CF allotment thief part 3: The ‘plot’ thickens and auditions begin for the west end musical

[YaMuvva]

Just creating one now before t’other fills up. Will post updates when I have them

Last thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5048540-cf-allotment-thief-part-2-the-battle-of-barbara-and-the-beansprouts?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Crazy antics!

No, since the police believe poor Percival has run off, they haven't investigated, so she had no need for the shenanigans.

I watched the AH version and have heard the story many, many times, which is where I got the leg of lamb idea. No other cut of meat makes such a handy-dandy bludgeoning tool.

Babs had Stella and Kevin, the garage king over for the holidays and felt it was the most tender leg of lamb they ever had! Of course, no wonder it was tender, having been tenderized on poor Percival's skull.

Given Babs attitude this story could run for years - or Babs may see sense, dismantle the shed and put it up in her own garden and make a new sanctuary there. Maybe she originally used the veg plot to get away from kids or grandkids, maybe she has crappy neighbours whose noise made her garden unsuitable as a sanctuary. Maybe there was a tiny Korean women there, one should be in the movie anyway.

Keep visiting, OP, you cant be trespassers on your own land and it may help Babs realise she has to leave.

From thread 1 she (Babs) knew it wasn't a council plot, she knew it belonged to her "dear friend" the seller knew that she owned it and said to the OP that she had let Babs use it. Her response when the OP and DH visited was "she let me use it" and "I'll fight you" not "this is a council allotment" or "oh the seller gave it to me/sold it to me" She blooming knew!

Presumably queries would have been raised by the solicitor as part of the conveyancing process.

If Barbara was using the allotment because her dear neighbour had given her permission, it’s a bit odd to not pop round before she left to say goodbye and at least mention the plot “enjoy your new home and I’ll pop round with some courgettes! I’m so grateful that you still own the land so that I can carry on using it!.”

I cannot be the first person to say this, but Season 4 of Happy Valley? Our Ryan is now a fully fledged copper and becomes involved in what he thought would be a nice simple dispute over an allotment.

Con O'Neill can be in it, but more like his Izzy character in OFMD rather than his character in the original HV.

Also to add, it is an old joke that if you wish to dispose of sketchy remains, to bury them and plant endangered plants on top as it's then illegal to dig them up.

Oh I really like that idea. Not that I have any say in this production.

OP how are we casting your friend the policeman?

Apropos of nothing, but Fanny Burney sounds like a euphemism for an STI.

@BlackCountryWench2 maybe this is where Sean Bean could come in? Rugged, gruff, years spent fighting crime, stolen flat caps/whippets and no nottlments. His coppers instincts means he knows what Stella and Baps have done to poor old Percy but those wily gardeners might just be his biggest ever foes. End of episode/film (camera shoot panning back from him) and he mutters in a deep Yorkshire way "bastards".

Sorry for the bad spelling and that should be to @Merrymouse 🙈

@sashh ooh Aidan could be the link to the stolen woodland thread by being seen (shirtless of course) wielding an axe chopping logs. He has a big axe so lots of muscle flexing as he just catches the eye of Claire Foy/OP?

He has a big axe

Kudos to you for not saying 'big chopper.'

Really must do something about where my mind goes sometimes...

Do Grumpy Garage Guy and Babs know eachother? If he lives next door and she's across the road I guess they do?

Is it possible that she had a heads up from him back in January when you asked him to move his stuff out of your garage that she'd soon find herself in a similar position? And that GGG didn't immediately roll over in moving his stuff because he/she didn't want to set any kind of precedent for the allotment.

I think you need to investigate the web of relationships a bit more closely OP to find out what you're up against.

Oh, and Philip Glenister for GGG. He does grumpy really well.

Please not Sean Bean.

No British film is complete without Bill Nighy. Could he play the solicitor?

Jim Broadbent's usually in there somewhere. Another allotment holder?

(And does anybody remember a weird comedy series in which Olivia C went on about a charity for poisoned boys? What was it & is it available anywhere?)

All the people saying poor Barbara and making up a narrative about her mental health etc... alternatively perhaps she pays someone else what she would be paying in rent on a council plot to cultivate it for her and enjoys the smugness of sitting on 'her' plot and selling the produce locally for a tidy profit and that is why she's cross. Just as possible as the poor old lady in her sad life that op is making even sadder story

Having a large garden doesn't make it surprising that someone would want an allotment. If you like gardening it's not unreasonable to want a garden for relaxing and kids to use and somewhere to grow veg separately. People who don't like gardening are more likely to buy a house with a small garden so they don't have the hassle of maintainance, rather than pay more for a large garden they don't want.

Allotments are also more of an escape. You don't have neighbours chatting at you over the fence, next doors yappy dog yelling at you for being in your own garden, people ringing the doorbell or your house phone ringing. You also don't need to worry about making it look pretty as you won't have to look at it every time you look out of your window.

Op, why were you balancing on a ladder to see her garden, use Google earth perhaps? 😂

@YaMuvva Does Babs have a partner/husband? Is she, ahem, sharing vegetables with Grumpy Garage Guy?

I think we need to know.

There are no more proper updates? This is just people having fun? I don't mind just it's hard to find the updates

DH just suggested this...

Just click “see all” on one of OPs posts and you can bypass all posts but hers. You’d be missing some laughs though…..

If you go to the first message on the thread and click See All in the bottom right corner, you will read only the OP’s posts.

However, that means you may miss crucial casting updates.

@YaMuvva , can you please find a role for Richard Armitage? He makes me go weak at the knees, and he can do a decent Northern accent.

Can't find original post 😭

She was hanging curtains