What "type" of person drives you crazy?

[ErikaReadsTheDailyMail]

I was describing a woman at work to my DH earlier, and he said "oh I know that type, I work with a guy like that".

For context, this "type" of person (Erika in fact, hence the username):

Thinks Farrage has got a few good ideas actually, and he will definitely be getting her vote.

Doesn't think women should return to work full time after maternity leave because focussing on your career and not your children is just selfish.

Thinks that the people in boats should "go back to where they came from" and "stop taking our jobs" but "no wonder they come here, with all the free handouts we give them" (simultaneously, apparently)

Relishes in other people's unhappiness and uses it as some kind of horrible gossipy currency, ever terminal illness.

Has gleefully welcomed her (feckless) poor darling adult son back home after a messy divorce because his wife has treated him so terribly and he never should have married her in the first place. She's hoping he'll go for full custody of his daughter so that her former daughter in law can't poison her further (metaphorically, I assume).

I know I should be bigger, but she's just such a caricature of bigotry she really gets up my nose. She epitomises everything I dislike, all rolled into one person.

I wondered if anyone has one individual who really sums up everything they dislike? Bonus points if you name them!

MIL and BIL both relate everything to themselves. Examples include:
A bad car crash locally where a young man was killed. BIL said that he was glad he taught his boys to drive, so that they wouldn’t have an accident.
MIL is in her 80’s. When anyone dies she has to compare them to herself, expressing pleasure that she has lived longer than them. Even Rob Burrows!
BIL always reacts to major disasters abroad by asking how many Britons were killed. If the answer is none - ‘Well that’s ok then’.

Insensitive people. I was the victim of one today and could barely get through my working day as a result.

Self-obsessed ‘Elevenerife’ types.

Nosey bastards.

Competitive undereaters.

Any variation of “I’m just honest me, I tell it like it is”

Loud "I'm mad me!" people who have to be the centre of attention. They tend to hate my guts as they can tell I'm not in awe of their craziness and don't lap up their bullshit.
Connected to people who share very personal information when you barely know them, who I find very creepy indeed.

People that complain about things that were all of their own making, ie having a second baby with the same guy them moaning how hard it and complaining that he’s useless - you knew that from the first child!

Or those that get with idiot men and march right past all the red flags and then wonder why he ‘changed’ for the worse…. He didn’t, you just failed to take heed.

People with a job title and that job title getting mentioned in every conversation..

The ones that give a running commentary on everything they're doing and things happening around them

Bus is late - I know, I'm standing beside you in the queue

Kettle is boiling - I can hear

I'm typing now - I'm literally sitting beside you, watching you hunt and peck

Gobshites.

People who are bossy.
People who are show-offs
People who talk absolute crap.
Aggressive drivers.

Lazy know-it-alls like my manager. She does barely any work, isn't even any good at delegating! We all work out for ourselves what needs doing and end up doing her job for her. But she loves to tell everyone how busy she is and how hard she works, while spending the day reading celebrity gossip and the news (I can see her screen).

Then she treats us as if we're stupid by man(ager)splaining the most simple parts of our job as if we don't know how to do them. Seems to think she is an expert at anything. For example, one of our team grew up in Italy and is bilingual but my manager will still eg tell her how to pronounce a word in Italian, or explain some Italian cultural norm to her. It's so cringe.

I can't tell if she genuinely thinks she knows more than anyone else and that she works hard, or she knows she's a bit dim and lazy so tries too hard to convince everyone (herself?) that she isn't.

She must know that I can see her screen and so I know she isn't busy but she still tells me how busy she is. Thankfully I wfh a lot these days otherwise I don't think I could take the frustration.

Those who, although English is their first language, seem incapable of speaking it without dropping aitches, constantly using glottal stops, double negatives and inserting 'like' into every sentence, as in "I was like..."

Those who are 'loud' and constant talkers.

Those who drink too much alcohol and think being drunk is funny, clever or aspirational.

Sports bores - especially football.

Anyone who's totally convinced that they're "just saying what everyone else is thinking", despite never, ever pausing for even one second to ask/listen to anything anyone else is thinking.

"Willy wavers" - mediocre white men who get far because they wear a suit and possibly a fancy watch, drive a fancy car and just walk around all tall and arrogant. The sort who got Bs and Cs for their GCSEs and don't know how to use an apostrophe. They usually have a job title that sounds fancy but doesn't actually require any qualifications. Eg "Property Consultant" or "Finance Executive". (As opposed to say, Solicitor or Accountant) I run into them both professionally and personally. All style, no substance.

People who unnecessarily reply all to emails

People who mock others for their regional accents
Looking at you @IDespairOfTheHumanRace

Fragile & Precious people:

• always moaning it's too cold in the office when it's hot enough to scandalise a sauna-keeper
• fussy about food (often competitive under-eaters)
• suffer from numerous vague maladies of the extremely minor variety requiring copious time off (usually only tolerated because they work in some pen-pushing civil service job which makes absolutely no difference to man nor beast)

To varying degrees all of the above.

But also, the quiet ones who never actually say anything with their mouths, but who can’t help but let their “Empty Vessels” contempt for everyone out through their facial expressions; breathing pattern; little twitches.
To be honest- you may as well just say it. Everyone around you knows that it is you would love yo say, but haven’t the guts to.

Smug people who think they are better than others.

Super competitive people.

Stale white males
women who need a man to make them complete
parents who do gentle parenting
women who let their husband / partner get away with slacking off constantly from any responsibility with the children because they earn less/ work less / don’t work
Retired women who brag about their holidays loudly in public areas
duck lipped wanna be kardashians who won’t go out on a date with a man unless it’s in Mayfair but will sell their sex for bags / shoes / holidays ! (Very sad how much it goes on!)

Entitled.

Over promoted.

People who proclaim self awareness but are oblivious to the fact they're the problem.

Managers who won't listen to their staff and think they're always right.

Useless HR.

People who describe themselves as if it's something special.
I'm an empath
I'm spiritual
I'm sensitive
I'm zany
I'm nurturing
Don't tell me what you are! I'll make my own decision about you from what I observe. But chances are you are just a regular person like everyone else.

Is Erika both my MIL and FIL?

Drama queens/kings

Can avoid in life but not at work, I hate that I'm forced into the role of talking them off the ledge otherwise we won't get the job done. Nothing can be done about this because they have (insert name of real or imaginary problem).

Those who hijack every conversation with long anecdotes that derails the topic.

And also…
practical jokers, banter meisters, unasked-advice-givers on topics they know nothing about (you really ought to try homeopathy…) and anyone, anyone who describes themselves as an empath.

They can all sod off. Ah, felt good getting that off my chest.

@TimeFor
I'm fairly sure she has enough opinions to be both!