Family rift - How often should local relative see 85yo parent?

[Curlewwoohoo]

85yo parent lives in own home, alone, as they have for decades. Recently their adult child moved 'back' to the same village. Adult child was recently divorced and their own children had flown the nest. They had friendships in the village. They are seeing their parent once a week for lunch. Do you think this is enough? Because no one seems to be happy! I think it's a problem of misaligned expectations from the get go...

And presumably the health of the visitor and their capacity to squeeze in visits whilst working, walking dogs and trying to have some semblance of their own social life.

With kindness... no it doesn't.

Relatives are not obliged to care for elderly relatives. If they are only able or willing to do so much in the way of help, then that's that.

Otherwise, a once a week visit develops into visits most days, constant phone calls, shopping trips, taking them to medical appointments, arranging home visits, then on to visiting once, twice, several times a day, sometimes in the middle of the night after a panic button is pressed, cooking meals, personal care, POA, discussions with social workers and carers, the lot. It can quickly become overwhelming, especially when there is only one family member who lives locally.

On the whole it is best to draw your line in the sand early.