of that year's cup final and some of her 'closest friends' chose to go to the match instead. I'd have been raging, especially as I hate football.

Omg, that's awful.

I wouldnt have minded as much, but it's such a blatant fucking lie though. He wouldn't insist she had to stay with him to hold his bloody hand while he watched. He'll have been at the pub with all his other footy mad mates watching it on the big screen. He wouldn't in a month of Sundays want her there!

I just thought of another one.

One of my closest friends turned 40, and she wanted to keep it low key with the people who meant the most to her (she invited 5 of us), so booked a table at a restaurant. One did (understandably) cancel as he has severe anxiety.... nothing wrong with that.
One lady cancelled because she was going underwear shopping with her boyfriend instead. I mean, FFS, you can do that any time.

Bit darker than you're wanting probably but,

Husband's mother wouldn't come to baby's funeral because she "don't like that kind of stuff. Too depressing"

Really MIL? Your son had a blast with just me and my own family for support.

FIL wouldn't come because he "doesn't like travelling outside the village". It was the next town over and he would have been driven in our car there.

@RhubarbAndFlustered that is really grim 😔

tbf maybe if I had just come back from the gym/a run or hadn't had a shower since yesterday then I'd feel a bit smelly/sweaty to come for dinner?

In school a boy I knew told the teacher he hadn't brought his homework in because he'd been sick on it when he came home drunk from a party the night before...

Well, I have no words. I hope you're both NC with these cretins now. I'd never be able to forgive this. Ever.

I don’t want to meet up for lunch because I’ve got food in my fridge that I have to use up today so I’m having that instead

I don't often get caffeine overdose as I'm ADHD and have a high tolerance, but I went to a coffee festival and felt so ill several hours later. I was already out with friends at a pub but can't imagine I was the best company, I felt nauseous, shaky and had a terrible head. She would have been better to come to you and have some food and drink though, I treat it like a normal hangover and have some food to balance my stomach out a bit

Had a friend rushed to a and e from the GP with a suspected ruptured spleen that turned out to be constipation.

I have had moments where I ams truggling and overwhelmed and have found myself wanting to say something incredibly dumb ass like this and then thought, "hang on, this is a bigger problem".

Good point. Like the poster earlier who said someone cancelled because they ‘need to be still’- I actually say this all the time! So it would make perfect sense to me.

But I have M.E, fibromyalgia, hEDS and PoTS… so it’s short hand for “I’m dizzy, nauseous, exhausted and have a tremor. I need to lie down in a dark room with no noise and movement until it passes”

I have to make sure I actually explain what I mean to everyone outside immediate family or I would look odd too.

An ex friend would organise to pop round with her kids but wouldn't turn up. No message, no explanation when you next saw her and never an apology. Used to upset my child no end as has ASD , so would always have been told they were coming so they were prepared and then let down.
Would also turn up when she'd been told I wasn't free as i had visitors- and would just stay! meaning meals etc would have to be stretched to accommodate her and her kids and which would equally unsettle my child as not prepared they were coming and overwhelmed by too many guests.

In the end one of her children was especially awful to mine and she did nothing. She was enraged when I stopped being the consumate wet wipe and stopped being friends with her.

I got talking to a mum with a child the same age as mine who was new to the area (as was I) and we agreed to meet up in the park for a playdate the next day so our kids could play and we could chat...so I thought. She sent the nanny! I was really pissed off as the nanny 1) was 19 and had no interest in making friends and 2) we did not have any language in common. Her excuse was she was a busy entrepreneur and only socialized for networking purposes...obviously she had already discounted me!

Yep, I've only had it once in my life for a few days. It was pure agony