What's your stupidest injury?

[ForQuaintMintCat]

Fell out of bed injured my knee

I have three. First one was when walking ddog many years ago. He saw a muntjac when on the extending lead. He shot off and got the nylon lead caught on a barbed wire fence. Darent pull it in case the lead snapped and he vanished. Was ringing people to come and help when a very no nonsense lady came down the path.. "I'll deal we the this.. Hold the dog!!"
She released the lead. DDog pulled me forward and I ripped my arm on the barbed wire. I dripped blood all the way home. Ds2 who is deaf and autistic is terrified of blood. He opened the door took one look at me... "I don't do blood Mumma go and see Carol." He then took the dog and shut the door. Carol patched me up.
Six months later. Chasing around barefoot getting ds2 suitcase packed for boarding school. I tripped over the handle of the suitcase. A few minutes later my foot felt sticky... I had slit my second toe from one side to the other. My Mum arrived a bit later. Ds answered the door. "Mumma not here Granny, lot of blood.. Mumma at Carols house!" Cue my mother sprinting over to Carols.
A few months after, I plunged my hand in the washing up bowl. I forgot the apple corer and segmenter was in there and the triangular bit of the segmenter went into my thumb. I was looking after two children at the time so.the very patient Carol and her first aid kit came to me that time. God Bless Carol!!

Tore my rotator cuff falling over and not wanting to drop the (plastic) horse feed buckets. Took six months to recover.

You win!

Carol sounds like an Angel and that I feel everyone needs a Carol in their lives

Using my cardigan as a skipping rope when the teacher took ours away. Dislocated my shoulder but I remember grazing my knees and the pain of that still all these years later 😫🤣

Broke my ankle getting out of bed
Smashed a Pyrex dish and got a shard in my eye
Slipped wearing tights on carpet and split my chin open on the door handle
Poured boiling caramel over my arm and ended up in the outpatient burns clinic for weeks
Fell down two flights of stairs and broke my other ankle and foot

I need bubble wrap

Was in a bar, just arrived so hadn't drunk anything yet. Shoe lace was undone, placed foot on back of bar stool to tie lace. Stood up thwacked head on back of stool. Was seeing stars and had to take time of work and phone 111 as had signs for concussion

Years ago I locked myself out of my house. Remembered that the top half of the kitchen window at back of my house was open. Had to jump over three garden fences to get into my garden.

Window was smaller than I remembered and the only way I could fit through was to remove most of my clothing. I scraped the whole of my chest and all down my tummy on the edge of window as I squeezed through.

Ouchy and I was so embarrassed I couldn't really tell my neighbour why I was loudly moaning!

I should add after spinal surgery (another stupid injury) my dad went mad when he found out I was back on a horse again

I asked him how many horse related injuries I had had
"Er. You got a concussion once. And a broken toe"
And how many just being alive injuries I had
"You broke your ankle. Actually both. Then that caramel thing. Oh and you fainted after trapping your finger in a door and cracked your head open.... just get back on a horse, you're safer there"

Paper cut on my eyeball. Building an ikea wardrobe. Picked up the ikea manual a bit too hard like I thought it was heavier than it was so it shot quickly towards my eye and cut me. My eye stung for a week afterwards!

Fell off the pavement and broke my foot I was outside A&E I drove home not realising I'd injured myself till I took my boot off.

Broke my wrist falling off a futon during a play fight over a remote control. All of a 4 inch fall.

DP's was when the outside bin was a bit full, so he thought it was a good idea to jump in it to squash the contents down rather than use his hands. It wasn't, he fell out and broke his arm.

Walked into a footstool as I rushed to close the back door and stop carpet from getting wet. Result was three broken toes and a sprained ankle. I was still hobbling two months later.

Found a needle I'd thought I dropped but given up looking for when it went into my knee- actually, I found half of it, I spent the next week hobbling, only going to A&E to find out why I could no longer bend the leg.

We were decorating and had bare wires showing, I had a fleeting thought of what happens if I touch them before finding myself on the other side of the room.

My nearest miss was dh catching my hand to stop me plunging it into boiling water when I was pregnant. He was wtf you doing that for, and my calm, confused response- "just checking if it was hot enough".

Sprained my ankle on the third date with my now ex H (I was 22 and quite drunk) after deciding to prove to him that I was an expert tree climber . I was. I just forgot how to get down so after a bit I jumped....

Broken ankle after Henry hoover got stuck around a corner 🤬

Oh you've just reminded me of the time I had scrambled eggs explode in my face. Never make mine in the microwave but I was on a care call so microwaved them for quickness. Took them out and stirred them to make sure they were cooked through and bang off they went straight up onto my face and neck. I even burnt my eye on part of it.

When I was 11 years old and riding my first bicycle, in the road on our council estate, I was trying out a saying I had heard, which was 'I could do that with my eyes closed.' With my eyes closed I ran straight into a curb and dented the wheel as well as pitching myself headfirst into a gutter and breaking my wrist.

I managed to trap my fingers in the boot of my car when I was 17. It was a very old Metro and I had locked the boot and removed the key before I shut the boot. I then dropped the keys and struggled to reach them with my fingers stuck in the boot. I had three really bruised fingers afterwards.

Put a glass in the cupboard . It slipped and I automatically grabbed it , glass smashed and I cut my hand in the webby bit between thumb and rest of fingers. Cut the nerve and had to have surgery to repair it 😞

Putting a bottle of wine in a pull along bag for drinking in hotel room. Looked at bag when I got to the hotel reception to see a trail of red wine. Opened bag to see what had happened. Sliced my finger badly on broken wine bottle. Ended up in a&e

Twice I've gotten up and either walked in or out of my bathroom, clipped one of my little toes (I've done both sides 🤣) on the doorframe and full on dislocated and broken said little toe. I felt like such an idiot afterwards and the pain was truly, truly terrible both times - I nearly fainted 😭

Jumping out of a window to escape a burglar downstairs, I broke my foot

This same exact thing happened to my mum! ...Mum?

Slipped while climbing over a stile and landed heavily on one arse cheek, it was purple all over, f* me, that bloody hurt.

Sliced my finger open on a jagged tin lid

A bungee rope, that I was stretching around something, slipped from my grasp and the hook whacked me in the mouth, splitting my upper lip open. Still got the scar.

I slipped and fell heavily on a large water container. I swear it felt like my bottom two ribs had swapped places with each other.

Went to make a shooing gesture with my hand at our dog, who tried sniffing round a bowl of tuna in the kitchen. Caught my hand against the crate door and dislocated my middle finger.

Went to step down from a height, but was in a hurry and forgot that the chair I meant to step on had been moved. I landed heavily on one hand, dislocating and breaking a finger, which burst open at the joint, exposing the fatty tissue and dripping blood everywhere.

I'm a walking advert for ROSPA.