So many, I started young…
Swimming lessons in primary school, slipped on the edge of the pool, cut my chin open (6 stitches). I wasn’t very popular as there was a lot of blood so pool had to be closed to be emptied and cleaned.
Aged 6, helping my mum do some gardening, stood on a garden rake a la Tom & Jerry, it went straight through my foot and hit me on the nose as I fell.
Went ice skating, one circuit, caught my skate, fell and broke my wrist with such a loud crack all the stewards heard it and rushed to help, one couldn’t stop and hit my head with his knee giving me a black eye.
Went to tea with a school friend who had a “gentle, placid” pony so went for a small hack. The pony was startled by a tractor, bolted with me on board, he ran straight over a cattle grid into a nearby driveway, my friend tried to entice him back (putting her jumper and dock leaves down which was handy later) with polos, it worked but he was so happy about the polos he ran into the hedge and I fell off into a huge patch of nettles (a whole bottle of calomine lotion was required) which although it provided a soft(ish) landing didn’t prevent a black eye and concussion.
The main one, it’s quite a long tale of woe (is me), which is retold at numerous family gatherings, is my first (and last) attempt at an adventurous activity.
I volunteered to take part in a charity assault course race with workmates (you can probably tell where this is going) to be held at an army base on Salisbury Plain. Turned up feeling enthusiastic and excited (oh how innocent and naive I was), the RM instructors overseeing the race explain all the different obstacles and how we should proceed over them. There are two walls, first one is 6 feet high, boosted by teammate, climbed over and dropped down, huge pain in my left foot but carried on, 3 obstacles later (trying not cry), 12 foot wall looms! Instructor tells us to boost 2 teammates up so they straddle the wall, 3rd teammate (me) is boosted by teammate 4, they grab my arms pull me to the top and then to quote the instructor “climb over and then drop to the ground I’ll be there to catch you”.
Well, dear reader, he didn’t!!!
I dropped and felt a sharp pain in my right foot and heard a crack, his head appeared around the wall and he tells me “sorry love you were quicker than I thought” and come on don’t wait for my teammates, to get up and get going!! The getting up was enough to make me cry but my (3 male) teammates thought I was just tired so pulled me along, 2 obstacles later they and the instructor, now looking guilty, realised it wasn’t exhaustion so picked me up and carried me over the line by my arms and legs, one on each corner so to speak. We finished 4th, my teammates adjourned to celebrate/recuperate at the pub and my DH drove me straight to A&E. Left foot - 2 fractures and torn ligaments. Right foot - 3 fractures which eventually required pins. Many hours later my DH carried me (sans trousers as I had 2 casts) down our long path, across the threshold (better late than never) whereupon we decided (I thought he’d drop me and he agreed) I’d sleep downstairs. Problem was the only toilet was upstairs so practical DH brought me the washing up bowl for my potty, this is why to this day we use an old Celebration tub as a makeshift kitchen bowl, the trauma would be too much for him! I couldn’t walk for 4 weeks so had to shuffle on my bum dragging my casts around like Jacob Marley’s chains. Needless to say that was the end of my dream of competing on Gladiators :(
There are so many other incidents that DH reckons I should have a bench named after me in our local A&E. It would be handy as some of our children seem to have inherited my accident prone gene😂