Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

What would you reply to this message?

144 replies

Yurnsli · 26/04/2024 19:43

Hi everyone,

I just got this message from my ex-husband that quite frankly pissed me off. I don't know what to reply.

For context, my ex-husband and I are legally divorced and have been separated for the last fifteen years.

My son insisted I let him move into the annex temporarily as he doesn't have money and nowhere to go.

I stupidly accepted.

He has no money as far as I'm aware, although he's been very evasive and secretive around a trust fund he and his sister got from his father's inheritance.

He refuses to apply for any financial help or get his retirement money and refuses to move out of the house. Although our daughter offered to help him find a place and help him get his finances sorted.

I feel I have no choice but to give him money and do his shopping.

I left to travel to my pregnant daughter's to help her out as she is currently alone with a toddler and is due in the next couple of weeks. I am quite skint myself at this point and only left him and my son with enough to cover essential shopping and did a full shop as well.

He texted me this:

"Unfortunately, when you left, you didn't leave any money for me. This means I cannot buy food or cigarettes.
Can you think of a solution to this problem?"

I find it very cheeky but don't know how to reply.
I'm tired of this situation and want to get rid of him to be honest.

OP posts:
ForgettingMeNot · 26/04/2024 20:04

Get a job, your not a child

SoYoung · 26/04/2024 20:05

I've thought of one. "I need you to be moved out in the next 7 days, good luck finding a solution to your housing problem".

Honestly op I'm incensed and this doesn't even have anything to do with me.

WhatWouldYouDo33 · 26/04/2024 20:05

“No, not my problem.”

and please kick him out soon!!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Relationship problems
onawave · 26/04/2024 20:08

"Can you think of any reason why I should give a shit you scrounging waste of space?"

Lalalalalabambaa · 26/04/2024 20:08

How about 'Get fucked. I want you out of my house before I get home' ??

anothermnuser123 · 26/04/2024 20:13

I would reply:

No and if this isnt something you can figure for yourself at your age, there really is no help for you. In addition to solving how you as an adult, will fund your own life, it will be best you also figure out how to house yourself as I would like you out in a week.

ChangeAgain2 · 26/04/2024 20:16

You are not my responsibility. You are an unwanted guest. I have no intention of feeding you or give you money. I want you to leave my home and am giving you 28 days to leave. If you haven't gone by then I'll be changing the locks. Then follow through and change the locks. If he refuses to leave call the police. He isn't a tenant. He doesn't pay rent and has no legal right to be there. He's an intruder in your home.

Tlolljs · 26/04/2024 20:25

I can’t imagine this is a serious post?
No one is thus much of a mug. If it’s real tell him to just fuck off.

ManchesterBeatrice · 26/04/2024 20:26

I'd ignore.

StMarieforme · 26/04/2024 20:30

TTPD · 26/04/2024 19:48

"Move out of my house you scrounging waste of space”?

Edited

Yes. This.

ButterflyBarista · 26/04/2024 20:31

TTPD · 26/04/2024 19:48

"Move out of my house you scrounging waste of space”?

Edited

This

bananasstink · 26/04/2024 20:33

I would say 'that stopped being my problem 15 years ago when we divorced.'

ChaToilLeam · 26/04/2024 20:33

Oh come on, how much longer are you going to tolerate this scrounging waste of space?

Kick. Him. Out.

Balloonhearts · 26/04/2024 20:34

The traditional one would be a job, you scrounging waste of space.

Jellykat · 26/04/2024 20:35

I'd reply along the lines of 'I'm not your mother and you're not 7'

You need to stop cushioning him NOW OP!!!

NegativeNelly · 26/04/2024 20:35

what do u mean you dont know what to reply with?! its your house!
Get him out! shocked you trusted him in the house and he didnt take anything or change the locks tbh!

Lampslights · 26/04/2024 20:35

Haven’t you posted about him before; I don’t know why you keep asking whilst you persist on supporting him,. No one can help you. You just keep making your choice,

ineedtostopbeingdramaticfirst · 26/04/2024 20:36

I would message back-

"It's not my responsibility to continually fund you. I've helped you out but feel it has gone on too long. You need to find a way to support yourself "

Itsrainingoverhere · 26/04/2024 20:37

Get a Job you knob

Kinneddar · 26/04/2024 20:40

I feel I have no choice but to give him money and do his shopping

Wtf. So he's living rent free and you're giving him money & buying his shopping.

I'm sorry but you're worse than daft for allowing this. Why are you enabling this behaviour

Tell the lazy scrounger he's got 7 days to find someone else to sponge off

determinedtomakethiswork · 26/04/2024 20:42

Why are you giving your son so much power?

Why are you letting your ex stay there? Nobody would do that!

Send him a message saying you're expecting to be gone by the time you return

Allthegoodnamesaregone1 · 26/04/2024 20:42

What the actual fuck did I just read?
Who the fuck broke you so badly that you have accepted this?
Is this real? Are you actually joking?!

AnneLovesGilbert · 26/04/2024 20:43

I don’t get it. I don’t get any of it. Why is your son telling you what to do, why are you listening, why did you let him move in, why are you tolerating this joke of a set up? You don’t have to answer but from the outside it’s incomprehensible.

Commonsenseisnotsocommon · 26/04/2024 20:44

"Find the nearest street corner, earn your keep then buy your fags. After you've settled up with me for what you owe"...