Wedding Dress Regrets, Been 3 years.

[SillyCook0]

I got married at 24, had a great day, love my husband. I felt young and daft in the shop and ended up buying the first dress I tried on.

It's been years now and I still sometimes torture myself over it. It crops up when I am anxious about other things in life.

I've attached a photo. I analyse photos and go down a rabbit hole sometimes when I'm feeling low. I don't know what's wrong and why I can't snap out of it!

You had a beautiful and elegant wedding dress. I got married at 24 too, bought the first dress I tried on. But I def didn’t have your figure. 22 years later still married, would have loved your dress and figure on my wedding day🥰.

Just to add. Perhaps next time you find yourself obsessing negatively about this, try to replace those negative thoughts ("why didn't I put more thought into choosing my dress, it was so stupid") with positive thoughts ("how lovely it was that I was young and carefree and bought the first dress I tried on because I was just so happy to get married!").

Thanks @AbbeFausseMaigre that's a good idea and I will try this. The strange thing is, when I see another bride in a simple dress, I think wow that's amazing, she looks so confident and elegant. Yet I don't seem to think that about myself!!

Exactly what I was going to say!

I bought a very simple dress early on in a sample sale and then had doubts. Tried on loads of other dresses. Ended up concluding that the first simplest one was the best, for me. And I suspect, same for you.

Thank you @Irishmama100 but I'm sure you looked beautiful on your wedding day and your marriage sounds like a long and happy one.

Thanks and yes @minipie the other dresses with more going on just overwhelmed me completely!

I think I'm similar to you! I hated so many of my wedding photos but I had such an amazing time on honeymoon and as a result some lovely photos that remind me of being at total peace with my new husband. The wedding doesn't have to be everything! Personally (and it's very much me) I'd focus on pictures of the moments you felt most happy and comfortable- hopefully there will be many more to come

Thank you @andthenwho ❤️ I'm the same with my honeymoon pics! And in them I have hair scraped in a bun, no make up, and I look back at them with complete fondness!! The honeymoon was honestly such a relief after all the stress and pressure of the wedding for me.

You look lovely in that dress and fine to chose the first one. I also chose the first one. You have a perfect figure and any dress would look lovely on you.

That's the thing - focus on the pics where you felt amazing. I have a whole wall and in at least 75% I'm in old jeans / unwashed hair but the moment was right! Although I've told my other half of we make it to 20 years I'm going to selfridges and buying MY dream dress 😂😂

You look lovely! It's a wonderful dress.

Thank you so much @Penguinsa and @MumChp ❤️

@andthenwho you're right, it's about how you feel in the photo. Some of my least favourite photos are the prim and proper ones when I'm going somewhere special and have made an effort! I think I look at them and remember feeling stressed out. The casual ones just bring me peace ✌️

Oh lovely, this dress is simply beautiful. Please don't doubt yourself. X

Thanks so much @OnTheSeaShore. I think that's it, I really doubt myself! Need to work on this X

I've been married 25 years and my wedding photos have been in an album, in a drawer, in various houses for the last 25 years. I don't ever think about them because my marriage has been beyond my wildest dreams, bloody fantastic.

That's the bit that's important.

@EconomyClassRockstar you're right. I have never doubted who I married ❤️ so that's something at least! X

It doesn't fit you perfectly so I can imagine there are 'unflattering' photos but your body itself is one of the few that could wear that design in general & the fact you were able to pick it on the first go is impressive!

Will you love it in 10+ years - probably not but alot of people don't & they picked dresses that suited them fine at the time.

Go easy on yourself in 20+ years time you won't half miss how good you were at 24

Exactly this. You look great!

I'm not sure if this comment will make you feel better or worse but I think it's got a bit of a Megan Markel wedding dress vibe.
It was good enough for her where money was no object. I'm sure she's not stressing about the dress she wore.

I agree that it's got a bit of an MM vibe, I love how simple it is, classy.

I think also that you and PP have hit the nail on the head that you're recalling the anxiety of the Big Day when you look at the photos. I'm also a very anxious and shy person and I found what helped is to give myself a set alternative thought / image that I consciously use to overlay what's making me feel bad. And age has worked wonders!!

Do you have one wedding photo that you feel that you look fantastic in? Maybe put that one in a frame somewhere and the rest away.

I'll take the MM comment, I liked her dress! Thanks folks. @Neveralonewithaclone yes, I should do this. Its actually a problem because I got gifted framed photos from my parents and they are in my house so I think I'll remove them.

Yeah @Jk8 it was actually much looser on the top half than the bottom, so in some photos it is crumpled and loose on boobs and just underneath, and tight on belly which isn't flattering. It was fine when standing completely upright but sometimes it looked like I'd put a band round my widest part (in my opinion!)

You could reuse the gifted frames for some honeymoon pictures that really make you smile.

That's a lovely idea @Neveralonewithaclone. What's so strange is straight after the wedding I was happy with my dress, its been since time has gone on, this gradual anxiety. When it started, I just thought that it would fade, not get worse! Maybe the photos are adding to this. I'll get them replaced.

It’s nearly 20 years since I got married. Fashions have changed so my wedding dress doesn’t look “right” any more. This happens to everyone over time. Your wedding is just one day in your marriage and your dress was just one part of that one day. Don’t let it assume an oversized importance in your life.

Just because it was the first one doesnt meant it wasn't perfect! Which it clearly was, it's absolutely gorgeous. Simple and fits your beautiful figure like a glove. Like a PP says be proud that you were so decisive!

I can't tell you how many times I went shopping (pre-online days!) and wasted hours trying on different things just to buy the first one! Just because I thought I should and wanted to be sure. You could have stressed yourself out all day trying out all sorts of monstrosities then worried forever that you hadn't chosen a different one.

When I bought my first house, it was the only one I looked round. It was great so I bought it! Still living in it 15 years later and no plans to ever move.

Be confident in your decisions and your taste.

another one saying gorgeous dress and you looked amazing !