Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
21
HuminaHuminaHumina · 14/04/2024 19:26

Yes @BoneshakerBike thats my thoughts too.

Zonder · 14/04/2024 19:41

LlynTegid · 14/04/2024 11:57

Please not Sean Bean.

It's ok, he wouldn't be in it too long. He'd be killed off before the end.

MrsGlennBulb · 14/04/2024 19:56

I have a Babs as a neighbour, so I know the type. Babses generally surround themselves with spineless people pleasers and always expect their aggression to get them what they want. They don’t have friends, just hapless acquaintances and relatives who pussyfoot around them.

When the aggression fails the next step is to turn on the Poor Genteel Confused Old Lady act (and before someone shouts AGEIST I’m 70 myself).

Don't give an inch OP, being reasonable and polite is wasted on these types. She was expecting the inevitable allotment challenge and had her battle plan ready -having marked you down as a soft touch after the garage episode.

It’s your land and she is a monumental CF.

Nanaof1 · 14/04/2024 19:58

YaMuvva · 14/04/2024 19:02

I can see this going too far and I end up donning a suit of leaves and hiding in her bush to spy on her.

If that happens I’m telling the jury MN encouraged me too much

Just buy a ghillie suit! It can double as a Halloween costume. 😉

Zicac 3D Leaves Ghillie Camouflage Clothing Tops Pants Jacket Hunting Paintball Airsoft : Amazon.co.uk: Sports & Outdoors

Zonder · 14/04/2024 20:01

Nanaof1 · 14/04/2024 19:58

Edited

That's actually a bit disturbing!

Another2Cats · 14/04/2024 20:25

YaMuvva · 14/04/2024 18:29

I might have to get permission from Harlen Coben to use him as I think he has the monopoly on poor Richard 😂 but I agree he is LUSH

Can I actually suggest Rory Kinnear for garage thief and Ken Stott for my angry Scottish FIL?

"Can I actually suggest Rory Kinnear for garage thief and Ken Stott for my angry Scottish FIL?"

Since you have seen these people in real life and know what they are like we will have to go with your recommendations.

But...

The only time I've ever seen Rory Kinnear was in the Netflix show "The Diplomat" - that's really good btw - and the character he played (the PM) was extremely manipulative and forceful. Although, perhaps garage thief is equally manipulative as well? I just took garage thief for someone really quite different.

That show also had Rufus Sewell in it as well (I'm not letting this go!), I've since learned from you that he's a tad too old to play DH, so how about a minor role for him as one of the solicitors or barristers in the inevitable court case scene?

Ken Stott? There's a name. Although I only really remember him from his Inspector Rebus days about 15-20 years ago. Has he done much since?

When I first read:

"Especially with FIL in tow who is an angry Scot that would have not minced his words with her."

My first thought was Douglas Henshall. The latest thing I've seen him in is the Netflix show "Who is Erin Carter?" where he played the role of angry Scottish father very well indeed. He was also in Season one of Outlander.

But there again, if we're talking Outlander then you really can't ignore Graham McTavish as the ultimate angry Scot.

So, is DH Scottish? And does he have a brother that looks anything like Sam Heughan?

Do the Scots ride to the rescue, just in the nick of time, at the height of the Battle of the Beansprouts? Or are they the ones that start the War of the Winter Squash?

wizzler · 14/04/2024 20:26

Surely a cameo role somewhere for Mr Bloom?

ThePaintedMoose · 14/04/2024 20:48

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at OP's request.

RainbowZebraWarrior · 14/04/2024 20:51

wizzler · 14/04/2024 20:26

Surely a cameo role somewhere for Mr Bloom?

OMG. Mr Bloom. We loved him when DD was little. Is he still around?

Off to Google..

It's probably already been mentioned, but I keep thinking of Richard Osman's Thursday Murder Club characters when I read this.

YaMuvva · 14/04/2024 21:06

Another2Cats · 14/04/2024 20:25

"Can I actually suggest Rory Kinnear for garage thief and Ken Stott for my angry Scottish FIL?"

Since you have seen these people in real life and know what they are like we will have to go with your recommendations.

But...

The only time I've ever seen Rory Kinnear was in the Netflix show "The Diplomat" - that's really good btw - and the character he played (the PM) was extremely manipulative and forceful. Although, perhaps garage thief is equally manipulative as well? I just took garage thief for someone really quite different.

That show also had Rufus Sewell in it as well (I'm not letting this go!), I've since learned from you that he's a tad too old to play DH, so how about a minor role for him as one of the solicitors or barristers in the inevitable court case scene?

Ken Stott? There's a name. Although I only really remember him from his Inspector Rebus days about 15-20 years ago. Has he done much since?

When I first read:

"Especially with FIL in tow who is an angry Scot that would have not minced his words with her."

My first thought was Douglas Henshall. The latest thing I've seen him in is the Netflix show "Who is Erin Carter?" where he played the role of angry Scottish father very well indeed. He was also in Season one of Outlander.

But there again, if we're talking Outlander then you really can't ignore Graham McTavish as the ultimate angry Scot.

So, is DH Scottish? And does he have a brother that looks anything like Sam Heughan?

Do the Scots ride to the rescue, just in the nick of time, at the height of the Battle of the Beansprouts? Or are they the ones that start the War of the Winter Squash?

I saw Rory Kinnear in a film called Man Up that made me think of garage thief - he plays a bit of a dimwit weirdo, which sums up garage thief quite well

If you ever want to bleach your eyeballs catch Rory Kinnear as the PM in the pilot of Black Mirror. disturbing but brilliant.

DH is Scottish and he has a brother that looks like the back end of a bus 😂 please no one suggest David Tennant for anything, what an annoying man. It might be too small fry for James McAvoy who is now a Hollywood big wig. I can’t think of any other Scottish actors in their mid-late 40’s who don’t irritate me!

Im not sure Douglas Henshall would be old enough to play FIL I’m actually surprised he’s 58 😱

OP posts:
YaMuvva · 14/04/2024 21:07

wizzler · 14/04/2024 20:26

Surely a cameo role somewhere for Mr Bloom?

😂 The only Mr Bloom I’m remotely interested in is Orlando

OP posts:
Stressybetty · 14/04/2024 21:08

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at OP's request.

Love Jasper Carrott but he's from Birmingham although his name fits. Maybe a non speaking role?

RumNotRun · 14/04/2024 21:11

What about Ewan McGregor or Robert Carlyle for a Scottish actor? Incidentally I've just discovered Ewan M is in his 50s now. That means either he's aged much faster than I have, or I am no longer in my 20s 😳

BlackCountryWench2 · 14/04/2024 21:15

Surely we can get Barbara Broccoli on board to produce?

AffableApple · 14/04/2024 21:39

Has anyone suggested John Hannah as FIL? (Sorry if it turns out to be the new adverse possession.)

Edit: Oh, he's only 61?!

Another2Cats · 14/04/2024 21:43

@YaMuvva "I can’t think of any other Scottish actors in their mid-late 40’s who don’t irritate me!"

Even Sam Heughan? Interesting. He's 43 and was born near Dumfries.

YaMuvva · 14/04/2024 21:44

AffableApple · 14/04/2024 21:39

Has anyone suggested John Hannah as FIL? (Sorry if it turns out to be the new adverse possession.)

Edit: Oh, he's only 61?!

Edited

What?! Is he! I thought he was about 45 when he was in Four Weddings and a Funeral

OP posts:
YaMuvva · 14/04/2024 21:44

Another2Cats · 14/04/2024 21:43

@YaMuvva "I can’t think of any other Scottish actors in their mid-late 40’s who don’t irritate me!"

Even Sam Heughan? Interesting. He's 43 and was born near Dumfries.

Ooh so was my DH!
Never heard of him - off to Google

OP posts:
YaMuvva · 14/04/2024 21:47

Having looked on IMDB I’ve never seen anything Sam Heughan is in

OP posts:
Merrymouse · 14/04/2024 21:47

LenaLamont · 14/04/2024 12:41

If you go to the first message on the thread and click See All in the bottom right corner, you will read only the OP’s posts.

However, that means you may miss crucial casting updates.

@YaMuvva , can you please find a role for Richard Armitage? He makes me go weak at the knees, and he can do a decent Northern accent.

I think that would turn it into a Harlen Coben Netflix series, which, after all the plot twists, would inevitably mean the OP did it.

YaMuvva · 14/04/2024 21:50

Merrymouse · 14/04/2024 21:47

I think that would turn it into a Harlen Coben Netflix series, which, after all the plot twists, would inevitably mean the OP did it.

I’d stomp around saying “My allotment has been STOLEN” in the style of Michelle Keegan saying “My husband is DEAD”

OP posts:
ThePaintedMoose · 14/04/2024 21:52

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at OP's request.

Sittingsewing · 14/04/2024 21:52

Nanaof1 · 14/04/2024 04:49

Well, I have some theories to add to this story.

You see, Babs has no choice but to guard that "plot" of land. The reason behind her being so very upset at possibly losing it has to do with "the statute of limitations". You see, dear MNers, once upon a time, about ten years ago, Babs was married. He was a gentleman named Percival, quite wealthy and successful, but also quite cross, impatient and rude who enjoyed a good curse-fest. He cursed at the cat, the postman, his wife and even the grocery deliveryman. One day, he was so cross and crabby, he told Babs he had had enough! He was done! He was going to divorce her and move to Malta with a young woman he had met when she had helped him up after he had stumbled leaving the neighborhood pub. Quite besotted with her beauty and the fact that she could help him up when he was a trifle or two overweight, Percival was quite attracted to her biceps, shapely legs and pecs.
Well, Babs was flabbergasted, fibber-Mac geed and ANGRY! Babs had not been this angry since they discontinued her favorite yogurt down at Sainsbury! As Percival went to fix himself his fourth drink of the day, at 11 a.m., Babs went to the freezer, removed the 6 pound leg of lamb that she had been saving for the holidays and cracked poor Percival over the head with it a dozen times! Babs got her mind back as quick as she had lost it and looked aghast at what she had done. IN her panic and horror, she did the only thing she could think of; call her friend Stella! Stella hurried over, after stopping in her garage for a wheelbarrow. They hoisted Percival up and into the wheelbarrow and took him back to Stella's garage.
After a couple of days, whilst poor Percival was ripening in the garage, Stella and Babs came up with a plan. That night, while the village slept, Babs and Stella wheeled poor Percival down to Stella's garden plot. There, under the full moon, they dug down as far as they could. They rolled poor Percival's body down into his final resting place.
The next day, Stella saw her one neighbor, a man who seemed to enjoy owning a lot of stuff and told him he was free to use her garage if he needed to store some items. The neighbor jumped at the chance to see what color his living room carpet was and thanked "dear Stella". Stella, of course, was glad to have her garage filled to not only hide the lingering odor of decomposition but to give her and her friend deniable plausibility.
The last complication Babs and Stella needed to solve was how to keep poor Percival from ever being noticed or dug up. So far, the story of Percival absconding with his money and the young woman to Malta was holding, but would it last? How could they keep nosy neighbors and police from checking out Stella's extra piece of land?

Finally, they had it! A no-fail plan to keep their secret safe forever! Thanks to the Royal Mail, they knew their plan was foolproof! That day, Stella and Babs went to Pecivals new "home away from home" with several bags of potting soil and a few plants.
They proceeded to plant a garden right on top of Percival; which was funny in itself, as Percival hated flowers and plants. They planted:
Dwarf Milkwort
Downey Woundwort
Marsh Saxifrage
Upright Splurge
Deptford Pink
Plymouth Pear
Round-headed Leek
and even
Lady's Slipper Orchid

It was a long, hard day, but Stella and Babs knew they had done it. The perfect crime! Sure, they could have put Percival in the back garden and put in a patio, but these ladies are wily and complex thinkers. After all, it is against the law to dig up endangered plants!
To be doubly safe though, in case anyone got nosy, Stella told Babs that she was now "in charge" of the little plot of land. Babs takes her role quite seriously and protects it with the vim and vigor of a woman twice her age. Babs enjoy sitting in her chair at the plot, thinking of poor Percival, enjoying her coffee and imagining what Chanel purse is next on her shopping list.

Then, along came these upstarts! Threatening every thing Babs and Stella had sweated and spent for! The inhumanity (and pesky statute of limitations!) could foil them after all! Oh no!

The saga continues!

Maybe Babs had watched this
https://x.com/archivetvmus71/status/1779540114906997193

https://x.com/archivetvmus71/status/1779540114906997193

Bendattheknees · 14/04/2024 22:00

YaMuvva · 14/04/2024 21:44

Ooh so was my DH!
Never heard of him - off to Google

Dougray Scott?

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 14/04/2024 22:18

YaMuvva · 14/04/2024 21:47

Having looked on IMDB I’ve never seen anything Sam Heughan is in

The male star of Outlander. With 8 seasons of yummy Scottish goodness. Gets his kit off a lot. 😜

Swipe left for the next trending thread