How do I not invite the child who left the class last year but mum is still in the WhatsApp group?

[Lochroy]

It's DDs birthday soon and we're doing a whole class party. The easiest and most normal way invitations are done is WhatsApp. The problem is there is one boy who left last year but whose mum has stayed in the WhatsApp group and occasionally does social evenings. My DD has not seen this boy since he left last July and they weren't close even when they were in class together.

Recently a whole class invite came out and the mum replied yes, DC would love to come. I was a bit surprised to see this! And now I'm worried.

I've already taken a punt on a few people declining so I can fit in my other DC plus one friend for him. If we have any more decline then I've got friends from outside school DD would prefer to invite ahead of this boy.

How do I do a whole class invite but without this one child?!? Wasn't it a bit cheeky of the mum to accept that invitation when I know the inviting mum hadn't realised she was even still in the group! I cba to set up a separate group; if she accepts, would it be rude to dm her and say I'm so sorry we haven't got space, or can we wait and see if we have space?

Message the invitees individually

I would give out paper invites via the school myself, to bypass this situation.

Meh. That's a fuck ton more admin 😢

Set up a new WhatsApp group

Not everyone will turn up so I wouldn't worry about it especially as it's only one child.

Really the admin of the group should remove the mum if it's exclusively for the class group.

Otherwise your suggestion of waiting to see if she replies then messaging her and saying you're very sorry but the invite was only meant for the kids in her class

paper invites

This a - with a specific name of "Xx's birthday party"

You either want to solve the problem, or you don't surely?

The situation is going to keep occurring. Why don't you keep the old WA group and start a new WA group 2024 group with only relevant people in it. Send the initial message saying its up to date for this year's class members. That one is far more likely to be the one which gets used for parties etc. Anyone wanting to invite the other child/mum is likely to contact them separately.
I bet others will be really appreciative if this too.

I think this is what I'd do. Just label it "X's party" (as opposed to "new class group", to be diplomatic/avoid drama...).

It’s really cheeky. Simply word your invitation clearly:

Mini Lochry would like to invite all of her friends in Mrs Blogg’s class/Class Woodland Creatures/however the classes are labelled to her party on X day at X venue. Please RSVP to me, Lochry.

If the mum really doesn’t get it and responds saying her DC can go, just reply saying sorry, only capacity for classmates as inviting friends outside of school.

"Hi everyone! Jack would love to invite all of Miss X's class to his party <details>." And then just hope she takes the hint.

I doubt you'll be so tight for numbers that one makes a difference anyway, it's usually ok at this age.

Why on earth is she still in the group? I would message the admin and say that you want to do a whole class invite but you don't understand why she's still on there.

I'm a little nervous about this because two years ago we had 24/25 accept and turn up and last year 28/30, with two drop out on the day replaced by unexpected siblings, so it could be very tight.

I suppose on the "wait and see, but I'll let you know option" I can still put the non-class friends ahead of her DC?

I would use this exact wording. The mum is a CF if she is still accepting class invites when her child started another school last September!!

I also agree that whoever is the group Admin should remove her but that aside, send the message above. I bet you're not the only mum who's fed up about it.

Just send your DC in with paper invitations, you don't have to put names on them just get a set printed with the details or print them at work

Have you checked with the venue how strict they are on numbers? Ours had a max of 20 online but on the phone there was no issue with going over this and combining with a different activity for the few younger siblings.

Is it a class WhatsApp group? Surely parties should be done via separate group.

Usually no need for a whole class party.

I think she's still there because it's also used to organise mum's socials and she's good company. I was just rather surprised about the party acceptance.

Including 'Mrs XX's class' in the wording could be quite neat.

Is she friends with the mum of the party boy/girl?

I'd dm her first saying you're putting it on the group for ease of admin, but that it's for the present class only

Get the admin to kick her out of the WhatsApp group