What's your stupidest injury?

[ForQuaintMintCat]

Fell out of bed injured my knee

On family vacation, taking a photo of my young son, backed right into a saguaro cactus and the prickly spine punctured my backside😂

My God, the pain! Could barely sit for days.

Papercut on my eyeball

Massive scald to my chest from an exploding cafétière... Possibly the most middle-class injury ever!

Now I know most of these aren't funny really..(!!)... But I admit @Daffsarealwaysyellow, the image of you climbing out of the loft has had me proper laughing, I'm sorry! 😂

Ran into a tree

Broke my leg on a school ice skating trip. I went to the hospital and the kids went back to school on the bus. I was off for 3 months. 🙈

I bit through my tongue on a curry because I was so hungry

Of my long list of stupid....
I'd say it was walking off the edge of a high wall in the dark straight onto concrete below. Nobody needs to know the backstory. It gets more silly, however. I told the A and E nurse it wasn't that high a wall and she said no X ray was needed. It still hurts like hell 6 months on.

After a night of drunken sex, got out of bed the next morning, slipped on a used condom and slid into a bedside table breaking two toes.
This was many years ago. Decades even.

More recently, flew out of bed one morning as heard the doorbell ring. Struggled to get into my dressing gown but I’d obviously slept on my arm as it had gone completely numb. In the effort to get the sleeve on I managed to smack myself in the eye with my wayward fist. Got halfway down the stairs before I realised my doorbell wasn’t working as it needed recharging. I must have dreamed the sound.

A few decades ago I decided to cycle "No handed" with my arms up in the air on an exercise bike. The flimsy cheap bike flipped over forwards and I cracked my head open on the stone fireplace.
I was very nearly one of those weird death statistics.

When I was a kid my friend dared me to shave my arm, I did it with my arm straight and caught the elbow skin in the razor. I still have a scar 30 years later.
I am almost positive that I broke my pinky making the bed.

Had a crowded tooth out as a teenager so I could have braces .Afterwards looked at the gum /gap in the toilet in the dentist’s waiting room , fainted and gave myself two black eyes by hitting my face and nose on the hand basin .
last month microwaved a scotch egg .
when I put the fork into it it exploded with a huge bang , all over my neck and chest leaving big red burns .

Had a nightmare that a burglar was in my bedroom doorway, at the same time DD's dummy fell on the floor so in my sleepy state I thought I was awake.
I leapt out of bed to attack the 'burglar' and landed 6 foot away in the landing - on my shoulder
Result: broken shoulder

DD is now 18 and I am in A&E at the moment with her own stupid injury - a bust knee due to falling whilst climbing over park railings last night after being locked in with her friends

As a kid, set fire to a cotton bud to see what would happen. The stem melted and dropped the burning cotton onto my leg. Still have a small scar.

Broke a toe changing a lightbulb

Dislocated my shoulder flicking a tea towel at my brother. Had to have an operation to get the ligament tightened.

Later dislocated the other side putting the changing bag on my shoulder, while holding the baby and coming down the stairs in a restaurant. I had to be far braver about that one than I felt.

Stepped off a kerb and tore the ligaments in my ankle, absolute agony.

Waxing my upper lip myself and waxed too much, took my skin off which then healed with a massive scab

I'm currently recovering from shoulder surgery following a fall. I'm an absolute idiot. I fell over my own feet at the ice-rink. Not on the ice, I never do that as I don't want to fall and hurt myself. Watching DS from the sidelines and suddenly I'm flat on my face and I can hear people screaming because they think I've died. It's been weeks of agony but I can still laugh about the utter stupidity of it.

I have far too many. But one of my favourites was the black eye I gave myself stepping on a rake like some sort of Warner brothers cartoon villain.

Broke 2 bones in my foot putting headphones on while drunk on my bike

Kicked h knee as I walked past him. Accidentally. Broke my toe.

Got off the treadmill as thought it had stopped. Broke my wrist and elbow.

Day before a starting a new job I was pulling the roasting tray from the oven, leaned it see how things were cooking and pulled the hot tray straight into my chin.

Running into the bathroom to get a cold flannel to put on it I ran straight into the door, smashing up my face and breaking my glasses.

Had to start my new job with a massive welt on my chin, black eyes and sellotaped glasses.

Rushing to get everything sorted before we left on our holiday, I slipped on the dog’s bed and lost my footing. My leg went underneath me and as I landed on it (hard) I heard my ankle snap. Holiday was cancelled as I ended up in hospital for a week having it pinned and plated.

Day before yesterday I decided to break the end of a dried up French stick for the birds. I decided to use a rolling pin. Pressed really hard, it slipped off the bread and I crushed my fingers under the rolling pin. Ouch

these give me hope 🤣
currently unable to wear shoes ( therefore not going to gym and walking the dog in sandals and socks - hmm ) due to an injury a week ago.

had a lovely long weekend in Lisbon with eldest (30) and on the train back from sintra last Sunday she just touched the top of my foot with her trainer. I did a comedy “ owwwweeee” as it did hurt ….. and the next morning my foot was swollen and sore and since I’ve had a beautiful black / green bruise moving about - with now a clear “ point of injury “ which is stupidly tender. I can only think she popped a vein as there really isn’t much bony ouch going on 😱🤪