DP has been watching porn and I feel VERY unsettled by it.

[Bunbum]

He was on his phone tonight and opened up a new tab on the google app, I glanced over and saw that one of the tabs was a porn site.

I have to hold my hands up to this next bit because I know this is wrong and it is something I never do but… when he went to have a shower I looked on his phone just to be sure that I hadn’t got it wrong and there it was…. a bloody porn site.

Is it normal that I almost feel numb and like he has just cheated on me?!

I hate the idea that he is staring and getting off over another woman’s body.

What do I do now?! Get over it? Say something?

We have young children and I have to admit our sex life has taken a massive backstep since becoming parents. Plus I just don’t have much time for self care/maintenance these days… but I never thought he was watching porn…

I think you're being unfair. You've said yourself that you don't have a great sex life, yet you begrudge him looking at porn. If he's discreet about it I don't understand why you have an issue. You're also unrealistic if you think most men don't look at porn sometimes.

Tbf if she suggested watching it together he may not want to or may still watch stuff alone, I doubt he's watching female orientated porn

And you’re really, really underthinking if you think that ‘being discreet’ makes anyone actively furthering an exploitative industry that is making increasingly violent sex mainstream somehow ok, because the poor diddums doesn’t have much sex.

Op you get to decide how you feel about it and if it's a boundary for you.

It's an absolute no on both sides for us in my marriage.

Please check out love after porn on reddit for more resources and support you're entitled to feel however you do about this. Please don't let a lot of society saying its "normal" pressure you. Trust your gut.

50 Shades of Gray is not real life.....