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CF allotment thief thread no 4 - Babs’s dodgy solicitor and TV producers looking to cast for the role of Penfold?

990 replies

YaMuvva · 09/05/2024 15:24

New thread! Last one was here
www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5049200-cf-allotment-thief-part-3-the-plot-thickens-and-auditions-begin-for-the-west-end-musical?page=38&reply=135136744

So a quick update.

DH dropped me off for my surgery this morning then dropped the kids at school before heading to the allotment. Babs was there gardening as were some other people on their own plots. All her crap was still there

DH went up and reminded her that she needs to be off the plot by the 20th. She said that she is awaiting advice from her solicitor to see if she can challenge us. She also said if the solicitor says she has to be off, she will be gone by the 20th but isn’t giving it up without checking if she has rights first. She did a fair bit of guilt tripping to DH about how she has spent 10 years being part of a community and having a hobby and she now has to give it all up but he held strong and told her, unless she comes back with a legitimate legal claim her property will be off the allotment by the 21st - wether it’s removed by her or by him.

However - enter Penfold stage right

Penfold is what we are calling the allotment neighbour who marched over from the other side of the plots (because that’s who he looks like). He started shouting at DH saying “You’re a bully! Fancy picking on an old lady and taking her allotment off her after all her years of hard work”. He pointed out it’s his allotment now and Penfold said that “just because your name is on a piece of paper it doesn’t give you the right to steal it off it’s rightful owner”. He then start saying “What do you know about gardening pretty boy? These allotments should be for real gardeners not pretty boys like you”

When DH told me this I laughed so hard I thought my stitches may burst 😂 DH IS very pretty but he’s also mid-40’s and hasn’t been called pretty in many many years. We are in semi-rural Yorkshire though and a man wearing a top that isn’t either blue black or white is considered a feminine.

When DH stated he does actually know about gardening, Penfold was all “Yeah right yeah right all you know about is putting your make up on” 🤣🤣 and said how these allotment owners have been around for decades he can’t just barge in and kick people out. DH said he was half expecting Penfold to say “this is a local allotment for local people”.

Then it was BABS of all people who told Penfold to STFU. Not quite those words but she said “oh do calm down Nigel”. The other plot owners just kept their heads down apparently. DH took off in the end but he is considering buying a Danger Mouse t-shirt to wear when he gardens. I’ve told him I can help him apply his make up 😂.

Anyway Babs’s words don’t exactly fill me with confidence but it’s better than flat out refusing to leave I suppose. I’m absolutely confident that legally she hasn’t a leg to stand on, but that doesn’t mean some dodgy solicitor won’t claim otherwise for a bit of easy money off her. Either way unless there is a claim that has legs (highly unlikely) DH will be round on the 21st to set up his stuff. PP were right about insane allotment owners - but we are just gonna have to lump it and not let Penfold ruin our time there.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
a222 · 10/05/2024 23:43

how old is babs

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 10/05/2024 23:46

@YaMuvva For fucking fuck sake

I went for a snooze earlier and missed a call from my conveyancing solicitor - they left me a voicemail (at 16.55! Who does that!) they have an update on the Sally situation. that is typical of all solicitors!!! my hubby is a legal man but every single bloody christmas eve or public holiday eve they email an urgent job at 2 minutes to closing but when you phone them immediately , they have locked up and gone to the pub and we have to do the job immediately!!!

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 10/05/2024 23:49

@WearyAuldWumman Whoa. Wait a minute...OP's DH has a Scottish accent...This changes the casting!

Ewan McGregor? nah not him!! dont like his mum!! can anyone reincarnate sean connery????

WearyAuldWumman · 10/05/2024 23:51

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 10/05/2024 23:49

@WearyAuldWumman Whoa. Wait a minute...OP's DH has a Scottish accent...This changes the casting!

Ewan McGregor? nah not him!! dont like his mum!! can anyone reincarnate sean connery????

It would have to be a younger Connery with toupee. The smile would certainly work.

Oh, wait...How about Dougray Scott?

YaMuvva · 11/05/2024 01:32

Some good Scottish actors were suggested in the last thread, I’ll have to look it up! My only stipulation that no one is to mention David Tennant or James McAvoy. They’ve been done to death, they are banned from my auditions 🤣🤣

And yes silly Penfold messing with a Scottish ex forces, he’s got balls I’ll give him that!

OP posts:
AnCùDubh · 11/05/2024 02:02

Scottish actor who hasn't been done to death?
Pretty?
Dark?
Could rock eyeliner?

Richard Madden, maybe?

YaMuvva · 11/05/2024 02:05

Is Richard Madden the chappy with the grey wisps through the front of his hair?? DH has those!

OP posts:
AnCùDubh · 11/05/2024 02:31

YaMuvva · 11/05/2024 02:05

Is Richard Madden the chappy with the grey wisps through the front of his hair?? DH has those!

This guy

CF allotment thief thread no 4 - Babs’s dodgy solicitor and TV producers looking to cast for the role of Penfold?
DanFmDorking · 11/05/2024 02:59

I own a small allotment. Every night someone throws soil on top of it.
I don't know why.

The plot thickens.

sashh · 11/05/2024 05:37

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 10/05/2024 23:42

@YaMuvva team scotland! we all have to appear at the allotment on 21st May at 0001am!!

May I join you with a division (no idea of military terms) of the Yorkshire diaspora.

I might live in Yam Yam land but I was born in Dewsbury, I make a mean Yorkshire pudding and I know all the lyrics to On Ilkley Moor Bha'tat.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 11/05/2024 05:42

DanFmDorking · 11/05/2024 02:59

I own a small allotment. Every night someone throws soil on top of it.
I don't know why.

The plot thickens.

Lmfao

KateDelRick · 11/05/2024 05:45

DanFmDorking · 11/05/2024 02:59

I own a small allotment. Every night someone throws soil on top of it.
I don't know why.

The plot thickens.

😂
I think you win the thread 🤣

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 11/05/2024 07:36

sashh · 11/05/2024 05:37

May I join you with a division (no idea of military terms) of the Yorkshire diaspora.

I might live in Yam Yam land but I was born in Dewsbury, I make a mean Yorkshire pudding and I know all the lyrics to On Ilkley Moor Bha'tat.

It’s bar t’at. Bar means without in that context. (I’m trying to think of another example but the closest I can think of is ‘it’s all over bar the shouting’ and that’s more like ‘except’ rather than ‘without’ but you can tell it’s the same concept.)
I love Yorkshire dialect!

BoomBoom70 · 11/05/2024 07:54

DanFmDorking · 11/05/2024 02:59

I own a small allotment. Every night someone throws soil on top of it.
I don't know why.

The plot thickens.

Could be a friendly neighbourhood mole? Penfold was often mistaken for a mole.

HeChokedOnAChorizo · 11/05/2024 08:09

Ooh OP we must be surgery twins !! I went in Thursday for surgery and came out yesterday and the I have to suffer the surgical stockings for 2 weeks, the annoying things they are.

the hospital was soo loud even though I was in my own room, hardly got any sleep, amazing amount of bin lid slamming and bizarrely it was freezing. So glad to be home.

YaMuvva · 11/05/2024 10:36

HeChokedOnAChorizo · 11/05/2024 08:09

Ooh OP we must be surgery twins !! I went in Thursday for surgery and came out yesterday and the I have to suffer the surgical stockings for 2 weeks, the annoying things they are.

the hospital was soo loud even though I was in my own room, hardly got any sleep, amazing amount of bin lid slamming and bizarrely it was freezing. So glad to be home.

It’s awful isn’t it! Hope you are feeling better. I’m having a chill day in the sun relaxing in my stockings - sexy or what. I’ve told pretty boy he’s not to be seduced by them 😂😂

OP posts:
Ginkypig · 11/05/2024 10:55

Too late he will be physically unable to resist you in them 😂

Trishthedish · 11/05/2024 11:19

sashh · 10/05/2024 08:08

Loving the updates OP.

I hope you are feeling better.

I'm thinking Penfold needs a power ballad solo in the show all about how he has admired Babs from afar, and was building up the courage to ask her to share his flask of tea and a Garibaldi biscuit but now he will never get the chance, and all because of a pretty boy.

The chorus could be something like:

Pretty Boy, Pretty Boy
Leave Babs alone
I've pined for her for 10 years
And now I will allotment alone

Epic. Can’t wait for the musical

Trishthedish · 11/05/2024 11:25

YaMuvva · 10/05/2024 20:31

Can I propose the ever so pretty Nesta Carbonell to play DH - he isn’t as pretty as Nesta but he has the black hair and the easily tans and Nesta looks like he wears eyeliner so that ticks the pretty boy box

Absolutely. Will happily watch

Newestname002 · 11/05/2024 11:39

@YaMuvva

Very fetching stockings. Didn't have them in your colour then? Though im sure they work whatever colour. I'm currently rocking a deep beige pair which closely matches my skin colour. 🌹

KateDelRick · 11/05/2024 11:41

Nice knees! Thet look a bit red. Careful in the sun.
I hope Richard is running around after you and bringing you a cuppa in the china with the periwinkles 😉!
Get well soon.

WearyAuldWumman · 11/05/2024 11:49

Are we having a barbecue on the 21st?

I can provide music...I can sling my piano accordion in the back of the campervan...

EnglishBluebell · 11/05/2024 12:08

@sockarefootwear 😲😲😲😲😲 That's absolute MADNESS! Not least because if she thinks ANYBODY is going to turn down a HA new build then they're off their rockers! Those house will have been assigned as affordable housing from before the site plan was drawn 🙄 She obviously believes she owns the entire village

viques · 11/05/2024 12:46

YaMuvva · 11/05/2024 01:32

Some good Scottish actors were suggested in the last thread, I’ll have to look it up! My only stipulation that no one is to mention David Tennant or James McAvoy. They’ve been done to death, they are banned from my auditions 🤣🤣

And yes silly Penfold messing with a Scottish ex forces, he’s got balls I’ll give him that!

You mean Penfold has got balls……. currently.

Fraaahnces · 11/05/2024 12:48

You’re going to get a very weird tan @YaMuvva! Depending on where on your body is, a bit of sunshine is good for healing too.