Changing My Name From Laura to Francesca or Lara?

[antiquesandwine]

Likely a strange post, but I want to change my name. This isn't a baby name post, but a name change advice post for me, a woman in her 30s.

My official first name is Laura. Although I've used this name for over thirty years, I have no emotional connection to it. I've never liked the sound of the name, and when I introduce myself to new people, I cringe at telling them my name. I mumble it and hope they'll forget it, which they often do anyway.

Laura was by far the most common name in my year group at school. I was known as "Laura no. 4." Nowadays, when I tell people my name, they say, "Oh, you must have been born in the 80s!" I've also recently discovered that my mother never wanted to call me Laura, but my father insisted. I'm so sorry to all the other Lauras, but I'm done with this name. There are far worse names out there, but I genuinely feel it's holding me back, personally and career-wise.

My new name options, in my mind, are either Francesca, my official middle name, or Lara, which is obviously Laura without the U. I love the fact that Francesca is a strong, timeless and pretty name, but I would insist on being called my full name, as I positively hate Fran or Frankie. While Cesca is OK, I would only want it as an occasional nickname.

I really like the name Lara, but sometimes I worry that it's a little bland and sounds like the American version of Laura! At the same time, it's cooler and less fussy than Francesca.

Any thoughts? Francesca or Lara? I love both names in a way that I've never loved Laura, but I'm terrified of making the wrong choice! Thank you.

Yeah maybe. I suppose some people think it’s no deeper than changing your hairstyle or getting a new car.

Op said she’s terrified of making the wrong choice. Maybe changing your name is the wrong choice?
If you’re happy with your decision then crack on- it’s obviously not uncommon in your social circle.

Op - apologies if you felt psycho analysed 😂

Er, I have one of those names and yes, yes they do shorten it without consent. I have to insist on my ‘Sunday’ name for work. I hate the most popular nickname, especially with my surname. Fortunately my colleagues have been good about it and patients follow suit.

OP go with Franchesa. I agree people will be confused with Lara/Laura. I have a 3 syllable popular 80s name. I insist on my full (‘Sunday’) name for work in particular. People ask if I shorten it and I say no, not for work and they call me my full name. You just have to be persistent early on.

You can change your name as many times as you want. If she does it and feels it’s a mistake she can do it again. Just like changing your car or hairstyle, yes.

Any Laura here will find themselves called ‘Low Ruh’ if they go to Spain. (Low to rhyme with cow.)

Names are flexible. It’s not your personality, it’s not a deep seated desire to change the essence of who you are. It’s just a name. If your parents registered you as ‘Hilpot Bunkzer III’ then you might want to change your name too. Their taste might not be yours and that’s fine.

I was born in the 80s and knew lots of Laura's growing up. I always thought that it had something to do with the popularity of Laura Ashley!

@MidnightMeltdownalso, is it Little House on the Prairie that has Laura as the narrator?

You can change your name as many times as you want. If she does it and feels it’s a mistake she can do it again. Just like changing your car or hairstyle, yes

As long as you don’t expect anyone else to remember what you’re calling yourself this year.

But if you feel like that’s too much you probably wouldn’t be friends anyway.

I don’t know why people are weirdly upset about things other people do. Not just you, but many answers in this thread.

Cow and Low don’t rhyme!

I don’t think changing your name is like changing your car or hair style, with a name your relying on other people to use that name. You can essentially change your name as many times as you want but if people already know you by another name it will be hard to them to just switch it up, especially multiple times.

Go for it Op.

Francesca is a good name but will be shortened to Fran

I changed my surname at 16 and it was the best thing I did. I hated my surname and what it was linked to.

i wasn’t hugely keen on my first name and share it with a lot of women born in the same month as me 🙄 but I’ve learned to be OK with it and changed my surname instead. I’m a lot happier with both. I realised pretty quickly My surname dragged down my first name and made me not like it.

Its just a name..names are not your personality, or a deep seated essence of who you are

This is exactly my point.

I think it’s misguided to think that changing from Laura to Lara (or any other choice) will alter anyone’s perception of you.

They’re both common place popular names. It won’t change how you’re accepted socially or professionally which was the reasoning behind op’s decision? It won’t change how you feel about yourself will it?

I do think it’s naive not to expect mixed responses to your announcement- as reflected on this thread.
Most people won’t put you in the awkward position of asking why you’ve done but will wonder why.
Your parents might feel upset to hear that you’ve always hated the name they gave you.

Some might think it’s great and say they wish they were “brave” enough to change their name.
I really couldn’t be bothered with the agro of name changing and all the awkward conversations- having to correct people and explain it to everyone during the “transition” period would be a nightmare for me- I’d hate all the unnecessary attention I’d caused. 😬

On a much wider scale- Its becoming more popular amongst teens to change their name, their gender, their pronouns or even their identity. It doesn’t seem to make the younger generations any happier- the opposite actually.

@Luxell934. Cow and Low don’t rhyme!

yeah I struggled with the spelling there. Lahw-ruh?

Cow and Low don’t rhyme

They mean low like in allow, same vowel sound as cow