What is your 'Sliding Doors' moment?

[bridgerbelle]

Defined as a seemingly inconsequential moment or decision that goes on to dramatically affects the trajectory of your life.

So what's something small that, if you went back and changed now, would result in you being a different person/living a different life?

If I had not got involved with my ex 1 my life would arguably have been "better". I have my oldest DS and he is a blessing but his father was a disaster zone and sabotaged my career. I had been bullied relentlessly as a teenager and felt grateful for the attention I think as I'd been told I was too ugly to date. Bit later there was a guy I could have dated but didn't. He is really successful now and looks amazing on his social media which I have not stalked. He could be unbearable as looks/success aren't everything but I will always wonder especially as he seemed nice too. I think I was so bruised from my ex that I ran a mile from anything that looked like a relationship. Sadly my eventual ex 2 was no better in the end either. Another one is not going travelling after A levels. Everyone convinced me not to as it wasn't safe, I wouldn't like it, it was a lot of money etc. I will never get the chance in the same way now and I regret not going while I had better health and freedom from other responsibilities. I think if I'd had that year to discover myself I may have resisted my ex's "charms" better so the two are actually linked.

My boss (CEO) couldn’t go to a Chamber of Commerce meeting in the county next door (we had a branch office there).

He said an email round asking if anyone wanted to go instead as it was around an important issue and he felt we had to show face.

I said I would, despite never having been there and my job area being in totally different work area.

Met DH at the coffees beforehand. Married 12 years this weekend.

I don't mean to sound dramatic here but there was a literal crossroads in my life about 13 years ago.

Back then I was a bit of a biker.
I'd discovered I was being cheated on, we'd split a few days before and I'd left on my bike.

i got to a traffic island near the M6 and stopped at the side of the road. If I'd joined the M6 and gone left, I'd have ended up in Scotland.
If I went right on the M6 I'd have gone to my home town and my family.
I wanted to go left, I rang my mum and she wanted me to go right.

I started my bike, put my helmet on..
And went right.

Well that lead me down a road where I got back in touch with an old flame, we got back together, got a house, had a kid...

If I'd gone left to Scotland... Who knows what would have happened.

Walking under that bridge in Los Cristianos on my first holiday away with friends aged 18. My best friend said hello to a couple of lads walking the other direction. Bumped into them later in night, one was very nice. 25yrs later we're happily married with 2 kids. If she had ignored them ( like I did😀), my life would have been so different.

My work catalyst was struggling with the traffic, I had asked my boss to change my hours from 8.30-5 to 8-4.30. He was new in the job and said no as didn't want to make waves with any other staff members. I found a better job closer to home. I'd been there 6yrs and they begged me not to leave. My new job has been excellent, I'm now earning double and have a very flexible wfh. They gave me a company car last year, I've been very lucky to find a good business. My old job had lots of replacements and couldn't stick to the huge workload I managed. My old company (it was a 100yr old business) got bought out 4yrs later and everyone they employed (big on loyalty and staff longevity, lots were 30yrs+) were made redundant. Awful times for my old colleagues. Thanks old boss for saying No to me, it was the best for me.

Years ago I booked annual leave to spend a week off with my awful, toxic boyfriend and rescheduled a training day I was meant to be on. Me and said-boyfriend broke up during that week as I found out he'd been cheating. Four months later I went on the rescheduled training day, ended up chatting to the guy next to me, who is now my husband

I wish I had never gone to that persons house that night, nearly 50 years ago

Not me but my grandmother.

Her niece was born one night during the Blitz, so my nan stopped off on her way to work to send a telegram to her BIL to tell him the news. An unexploded bomb exploded on the street where her office was about 10 minutes before she got there. Had she not stopped off to send that telegram she would potentially have died in 1940, eight years before meeting my grandfather and starting a family.

Was nursing a very badly broken heart after the supposed love of my life broke up with me. My friends dragged me out to a club but I just sat in a corner hating every minute. A ridiculously good looking bloke sat down next to me and told me I was too beautiful to be looking so sad. He actually managed to make me laugh for the first time in weeks. We've been very happily married for over twenty years now. So glad I let myself be dragged to that club.

Ex bf asked to meet me at the pub, totally out of the blue. I was a bit late getting there. These were the days before mobiles etc. Ex had literally just left the pub. I may have caught him if I had gone outside. Instead, I chatted to his mate who had also literally just turned up
I Ended up getting off with his mate who I ended up in a controlling and abusive relationship with for around 3 years. I was in v little contact with my ex and his 'mate' was more an enemy who used me to try to find my ex to get revenge on him.

This happened to me too! I'd been out with friends on the Friday night, couldn't really afford to go out on the Saturday; friend persuaded me, met my DH, it's our 25th wedding anniversary this year 😊

Overheard my ex saying to his friend that he was tired from the night before when he'd told me he'd had an early night. It was just a passing comment but it played on my mind to such an extent that I eventually checked his phone (sorry Mumsnet). Saw reams of messages from all the random hookups he was having. He had hidden it so well, sometimes I imagine what my life would have been if I'd never found out.

Many years ago, on a whim, I answered an email at work asking for people who might be interested in a new job role that would be based at the other end of the country from where I'd lived all my life - just in a vague 'oh, I'll see what that's all about' sort of way, not giving it much thought at all.

They were obviously desperate for people because a few weeks later I got a call that turned out to be an interview and a couple of months later, I relocated to take the job! I'm not far now from the point where I'll have lived more of my life in my present location than where I lived before, but I could just have easily have deleted that email and thought no more about it.

I have two :

When I was 21 I went for a graduate job at my university. Everyone said the same thing to me : You're the right candidate for this job but X will get it due to jobs for the boys and the relationship he has with the person with the final say.

My feedback was glowing but X still got the job. X was, very predictably, shite at the job and did substantial reputational damage to the role and his boss

It would have been a nice little gig that gave me some breathing space whilst I grew and figured myself out and I often wonder what would have happened if I had, instead I moved back home.

Second one, what would have happened if my mental health hadn't suddenly nosedived after I fell in love with someone perfect for me and due to my illness made colossal errors of judgment that destroyed any hope of it.

Not sure why I've particularly latched to in it, but I absolutely love this!..."my friend said hello to a couple of lads walking in the opposite direction"

This is the absolute stuff of glorious, young life...no idea where Los Cristianos is, but I bet those lads were absolutely delighted your friend had said hi...you can guarantee they were talking about you two all night...and then when they saw you later, wow!

Honestly, lots of nice little tales on here, but I love the little moment of this one...a tiny little bit of nothing, that's all it takes!

Believe it or not, My sliding doors moment ultimately goes back to someone, somewhere making a decision to start a weird bus route up that only lasted a couple of years ...that, coupled with a strange decision I took...99 times out of 100 I might have gone the other way, but I didn't and here we are...

Teenage me had had a row with my then boyfriend
I stomped off and bumped into another bloke-started dating him,fell pregnant and a long story short,ended up as a single mum as he was a deadbeat father
Best thing I ever did,having my baby (who's now an adult)

Years later,I was bored one night so downloaded a dating app just for something to do

Met my now dp-together 9 years and counting

At 23 I Popped in to Safeway to buy a bottle of wine on way to friend's house for dinner. In the shop I saw an advert for a room in a flat share on the For Sale/wanted board the rental was too expensive, but I phoned anyway, I met the 3 girls already living in the flat, and liked the room, the girls said that a student boy had the 5th room.
He's now my lovely DH of 21 years.

Drinking a bottle of gin on NYE 2004 because I was sad and lonely at a party. Resulted in very poor decision making, an unwanted pregnancy and an abortion for which I couldn't forgive myself. This utterly destroyed my MH for the next 15 years.

A medical condition I have was introduced to the heel prick test on the day I was tested for it. Only in my area and one other area as a pilot scheme. I would have had a very different life had it not been picked up then.

Great thread.

Convinced an ex boyfriend to apply for a job half way across the country, in a place neither of us had even visited before/had no friends or family there.

He got it, I moved with him and a short while later, I met DH.

Went on a date and decided he wasn't for me. Then felt bad and gave him another chance. Ended up pregnant in my final year of uni and he left me holding the baby after cheating on me. It limited what I could do. I could have seem the world if I hadn't made that choice to go back out with him.

If had broken up with my then boyfriend now my ex husband when we both knew it was not a good relationship. I would not have had my kids ( which I do not regret ) but I have no idea what my life would have been like .

Bumped into a uni acquaintance in a town I had just moved to for a new job. We became really good friends and I am now her sister in law as I met DH at her wedding.

I had mentally checked out of my marriage and was meant to be going away with work. I wasn't going to go as I thought I should maybe give our marriage another chance as only been married 4 years. ExH persuaded me to go.

Met my now DH. Been married 10 years and 2 beautiful girls. If I was still with ex he'd probably still be cheating and hitting me and I wouldn't have children.

My now DH has never lifted a finger to me and i can count on 1 hand the amount of arguments we've had in 10 years.

I applied for a working holiday visa for another country, but it got declined because my paperwork was incorrect, so I had to push my trip back while I sorted it out. While I was doing that a new guy started at work, and we've now been married ten years.

Dept of Health or Dept of Education jobs both offered to me 1980. Chose the former. Met someone. Moved in. Relocated. Met someone else. Had a baby with new man. That child has grown up (now 35) to be the love of my life. He’s just the most lovely person x