How would you handle this - DD called DS a ‘little shit’

[Fantina]

Took the DC on a much awaited (and expensive) treat night and had a lovely time. As we left the venue they were pushing and shoving each other and the pavement was busy with pedestrians so I told them both off and told them to stop it and not to spoil the evening.

Teen DD refuses to let anything drop with DS and she doubles down and says he was an ‘arrogant little shit’. I told her to apologise to him as I’d asked them both to stop and she’d carried it on. She refused despite him apologising to her for his part in the shoving.

Now I’m upset that both of them can’t behave and that DD not only called him that out of nowhere but that she doesn’t respect me enough to drop things when I ask so our time out doesn’t get marred.

Would you just have let this comment slide? I don’t think it is acceptable and it’s like she backs me into a corner of needing to address his tone and language towards him.

Some of the comments on here must be a joke its sounds like normal teens ive heard much worse and said much worse.
Some parents need to get a grip and stop this bubble wrap parenting crap.

I hate to admit it but that probably counts as a good day out with my kids.

I’m wondering if you ever cut her some slack? It must be awful to be a teenage girl and have your little brother be the golden child who gets the attention and then when she overreacts over something trivial she’s the one castigated as ruining mummy’s ‘lovely family day’ out. Ugh I can already imagine her planning her escape to a uni far, far away.

Where is this narrative coming from - that DS is the golden child and DD gets no attention? I don't understand why everyone's saying this. Both kids were told off. OP was there, she knows what happened. Maybe, just maybe, the daughter was actually the one misbehaving the most. I know it's hard for some people to believe.

Just look at the title of the thread. DD needs to be ‘handled’ for doing something the majority of people on here who actually have teenagers have said was no big deal.

@SallyWD have you read any of the ops posts? Ds pushing dd is of.course 'an accident' and dd shoves him... ds is also being praised by the OP for doing what he does to the dd out of sight, and the dd is in the wrong for getting seen.

But maybe that's actually what happened? Maybe DS's push was an accident and maybe DD did shove him? OP was there, she probably knows better than us.
I have a teenage DD with a younger brother. Yes DS can be an annoying little brother sometimes and I'll always tell him off for bad behaviour. Other times DD behaves badly - like the other day, DS was walking ahead minding his own business when DD launched a stick at his head for no reason! It really hurt him.
I love my children the same. I have no golden child. I'm also intelligent and objective enough to know when one child's behaviour is worse than the others. Sometimes DD's, sometimes DS's. Perhaps in this one isolated incident the DD's behaviour was far worse. It doesn't mean the OP always sides with her son. We have no idea! A lot of assumptions are being made.

I would sharply pull up my DC for speaking to each other this way I front of me.

I'm in no doubt they have said much worse out of my ear shot, but they know perfectly well not to speak like that in front of me, or grandparents or teachers.

Posters who say it wouldn't bother them explains a lot about certain teens behaviour.

It really doesn't explain 'a lot of teenagers behaviour' though.
My children are intelligent enough to know that just because they (mildly) swear at each other it doesn't mean they can swear at a teacher etc.
I know I can swear when I am with friends, it doesn't mean I am going to tell the CEO of the company I work for to fuck off over a morning coffee!
All this explains is that some teenagers are aware of appropriate behaviour and some are not. Swearing at home has nothing to do with it.