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CF allotment thief thread no 4 - Babs’s dodgy solicitor and TV producers looking to cast for the role of Penfold?

990 replies

YaMuvva · 09/05/2024 15:24

New thread! Last one was here
www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5049200-cf-allotment-thief-part-3-the-plot-thickens-and-auditions-begin-for-the-west-end-musical?page=38&reply=135136744

So a quick update.

DH dropped me off for my surgery this morning then dropped the kids at school before heading to the allotment. Babs was there gardening as were some other people on their own plots. All her crap was still there

DH went up and reminded her that she needs to be off the plot by the 20th. She said that she is awaiting advice from her solicitor to see if she can challenge us. She also said if the solicitor says she has to be off, she will be gone by the 20th but isn’t giving it up without checking if she has rights first. She did a fair bit of guilt tripping to DH about how she has spent 10 years being part of a community and having a hobby and she now has to give it all up but he held strong and told her, unless she comes back with a legitimate legal claim her property will be off the allotment by the 21st - wether it’s removed by her or by him.

However - enter Penfold stage right

Penfold is what we are calling the allotment neighbour who marched over from the other side of the plots (because that’s who he looks like). He started shouting at DH saying “You’re a bully! Fancy picking on an old lady and taking her allotment off her after all her years of hard work”. He pointed out it’s his allotment now and Penfold said that “just because your name is on a piece of paper it doesn’t give you the right to steal it off it’s rightful owner”. He then start saying “What do you know about gardening pretty boy? These allotments should be for real gardeners not pretty boys like you”

When DH told me this I laughed so hard I thought my stitches may burst 😂 DH IS very pretty but he’s also mid-40’s and hasn’t been called pretty in many many years. We are in semi-rural Yorkshire though and a man wearing a top that isn’t either blue black or white is considered a feminine.

When DH stated he does actually know about gardening, Penfold was all “Yeah right yeah right all you know about is putting your make up on” 🤣🤣 and said how these allotment owners have been around for decades he can’t just barge in and kick people out. DH said he was half expecting Penfold to say “this is a local allotment for local people”.

Then it was BABS of all people who told Penfold to STFU. Not quite those words but she said “oh do calm down Nigel”. The other plot owners just kept their heads down apparently. DH took off in the end but he is considering buying a Danger Mouse t-shirt to wear when he gardens. I’ve told him I can help him apply his make up 😂.

Anyway Babs’s words don’t exactly fill me with confidence but it’s better than flat out refusing to leave I suppose. I’m absolutely confident that legally she hasn’t a leg to stand on, but that doesn’t mean some dodgy solicitor won’t claim otherwise for a bit of easy money off her. Either way unless there is a claim that has legs (highly unlikely) DH will be round on the 21st to set up his stuff. PP were right about insane allotment owners - but we are just gonna have to lump it and not let Penfold ruin our time there.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
MissMoan · 10/05/2024 19:44

Once again..... Babs has officially lost the plot.
And Penfold and the Plot Posse seem to be best 'buds'.
I hope you get to the 'root' of the problem soon OP, and old Babs gets 'turfed' out.

Maroonedjam · 10/05/2024 19:52

YaMuvva · 10/05/2024 19:28

For fucking fuck sake

I went for a snooze earlier and missed a call from my conveyancing solicitor - they left me a voicemail (at 16.55! Who does that!) they have an update on the Sally situation.

I now have to wait until Monday til they open again.

Im annoyed at having missed the call so I’m afraid you lot will have to endure the suffering with me😂

Oh no, how will we cope?

WiddlinDiddlin · 10/05/2024 19:55

Oh that IS infuriating!

A whole weekend for MN to speculate on what they wanted to tell you... MN may implode!

Missscentsation · 10/05/2024 19:59

Ooh, who to play the pretty husband?! 🙋‍♂️

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 10/05/2024 20:02

Next time Penfold calls your DH 'pretty boy' he needs to reply "You think I'm pretty?" like Cher in Clueless. That ought to properly freak him out. Grin https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Bso5kDET9BE

Before you continue to YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Bso5kDET9BE

Maroonedjam · 10/05/2024 20:07

Perhaps we could write poems about it to pass the time.

YaMuvva · 10/05/2024 20:16

RamblingAroundTheInternet · 10/05/2024 19:23

I know it’s done now but I wouldn’t have given the CFer 28 days to vacate. End of May is quite late for growing anything decent for summer. 7 days would have been generous enough. She knew the property was being sold months before I imagine.

I’d be concerned she’s got time to damage the soil so you won’t be able to grow anything (put loads of salt down or something).

If she didn’t have her own large garden, I could kind of understand why she wants to keep it but that was between her and the previous owner before the property was put up for sale.

She obviously wanted to keep her own garden nice and neat and use someone else’s property for free for her hobby.

I wouldn’t be at all surprised from her behaviour now, when she knows full well that she has no right or business using your allotment but hasn’t left, that she strong armed the elderly lady who used to own it into giving it to her but without offering to pay for legal ownership or to rent if off her. As soon as she knew the property was being sold, any normal person would have offered to buy it or accept that they could no longer use it and remove their stuff, not just expect the new owner who is a complete stranger to let them have the use of their land for free. Absolutely batshit!

Can she even prove she owns the shed and it wasn’t there before she started using it? Receipts etc?

Can you fence the plot OP? As I wouldn’t be surprised if you have loads of issues with plants being ripped up, dog fouling etc, after she’s gone and she sounds the type who will cause a massive fuss when the date to leave comes around.

Your name will be mud in the neighbourhood for sometime too although I’d say the people on her side are just as bad as her.

Its extreme but I’d think about seeing if the local paper might be interested in running a story about the allotment squatter so you can get your side across to negate the bad blood she and her friends are probably spreading about you.

Yes we’ve plotted the fence posts, taken soil samples and have loads of pictures. DH is gathering all he needs for the 21st to start his dream plot, like a pretty boy preparing for war 🤣

OP posts:
YaMuvva · 10/05/2024 20:18

PrettySenior · 10/05/2024 19:30

Sounds like Barb's friends on the allotment won't make it easy on your DH. What a difficult situation all around.

DH is actually gentle but he won’t be bullied - he openly laughed when Penfold tried to insult him which I think is the best way.

He also forgot to tell me Penfold made fun of his Scottish accent, as in replied back to him in a cod Scottish accent. Prick.

OP posts:
DeanElderberry · 10/05/2024 20:26

Oh dear. I'd ask whether Penfold is really stupid or whether he has a death wish, but I suppose they are not mutually exclusive.

YaMuvva · 10/05/2024 20:27

HappiestSleeping · 10/05/2024 19:31

It is what it is. That's what alcohol is for. Are you able to partake in your weakened state? I hope your husband is mopping your furrowed brow.

Sadly I cannot as in some pretty strong painkillers and antibiotics.

I’ll use my MN addition to cope 😂

OP posts:
YaMuvva · 10/05/2024 20:31

Can I propose the ever so pretty Nesta Carbonell to play DH - he isn’t as pretty as Nesta but he has the black hair and the easily tans and Nesta looks like he wears eyeliner so that ticks the pretty boy box

CF allotment thief thread no 4 - Babs’s dodgy solicitor and TV producers looking to cast for the role of Penfold?
OP posts:
HappiestSleeping · 10/05/2024 20:35

YaMuvva · 10/05/2024 20:27

Sadly I cannot as in some pretty strong painkillers and antibiotics.

I’ll use my MN addition to cope 😂

In that case, I will have a few extras on your behalf. 🍻🍻

LadyThistledown · 10/05/2024 21:31

OP I admire both your sense of humour and taste in men. I'm no comedian myself but a sucker for beautiful eyes... my DH has long, thick lashes and yes, looks like he wears eyeliner!
Waiting for the latest installment of this drama

WickedSerious · 10/05/2024 21:33

YaMuvva · 10/05/2024 19:28

For fucking fuck sake

I went for a snooze earlier and missed a call from my conveyancing solicitor - they left me a voicemail (at 16.55! Who does that!) they have an update on the Sally situation.

I now have to wait until Monday til they open again.

Im annoyed at having missed the call so I’m afraid you lot will have to endure the suffering with me😂

I'm annoyed too,the weekend is going to draaaaaag.

AwBlessm · 10/05/2024 21:34

YaMuvva · 10/05/2024 19:28

For fucking fuck sake

I went for a snooze earlier and missed a call from my conveyancing solicitor - they left me a voicemail (at 16.55! Who does that!) they have an update on the Sally situation.

I now have to wait until Monday til they open again.

Im annoyed at having missed the call so I’m afraid you lot will have to endure the suffering with me😂

What?!?!? Sleeping on the job? We need our info! 😄

Atethehalloweenchocs · 10/05/2024 22:30

NOOOoooo = we need the update from the solicitors!!!! In the meantime, can I suggest you coach DH in the words and tune of 'I feel pretty' from West Side Story and insist he whistle it whenever working on the allotment?

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 10/05/2024 22:48

@YaMuvva I would not put it past babs and sally to miraculously come up with a bill of sale in babs's favour regarding the allotment, signed last night!! alas, it would still be illegal as the land registry has not been updated to show this! this is perhaps what babs meant when she stated to your hubby she was waiting to hear from her solicitor!

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 10/05/2024 22:53

@YaMuvva He also forgot to tell me Penfold made fun of his Scottish accent, as in replied back to him in a cod Scottish accent. Prick. thats it then!! I am coming down to england to jump in for the scotsman!!! no having this! 😂

WearyAuldWumman · 10/05/2024 23:14

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 10/05/2024 22:53

@YaMuvva He also forgot to tell me Penfold made fun of his Scottish accent, as in replied back to him in a cod Scottish accent. Prick. thats it then!! I am coming down to england to jump in for the scotsman!!! no having this! 😂

I'm in.

I have a rusty camper van. We could round up a team of Scottish Mumsnetters and be oer the border by morning.

Here's tae us! Wha's like us? Damn the few an they're aa deid!

WearyAuldWumman · 10/05/2024 23:14

Whoa. Wait a minute...OP's DH has a Scottish accent...This changes the casting!

Ewan McGregor?

WearyAuldWumman · 10/05/2024 23:17

Speaking as someone who is proud to have been married to a Scottish trooper, I'd say that Penfold is on dangerous ground. The first stage, in my experience, is for the DH to laugh at gormless fools...

pollymere · 10/05/2024 23:18

I'm hoping you'll get the answers you need on Monday but "a hideous curse on your solicitor" that they rang you last thing on Friday with an intriguing voicemail.

KateDelRick · 10/05/2024 23:21

In my head the OP and her husband look and sound like Hyacinth Bucket and her husband Richard. Babs is the neighbour, Elizabeth.
I imagine the OP always wears a hat and gloves!

OVienna · 10/05/2024 23:24

KateDelRick · 10/05/2024 23:21

In my head the OP and her husband look and sound like Hyacinth Bucket and her husband Richard. Babs is the neighbour, Elizabeth.
I imagine the OP always wears a hat and gloves!

WTF

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 10/05/2024 23:42

@YaMuvva team scotland! we all have to appear at the allotment on 21st May at 0001am!!