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Original poster

URGENT arrested but we can’t get any information - what can we do?

145 replies

Moonbag · 10/06/2024 17:02

DP was called last night by his son to say he’s been arrested, he wasn’t able to say why. He’s called several times today for updates but they can’t/ won’t tell him anything. What on Earth is he supposed to do? Son has previous so he is worried he will be kept in but without knowing what he’s charged with we’ve no real idea. Please can anyone advise?

OP posts:
NewName24 · 10/06/2024 22:17

Any answers on here are just speculation.

Ask you dp to ask him.
If he won't tell his Dad, then his Dad can't really help him.

Original poster
Moonbag · 10/06/2024 22:18

Yes of course I will, I’m just trying to make sense of it all. DP is on his way to him now - he was a couple of counties away.

OP posts:
BMW6 · 10/06/2024 22:21

Perhaps they took him away from the area where a crime was committed so he couldn't influence or be influenced by others in that area..........

His Dad will have to come to terms with his son lying and hiding some truths.

Does his Dad - your DH - have form BTW?

inneedofaglowup · 10/06/2024 22:25

Moonbag · 10/06/2024 22:18

Yes of course I will, I’m just trying to make sense of it all. DP is on his way to him now - he was a couple of counties away.

Most likely he could have been arrested in one place but taken for questioning in another as that is where the investigation is. For example he was in the county he's been taken to as the county force there are investigating.

Original poster
Moonbag · 10/06/2024 22:27

Does my partner have a criminal record? Absolutely not, he’s one of the straightest people I know. His son has serious mental health issues which is not an excuse but an explanation.

If you mean is my partner a liar, again no - I trust him completely. We’re very ordinary people, this is not a world either of us has much experience of hence me asking for advice.

OP posts:
Original poster
Moonbag · 10/06/2024 22:28

@inneedofaglowup yes that makes sense

OP posts:
LimeandCourgette · 10/06/2024 22:33

Moonbag · 10/06/2024 22:13

It seems he was taken somewhere else - why would that be? Could it be that whatever he’s supposed to have done happened elsewhere so the police there deal with it?

It could be that he was arrested in another police force area. It could be that the local custody centre was full, it happens a lot at the moment, and they've taken him to the nearest one with spaces that would accept him.
Once again he is likely to know why he was there and not where you were expecting him to be.

sarahc336 · 10/06/2024 22:33

Yes he'll have been moved into the area that the investigation is taking place. So if you attack someone in Manchester but live in Liverpool then it's the Manchester police that want to speak to you

inneedofaglowup · 10/06/2024 22:34

Moonbag · 10/06/2024 22:28

@inneedofaglowup yes that makes sense

I hope your partners son is straight with you so you can help. Do ensure to check if there are any conditions to his bail so he adheres to them and your partner can ensure he does too. If he doesn't stick to the conditions he could be in more trouble. Let him know if he explains to you the circumstances of what has happened you'll be able to help him and get him the best legal advice. Any matter with the police is a very lengthy and draining experience. You just don't know how long you have to wait for a result or what is happening. Hoping things work out for you all.

IntriguingFactJumble · 10/06/2024 22:35

Moonbag · 10/06/2024 22:18

Yes of course I will, I’m just trying to make sense of it all. DP is on his way to him now - he was a couple of counties away.

Moon, I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. I have been through similar times.

At this time, with DP heading over to fetch his son, you're probably not going to hear much for a while. You may have it running through your mind in a mix of concern, anger, fear, sadness and so on. If that's close to true, I'd recommend a snack and a drink wirh the tv on something fun wih no crime in as you probably won't sleep yet. Whatever it is, you can't change anything tonight, so take care of yourself. Best of luck 💐

Jessica60 · 10/06/2024 22:50

He will know why he has been arrested and the police officer would not tell him not to tell anyone what he was arrested for. I'm guessing your husband knows but is too embarrassed to tell you.

whynotwhatknot · 10/06/2024 23:17

could be wanted in a differnt county for an offence that happene there so local pass him over to them

BMW6 · 10/06/2024 23:17

Moonbag · 10/06/2024 22:27

Does my partner have a criminal record? Absolutely not, he’s one of the straightest people I know. His son has serious mental health issues which is not an excuse but an explanation.

If you mean is my partner a liar, again no - I trust him completely. We’re very ordinary people, this is not a world either of us has much experience of hence me asking for advice.

Thanks for your straight up answer. Sadly his Dad is just going to have to wait and see - but please try and get him to see that his son is downplaying or just straight out lying about the charge

EdgeOfTheAbysssss · 11/06/2024 00:44

inneedofaglowup · 10/06/2024 22:34

I hope your partners son is straight with you so you can help. Do ensure to check if there are any conditions to his bail so he adheres to them and your partner can ensure he does too. If he doesn't stick to the conditions he could be in more trouble. Let him know if he explains to you the circumstances of what has happened you'll be able to help him and get him the best legal advice. Any matter with the police is a very lengthy and draining experience. You just don't know how long you have to wait for a result or what is happening. Hoping things work out for you all.

Show quote history

What? The man is an adult. OP or her DP don't need to check the arrested one's bail conditions and ensure he adheres to them, that's on him. OP has already said he "hurts" his dad, her DP, so I'm going to guess this man isn't the nicest person and that's why she doesn't have much sympathy. No way is she or DP obligated to baby him to ensure he doesn't get into more trouble. People need to take responsibility for themselves.

RawBloomers · 11/06/2024 03:40

Allthehorsesintheworld · 10/06/2024 17:32

He’s an adult. He will have been provided with a solicitor. Charged or released in 24 hours. Probably needs his dad to stand bail ?

This isn’t the US. In England virtually no one needs to “stand bail”. Only in a very few cases (e.g. Assange) is a monetary Surety/Security required and it needs a court to set it, the police do not have the authority.

cremebrulait · 11/06/2024 06:38

Nightowl1234 · 10/06/2024 22:16

I don’t think he is lying. I watched a programme recently (think it was 24 hours in police custody on channel 4) and when the arrested person was permitted a phone call, the custody sergeant standing next to them made clear that he was not allowed to tell his wife what he was arrested for. I think it’s so the person they are speaking to can’t do something to hamper the investigation.

I agree. I know my ex was arrested (though in France) and he was allowed a call but was not allowed to reveal why he was detained bc it could interfere with the investigation.

CandidHedgehog · 11/06/2024 08:05

Allthehorsesintheworld · 10/06/2024 17:32

He’s an adult. He will have been provided with a solicitor. Charged or released in 24 hours. Probably needs his dad to stand bail ?

Not really a thing in the UK. Occasionally, rarely a surety is taken at court but very uncommon these days.

inneedofaglowup · 11/06/2024 08:21

What? The man is an adult. OP or her DP don't need to check the arrested one's bail conditions and ensure he adheres to them, that's on him. OP has already said he "hurts" his dad, her DP, so I'm going to guess this man isn't the nicest person and that's why she doesn't have much sympathy. No way is she or DP obligated to baby him to ensure he doesn't get into more trouble. People need to take responsibility for themselves.

Regardless he's her partners son. Believe it or not people do still give a shit about their kids no matter their age and what they've done. Babying him won't help no but finding out these things does no harm and at least the father is aware of what's going on.

GentlemanJohnny · 11/06/2024 08:38

DP was called last night by his son to say he’s been arrested, he wasn’t able to say why.

Sorry, he's a liar. If he was arrested he will have been told why.

Original poster
Moonbag · 11/06/2024 08:45

Yes I think we’ve established he’s a liar, I’m not under any illusions. DP is just trying to do the right thing like any decent Dad would - son has made bad choices but it’s still his son and he’s trying to support him, he doesn’t have much from elsewhere. I’m less sympathetic but I respect his loyalty as long as he doesn’t condone whatever his son has done.

OP posts:
Nextdoor55 · 11/06/2024 09:05

Moonbag · 11/06/2024 08:45

Yes I think we’ve established he’s a liar, I’m not under any illusions. DP is just trying to do the right thing like any decent Dad would - son has made bad choices but it’s still his son and he’s trying to support him, he doesn’t have much from elsewhere. I’m less sympathetic but I respect his loyalty as long as he doesn’t condone whatever his son has done.

Sometimes they aren't allowed to say what it is they're under suspicion for, I mean he'll know but he's not allowed to say to anyone else.
Is there any update?

Original poster
Moonbag · 11/06/2024 09:14

Yes I think that’s probably it. It was late when DP picked him up so all I know is that he’s safe, we don’t live together so I’m letting him sleep this morning and will catch up later.

OP posts:
Miyagi99 · 11/06/2024 09:14

GentlemanJohnny · 11/06/2024 08:38

DP was called last night by his son to say he’s been arrested, he wasn’t able to say why.

Sorry, he's a liar. If he was arrested he will have been told why.

He will have been told why but he definitely may have been told not to repeat it while investigations are ongoing. For example, family could get rid of evidence, warn others involved etc etc

RB68 · 11/06/2024 09:47

I would contact the Police station and ask for details of his solicitor. If he has refused one (stupidly) then phone one of the local firms and get someone down there. He is entitled to representation and everyone innocent or guilty should use one. Just because he has form or has been arrested before don't assume its the same thing or that he knows what he is doing. You may then be able to at least speak to the solicitor about his well being, state of mind, and possibly the issues with sons permission etc.

Jadeleigh196 · 11/06/2024 11:12

There are lots of people on here calling the son 'a liar' but whether you're guilty or not its generally not wise to be spouting about details of an arrest in a busy police station where the police will be trying to find any evidence to pin it on you. Son can discuss details once he's released and not being listened to anymore. I know if it was me I'd be ringing my family to let them know I'm safe but keeping my mouth shut.