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Original poster

Why would I be sent a wedding invite when I've already agreed with Bride that I can't attend?

136 replies

RollnRock · 21/04/2024 17:27

My niece, who lives in Ireland, is getting married in the summer.
As I'm living in the UK, she messaged me a couple of months ago to ask if I would be able to attend.
I said I couldn't as my husband, who is a teacher, couldn't get time off as the wedding is on a Friday during term time.
I could have attended with our kids but it would have cost over £2k just for the weekend (flights, car hire,hotel, food, not including present).
We are travelling to Ireland a few weeks after the wedding so I said we would see them then.

This week I have received an invite to the wedding in the post which has puzzled me.
Why would they send this when we've already told them that we can't attend?

OP posts:
LadyEloise1 · 27/04/2024 15:11

It probably isn't grabby, just polite @SabreIsMyFave.
The bride is in Ireland, probably Irish and it would be the done thing to invite your aunts, uncles, cousins and possibly the whole parish 😂- I've been to 3 huge Irish weddings. The bride and groom were local to each other in rural areas.
I was Shock at the number of people and the hospitality given.
The invitation is also a memento for the Aunt, the OP.

Scunnered123 · 27/04/2024 16:33

Cornishmumofone · 21/04/2024 17:31

DM would have expected me to send an invitation so that the person definitely knew they were invited (even if it was already known they couldn't go)... it's to avoid accusations of being snubbed!

This!

sashh · 28/04/2024 05:05

SabreIsMyFave · 27/04/2024 10:07

But why? When the OP has already told her she can't go.

It's not 'a nice thing to do' or 'polite' to send a wedding invitation to someone who has already stated they can't make it. It's daft, weird, and pointless.

What planet are some posters on this thread living on? Confused On my planet, we don't send invitations to people for an event, if they have clearly stated they can't attend (shortly before the invitations were sent out.)

Show quote history

To let people know you are thinking of them and that you wish you could be there.

I've known an invitation be sent to a person who had a terminal illness and in all likelihood would be dead before the day.

Do you want really weird. For my parents golden wedding one of the gifts I gave them was a framed invitation to their own wedding.

They loved it.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weddings
abracadabra1980 · 28/04/2024 05:06

Maddy70 · 21/04/2024 17:29

Because its a formal invite and you were on her list. Circumstances may change. It isnt a summons

This.

nothingsforgotten · 28/04/2024 08:15

I agree, it's because it's the polite thing to do. Why do so many people not seem to understand social niceties any more?

LadyEloise1 · 28/04/2024 09:16

nothingsforgotten · 28/04/2024 08:15

I agree, it's because it's the polite thing to do. Why do so many people not seem to understand social niceties any more?

This. 👍

Jeezitneverends · 28/04/2024 11:04

nothingsforgotten · 28/04/2024 08:15

I agree, it's because it's the polite thing to do. Why do so many people not seem to understand social niceties any more?

Because it’s all about me me me

CurlewKate · 29/04/2024 06:48

"What planet are some posters on this thread living on?"

A planet where people's plans change (it's hard to say "oh, I can come after all-is that OK?") A planet where people like to make sure their loved ones feel included. A planet possibly where it's nice to share the pretty invitation card you've designed. A planet where you want to be absolutely sure a telephone conversation was properly understood.

IcyLilacPoet · 29/04/2024 06:51

CurlewKate · 29/04/2024 06:48

"What planet are some posters on this thread living on?"

A planet where people's plans change (it's hard to say "oh, I can come after all-is that OK?") A planet where people like to make sure their loved ones feel included. A planet possibly where it's nice to share the pretty invitation card you've designed. A planet where you want to be absolutely sure a telephone conversation was properly understood.

That's such a nice response! 😊

JohnTheRevelator · 11/07/2024 17:56

Just in case you've changed your mind maybe?

RampantIvy · 13/07/2024 08:26

SabreIsMyFave · 21/04/2024 17:42

So you have made plans to go travelling to Ireland a few weeks after her wedding? But couldn't arrange the trip over the time your niece had her wedding?

WTAF? Confused Why did you not just go for the wedding? I'd be pissed off if I were your niece and would go very low contact with you ...

Edited

Read the OP. She has stated very valid reasons why she can't go.

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