Do you have secret names for your neighbours?

[Cattery]

We have Dot Woman, Mattress Burner, Strangler and Trappy

@Grawlix I think I aspire to be the Farmers. A garden bar and serving drinks at dawn. Don't they have jobs? 😅

We have:
Stinky Pete
The Duchess
Pam & Mick (from Gavin and Stacey)

Mr and Mrs Party House
The fireman
Sue with the dog
Other Sue

Ours are tame compared to some of these 🤣

Hyacinth (or the clampets)
Sicknote
Dodgy Pete

We used to have 'the chav' and 'her brother'

She moved in (council-nothing at all wrong with a council house)

We are home owners (thanks to my inlaws) who'd lived here for about 6 years before she moved in

They moved in,claimed they where brother and sister (for benefit purposes) with their two dds (nicknamed dim and dimmer)

She started off all nice but soon caught onto the fact we keep ourselves to ourselves and she didn't like that

She tried to become the queen bee who had full say in who moved into 'her' street and who she could force out

3 households moved because of her (one family where of colour,the racist bitch made their lives hell,so they moved,another had a dog who she didn't like the look of,so again,next door forced them out-i dont know about the other) but we'd just laugh at her and shut the door,which she didn't like so took to going round the houses telling everyone we where violent,kept banging on her door,just to scream at her (we never knocked on her door) and would complain if we sat in our garden,had visitors or hung washing out

We just ignored the lot of them and carried on with our lives

She then set her house on fire (by mistake!) and moved out

She set up a gofundme (£2k limit but has got less than a quarter),has had the nerve to moan we've not paid 'only £50' into it and is squealing even louder (in the papers) that the council haven't given her a new,big,shiny house within a few days of the fire

The other side is 'the new neighbour'-nice polite family who seem lovely

Guarantee someone reading this, or who has responsed to it, has been mentioned on here, they just don’t know it, 😂

Them at number 1
Isa
Tha weirdo next door
Linda
Him that works with T

We have houses either side of us which consists of Old Baldy, Young Baldy (father & son) and Long Baldy (unrelated). Its a very effective naming structure:
"Long Baldy is finally bringing their bin in"
"Young Baldy was screaming at the football again"
"Did you see Old Baldys' car has been scratched?"

I'm married to a Big Baldy...maybe there's something in our water 😋

Godzilla
Leather Face
The Sweeps
Drug dealer
Caveman

Talking to my Mum about this thread, she reminded me that growing up we had:

The Chins: He had a prominent chin and was very cruel to their pet rabbits that the neighbours had to call the RSPCA who actually took the rabbits away.

Mavis Cruet: looked like Mavis Cruet from Willi the Wisp
she was married to:
René: looked like Rene from AlloAllo

Seagull Steve: always walked from work eating from a bag of chips.

The Flumps: lived with their Grandpa.

Not sure what we would’ve been called. Probably Trigger and family as my Dad looked like Trigger from Only Fools.

Shouty woman - always shouting at her kids
People who live at Mr G*s - Mr G was a lovely old man who moved years ago
Car man - whatever the hour he'll be out there moving his car as close to his house as he can. It's never more than 3 or 4 cars away.
The empty house - DP swears people live there but I don't believe him.
Stabby man - snapped and stabbed a child's football last year
*'s dad - known him for years but never quite caught his name. Even went to his son's wedding. Too late to ask now.
Weird woman on the end (of terrace)

Love this thread!

We have "fuck off (name of neighbour)" as she is always Whatsapping us about something or another we have done (or not done). She's even in our phone as "fuck off (name).

She probably has us down as "the fuckers who don't respond to my Whatsapps".

We also have "motorbike guy" - washes his bike a lot. Sometimes rides it.
Mr Car Wash
The tree surgeon.
Couple with the baby (baby is now 2 but until they moved in our kids were the only kids on the road).

Yep, The Starkeys and Vinegar Tits.

We have "SuperDad" (bores anyone who'll listen with lengthy monologues about his equally irritating kid) and "Two Car Tango (shuffles his cars around to prevent anyone parking on the road outside his house - highly successful strategy as we've been here 11 years and I've NEVER seen another car take his spot).

Dead cat man
Mad spaniel lady
Dungaree Diana
The shuffler

We had Dick Emery and Mrs chippy at our old house. At the caravan we’ve got Peter Polish - he was always polishing his car. Someone thought he was called Pete and said it to his face! Currently don’t have so many nicknames other than that bastard next door!

We have ;

The Portuguese (they aren't but the people who sold them the house were Portuguese and so they inherited the name)

The lady with the daughter

Dickhead next door

The lady who watches Bridgerton

The people with the dangerous dogs (not dangerous- two gorgeous little Norwich terriers who are just licky and smiley and cute)

There's a lot of Clampitts about!

I've remembered a couple more.

The Owt For Nowts
Jail Bird
Abusive Prick
Wicked Witch of the West (old woman on a bicycle who I've known since I was 12 who never speaks, just looks me up and down)
Darby and Joan
The Snail Crusher

Various neighbours get called generic names like cunty chops and knacker Dan when they piss me off. (Always blokes, usually involving endless revving of vehicles or infinite fucking power washing)

In the past we’ve had Miss World. A girl that always seemed to have different blokes after her.
When I was a kid: Banana nose for the bloke next door
The Sun Tan Kid for a bloke that used to live opposite when I lived at the coast
The Mad Tomato : face all red from booze

Mr OCD who uses a nailbrush to clean bird poo off his drive and dries his garage door with a t towel after it has rained.
The other side is known simply as the “Bitch”.
Other than that they are all fairly normal families like us. We did think we were the odd ones until newer neighbours moved in and are happy to be on just nodding terms.
Mr OCD’s latest odd behaviour is to clean his car windows with a tissue then throw it on our garden. I have a ring doorbell so we know it’s him. This is just one of a long list of weird behaviours.
He also uses a hand pump to pump up his tyres every Sat morning at 6.59am. We now have new double glazing so it doesn’t bother us anymore. He does use a small scraper to clear the frost off every mm of his car windows even if he isn’t planning to use his car.
He is nosy but the plus side is that he never goes on holiday and leaves the house twice a week. So is our neighbourhood security.

When I was a child, there was Shouty Lady a few doors down.

I think she was Maltese (no idea how I know this?) but was best known for her epic shouting at her sons from her front step.

We also have:

Me and Mrs Retired Chemistry lecturer.
Grumpy cow with lovely husband
Trekkie weirdo
Me Nice Man
Me and Mrs Minted (always having stuff down to their house)

Dog shit woman
Foxtons Wanker
Crosspatch and Crosspatch’s husband
The Considerably Richer Than Yoooo family

We have Gru and his other half Juicy (you can imagine what she wears) live opposite.
I have in the past been known by the neighbours as Mrs William, (the name of my very sociable cat)
Mrs Fourboys (self explanatory)
A lady round the corner told me her husband refers to me as Mrs Allweathers cos I walk my neighbours dog in all weathers😄

The Swingers
Peeping Tom
The Bossy One also know as The Miserable One
The Car Washer