Have you ever had to 'Ask for Angela' at a bar?

[TellingBone]

What happened?

https://askforangela.co.uk/

No. I've read about this before but wouldn't have remembered the name even if I'd ever wanted to use it.

I don't understand why people have to use a code word at all, if you're out of earshot anyway, just tell the bar staff you need help?

I just can’t imagine there’s enough training of bar staff for this to work . I may be wrong . I just feel it would be one of those situations where you ask for Angela and the barman says ‘who?!’ , leading to a far more awkward situation than intended.

It’s one of those schemes that I wonder if any actual training has gone into it? Or have they just stuck stickers up.

I can also imagine the bar staff asking ‘who?’.

I thought this. Also what if you really do need a woman called Angela.

I’ve also seen a poster that says one of the reasons for asking for Angela is “date is isn’t going well”. Fair enough asking for Angela if you’re unsafe but if your date isn’t going well then out your big girl pants on and tell him. Feels a bit harsh to just take off.

Like when I asked the barmaid what the sign in Welsh behind the bar said and she didn't know. Maybe it said Ask for Angela.

And if your date isn't going well, why is the busy bar staff's responsibility to get you out of it? What are they supposed to do, exactly?

Yes totally, I think training is non-existent in service industry these days. I went into home bargains today and asked an assistant if they had a puncture repair kit. She replied “In this shop?” 🤨😂 I can‘T imagine what kind of crap training they provide in bars let alone for women needing help

Or been the bar staff who was asked? I've often wondered if it works and if it's used too.

If the code word is well known, which it needs to be for it to work, then there'll always be a risk that he knows what's going on and if he doesn't, he's going to think it odd that you're asking for a random woman. If he can't hear, you don't need a code.

They are trained here and have unfortunately had to act, with our local being on a pedestrian only walkway, they let a person out the back who was really concerned.

Yes exactly. Deliver a more suitable date to your table?

Im assuming they sneak you into a taxi somehow. But that’s also assuming there is a back door and sneak attack plan in place

There's usually posters on the back of toilet doors if the bar offers the service

I used to work in a bar and helped a woman leave through the back door, walked her to the taxi rank and saw her in to a taxi as she said her date had gotten creepy. She just told us there was an issue as she came up to the bar alone but we were aware of the ask for Angela scheme at the time too.

Ask for angela would be useful if you weee talking to a waiter because you couldn’t get to the bar.

If you can get to the bar you can use normal words to explain what help you need.

I've never thought about being cynical about this. If I see a poster up in the loo about it I usually think what a good idea and assume staff are trained.

Not an ask Angela but similar during a maternity appointment. They have red sticker dots in the bathroom. If you need help, due to abuse, they ask you to put one on the bottom of your urine sample.

One lady, asked me to pass her the sticker sheet. She asked me what to say if her partner saw it before she passed it to the nurse. I said, either play dumb...it was there when they gave it to me or just say they are checking for a uti as well this time.

No clue what happened or how it was handled. We were in the waiting room before scans and while waiting for the consultant for ages. She was ahead of me, I didn't see her or her partner leave or come back into the main area. Which in itself isn't usual.

Hope she's alright.

That is an excellent idea, I hope it worked and she got help.

That's a great idea @MillshakePickle

Only on mumsnet could they be any negative thoughts about this whole scheme 😂

Well the vipers are out. I think it’s an excellent scheme which has saved lives.

I've thought this alot.

Has it? That's the question isn't it? How does it work in practice and how much is it being used? I hope it has helped people.

It doesn't really matter if you literally ask for Angela though does it, it just signals that if you ask for help at the bar there's a chance that the bar staff will be clued up enough to know what to do. You'd hope they would be anyway.

Saved lives?

I agree with this. I think it would be awkward to "Ask for Angela", but seeing the sticker would make me feel more confident that the bar staff would help me out sensitively if I was uncomfortable.