DP has been watching porn and I feel VERY unsettled by it.

[Bunbum]

He was on his phone tonight and opened up a new tab on the google app, I glanced over and saw that one of the tabs was a porn site.

I have to hold my hands up to this next bit because I know this is wrong and it is something I never do but… when he went to have a shower I looked on his phone just to be sure that I hadn’t got it wrong and there it was…. a bloody porn site.

Is it normal that I almost feel numb and like he has just cheated on me?!

I hate the idea that he is staring and getting off over another woman’s body.

What do I do now?! Get over it? Say something?

We have young children and I have to admit our sex life has taken a massive backstep since becoming parents. Plus I just don’t have much time for self care/maintenance these days… but I never thought he was watching porn…

It is such a turn off. I mean if the lady in your life doesn’t want sex with you, she probably has the ick because you’re giving your right hand so much loving and attention.

No it's not cheating, more people watch porn than don't. You say your sex life has taken a step back, can you have a conversation where you both try and bring it back together?

I don’t think you even realise how sexist your whole post really is.

That's a ridiculous assumption and it doesn't even apply to the OP. There could be any number of reasons why someone doesn't want sex.

Why limit it to ladies?

"I mean, if the man in your life doesn't want sex with you, he probably has the ick because you're flicking the bean too much"

I actually find OP and others controlling. Women watch porn too do you all still feel the same way? Honestly I couldn't cope with anybody invading my privacy like this.

They all watch porn, they're all sex obsessed.

Unless you empty their balls 3 times a day they're going to watch porn.

So you never read/watched 50 shades then?

My husband and I had this situation last year. Post partum it made me feel awful. We had lots of talks working through it, and he stopped watching it entirely. If he loves you he will stop if he knows it makes you feel that bad.

@BristolBloke why should she ignore something that makes her feel terrible? Jesus, the entitlement! Why is watching some naked women on a screen more important than your partner's emotions?

I think it’s entitled to demand somebody stop doing something that doesn’t affect you whatsoever tbh

@GoodnightAdeline but it does affect her...

Not directly. Just because she has a personal objection to it. If the shoe was on the other foot he would be called controlling.

Because she doesn't want to sexually engage with her DP. Whether you like it or not, her DP has needs. I could very easily argue that the OP is being unreasonable.

Exactly. 👏

I've had my own issues in the past with dp watching porn and even posted on here before, so I get it to an extent, but I have to say:

Firstly if you're the one turning down sex it's a bit of a pisstake to then being upset about him wanking to porn.

Considering you only found out from looking at his phone's google auto-fill (?) it clearly isn't something that's affecting your relationship that much.

And the being weirded out by watching sex can't be that common? We're humans, we're animals.

I just can't see what it is that you actually disapprove of? Is he sneaking off to wank in the middle of the day? Is he watching women you think stress more attractive than you? Is he rejecting sex with you? Is he comparing your body? Has he lied, knowing you disapprove of porn? Is he obsessed with porn fantasies and unable to perform with you? Is it the ethics that upsets you? Is he leaving his phone out here the children could stumble on it?

I just can't see what the issue is specifically, without more detail.

@BristolBloke he needs to communicate with her if he's doing something which could upset her without checking first that she's ok with it. He could also relieve himself without watching porn.

Because she doesn't want to sexually engage with her DP

rubbish

she literally said she loves having sex with her partner

Lots of us hit a dry patch when we have little-ones

He could also relieve himself without watching porn

i think its a wee bit sad that there are some men out there that can’t have a wank without porn

Me too! Probably high levels of addiction with it sadly :-(

They probably can they just choose not to because it’s more enjoyable. Like women using vibrators.

Like women using vibrators

thats not like for like at all…

Why not? If a man was found to have an equivalent sex toy (plastic vagina?!) on here I can only IMAGINE what the responses would be! Probably ‘ewwww so grim, LTB’

Wouldn't be an issue for me. Lots of men and women enjoy porn. Bigger issue is your sex life. If you know it's not what it should be speak to him about it and try and get it back on track.