What is the best excuse a friend has given you for not meeting up? I have a doozy.W

[CharlotteRumpling]

I have a friend who has told me she can't meet for a while because her 22 year old daughter has just started a Keto diet, and she needs to be at home to cook for her!

I feel slightly insulted that she could not come up with a better excuse not to meet! 😋

Someone needed to leave early because their bread machine was due to finish cooking (or whatever they do) at a certain time. That’s the worst one they’ve come up with but there’s always some reason they can’t stay long.

I once had a team member who kept bees on the roof of his inner city apartment block. He rang in one day to say he was going to be late because the bees had swarmed and he had to go catch them in a box and rehome them! 🐝

I had an ambulance called for me once for pain that turned out to be constipation. I was lying on the bathroom floor crying in agony, I've never known pain like it and had no idea what was wrong with me.

One of my sixth formers sent me a Teams message on her way to college - “sorry im going be late to your lesson. saw a cat” with a photo of said cat

My DH's uncle informed us the day before our wedding (having accepted and looked up where the ceremony was, we'd booked a room for him to stay, all that jazz) that he wouldn't be attending because he would have to pay for parking - a whole £3.40. He'd already paid for the room.

Needless to say, FIL was furious. We gave the room to one of our friends instead.

one of my students could come to class one day because they had no shoes…
they worked part time in a shoe shop 😂

Oooh love these 😂😂

these are amazing!

Because it was the dogs naptime. Now she did agree to meet later in the day as she brings the dog everywhere but yes you heard me right, her dog has naptimes.

I'll add a couple I've used, both true and both real reasons I felt unable to work!

I burnt all my fingertips by holding onto a really hot plate, so didn't think I'd be able to type

Mitigating circumstances: my elderly aunt had heated the dinner plates in a too hot oven. I didn't realise this until she'd handed them to me. They were very expensive so i wasn't able to drop them and her tiny kitchen had no work surfaces free, so i had to walk them somewhere. All ten fingertips did have blisters which hurt and I had to sleep holding into frozen peas. I was fine by the following day.

My foot swelled up overnight and none of my shoes fit so i couldn't leave the house

Mitigating circs: I lived in a grotty part of London, taxi to work would have cost any the same as I was due to earn, plus I wouldn't have been welcomed into the office barefoot. In the end i borrowed a neighbour's giant flip flops to get to the GP and I had cellulitis which needed antibiotics quickly, so not being abket to put shoes on and ignore olit probably helped me

I also once made up that i had a wasps nest to contend with

Sorry I have to cancel - my other friend said she might pop round later.

There is a fox in my street that looks at me funny when I try to come out*

😂😂😂😂

"I do my hoovering on Tuesday afternoons"

This is brilliant! Not only an actual emergency (or even a fake emergency!) but very different from your run-of-the-mill emergency. 10/10

Apparently her mother has cancer so can't meet me at all anymore as she needs to be with her mum.

Cue pictures on fb of various outings and dinners with her new work mates and with her mum. Her mum, it turns out, doesn't have cancer, never had a scare, and is the picture of health.

There were lots of posts from the same friend about her undiagnosed ADHD but she completely blanks me when I mentioned my son's neurodiversity.

I've now deleted her from Facebook and WhatsApp because she's shallow and fake.

Agreed - it can be incredibly painful and you don’t want to be too far from your own toilet!

I was in agony with suspected appendicitis as a kid that turned out to be constipation.

One of my 6th formers didn't turn up for his class presentation. When I checked my emails after the lesson he had sent 'Sorry for being a 'no-show' today, I couldn't be bothered.'

Oh I like this thread OP. @AtomicBlondeRose that’s fair I love seeing a cat when I am out and about. It delays my progress as I like to fuss with them. I had to have a day off work when my beloved tabby died. I didn’t tell anyone that was the real reason I was off though. A friend had to stop off work because a seagull fell down her chimney and was trapped behind the gas fire. I also know someone whose DW wanted him to leave work early because the goldfish had died.

@SidekickSylvia at least he was honest 😂.

I once missed DDs Fun Run at school, arriving 10mins after it started (just as they finished)... as I had got stuck behind a learner driver in a tank.

This was actually true, and I wasn't the only one.

😂😂

Honest! 😂😂

We had a teacher once who had time off because her horse died. OK but she then had two weeks off. The second week she spent travelling to Ireland to pick up a new filly. As part of the grieving process.

I once called work to tell them I was going to be late because there was a huge worm in my porch.

To be fair I'm worm phobic and cannot step over them 😰 I had to call a friend to come, handed my keys through the window to her and she removed the offending worm to the garden, with her fingers 🤢🤢