Do you have secret names for your neighbours?

[Cattery]

We have Dot Woman, Mattress Burner, Strangler and Trappy

We have Ned Flanders, Cruickshanks (DH meant “Filch”, but doesn’t know his Harry Potter characters, so the other name stuck), Gingernuts & Jamazon.

This thread is brilliant. We have:

Mr and Mrs dickhead (collectively known as the dickheads)
captain carwash
Range Rover twats
sausage legs

My parents have a few really good ones:
the demon headmaster
takeaway Tina
Lardy Len
The gypsies
the ganja brothers
the beckhams
old bag on the corner
Me-again Markle and her husband jabba the hut (the man has 5 sheds)

We have Christmas lady, conspiracy couple and fat daughter

We have:
Piers Morgan - (it isnt) who always asks questions but then never lets us answer them but fills it all in himself.

Karen - Who crosses to the other side of the road if if she sees my black dh. She also put her phone in her pocket when my 11 (💔) year old walked past her. Look, Karen, we don't want any of your stuff. Idiot.

Earthwire Jim and Sadsack - a couple

Sausage legs! 🤣🤣🤣

@Gatekeeper

Hie did ‘Arseonbackwards’ get his name?!

Thr mind boggles🤨

just an educated guess.

We had the 'alrights'
Lived next door for 4 years and in all of that time only ever said 'alright' in response to morning, evening salutations from all of us. Mr & Mrs Alrigjht and Alright Jnr.

Howard & Hilda
The Clap Police
Mad Sharon
Scary Fuckers

I forgot one; Mr Shuffles

Here we have an 'Elmer' as in Elmer Fudd.

It took us about 4 years to find out his real name and it's hard to remember not to call him Elmer to his face!

Everyone else is either known by their name, or the name of the kid they are parent to!

We used to have Rhubarbara (Barbara who would leave veg from her allotment for us) and Alan Shera ( Alan and Shelia and they loved football). Lovely neighbours, new neighbours are all fine but not as lovely as the old ones.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow person concerned has an absolutely flat non existant backside and a big, sticky out stomach!

So funny😁

One side I have plenty of names for...
Door knobs - they are always opening and closing doors loudly.
Lazy mares - They can't be bothered to walk their dog properly/very far. They're often carrying said dog. The ladies are around all day, every day.
Fog horn Fanny, Fog horn Fred, and friends - Yes, they talk so loudly, you could hear their conversation a mile away.
Law breakers - like to drive illegally at times.
Parking space hoggers - They have 2 work vehicles, and 4 cars parked in spaces that aren't just reserved for them. They act like they belong to them though.

Dressing gown lady - Who is often wearing a dressing gown in the afternoon outside.
Those idiots, whatever country they're from - They speak in their own language loudly.
Shouldn't have pets - They wind their dog up, and don’t care how long/loud their dog bark for. Plus, recently they have got 2 budgerigars which they sat outside on a warmer day for hours, on a roof, and under a window pane of glass.
I probably call them more depending on how annoying they are...

There's also another dressing gown lady down the road.
Can't parkers - Lots of our neighbours park ridiculously.
Speedy Gonzales - Person who particularly loves to drive too fast on our 20mph road.
Summer party pains - The neighbour mum on other side who goes away occasionally, and their son/or daughter have friends round, play music and sing out of tune, get rowdy/drunk etc. 'til silly o'clock at night/morning.
I am sure I probably have some names for others too, but generally the others aren't so annoying.

yes we call their strange children the children of the corn, as they have weird staring eyes 😱

Also rude lady..whenever I see her she asks if we’ve been away because it’s been so quiet. Rude!

We have foghorn leghorn and the master manipulator and the rest of the neighbours are lovely.

Great thread, I agree!

Fortunately, the Stabby Lads were moved on 10 years ago. We'd only been in the house a few days, I was just taking the dog out and two topless lads spilled out of a (halfway / probation hostel) house, covered in blood and stabbing each other.

A few days later, another pair were at it, although I was lucky enough to miss that one.

All the neighbours complained and we only get superannuated burglars, with boot polish and darning needle tattoos.

Conspiracy Steve, thinks Trump is great, the Jews control everything, the Government has a plan to put secret cameras in everyone's toilets...

Oh Fuck It's Dawn. The bane of all dog owners. She goes out with pockets full of biscuits and feeds everyone's dogs, calls to them from across the road, is a malicious busybody and gossip.

haha this thread is hilarious. We had the clampets, Mr Clampett always looked like a tramp. One night, around 9.30pm my front door went - I answered the door (DH was out.) All I saw was a tramp stood at my door wearing a skanky beanie hat. I panicked and slammed the door shut. Then I heard '"Lights, it's me Mr Clampett, I've got your cat's collar here I found it in my garden"

Hahaha I felt bad but I literally shat myself when I saw him stood there thinking I was about to get murdered or something by a trampy stranger.

All the names are fab! Don’t we put up with some shit, eh x

Parker (looks like puppet from
Thunderbirds)

Putin - (looks like him and is a nasty git)

Chockall (big tubby useless male neighbour)

High class escort (young attractive woman, owns expensive large house where she lives alone- goes out at night with large hold-all looking very glamorous)

The poles (Polish couple , we don’t know their names only that they are Polish)

The druggies (obvious reasons )

One side is "the Indian family", as that is what they are.
The other is "Gossip", because that is all she does.,

Like most parents, our neighbours are known as X's mum and Y's dad.

We do have a few 'wankers' in our street though.