What is the MOST irritating thing on Mumsnet?

[5YearsLeft]

I saw someone mention that something was “high on the list of most irritating Mumsnet things,” but I couldn’t find a post discussing that list. And now we have polls, I thought it might be interesting, especially “other” stuff.

‘Kindly’. It’s so patronising.

The boasters....
My incredibly bright, sporty genius child is looking at universities. Should he go to Oxford or Cambridge or both because he is so clever and sporty?
Sorry if I don't reply I Iive in an eight bedroom detached house and I'm a size 6. Is £688,000000 a lot to earn in a week I thought it was average?!

When someone's response to an opinion different to theirs is to shout EDUCATE YOURSELF! really aggressively. It's so patronising. If you have a counter argument then give it, don't just accuse someone of being ill informed without giving your rationale. You would never say that in person would you?

@Vacantstare , I’m kind of amused when people are so worried about being outed. “I’ve name changed for this as outing. I’m making a lasagne and not sure how much basil I should use. Suggestions?” Or say their husband’s hobby is extremely outing. I keep hoping and hoping that on one of these threads 100 people will say, “We all know it’s cycling, OP 🙄,” and finally OP will break and admit, “Actually, he taxidermies mice, dresses them in disco-era Barbie outfits, and is slowly using them to set up a model of the Battle of Hastings on the garage floor.”

@5YearsLeft

Oh thanks. Saw that thread but didn't read it (in Ireland not UK, so obviously not voting!)

While they may have been referencing that thread, they are also making a diminishing, inaccurate comment on the legitimate concerns well-informed posters have about the pervasive influence of gender ideology, directly affecting the rights & lives of women & girls.

"My 17 year old has done xyz"

One of the first replies is always how old is your child. People just don't bother to read correctly drives me mad.

People who start threads about, or comment on, other people’s spelling or grammar.

You know what the person means; you’re just being rude. Nobody would correct a stranger during a face to face conversation, so why do it here?

plenty of evidence to the contrary?

I'd like to see it then, as your sneering remark about women wanting to wash underwear at sinks in public toilets is not something I've ever read, or anything similar.

My point related to your denigration of one of the most significant issues affecting women, not a specific thread, as that's not wag you referenced.

‘Didn’t want to read and run’

I mean why say that?

you’ve read it so either reply or don’t. The op is never going to know you’ve read their post if you don’t reply.

it’s really patronising and unnecessary.

Sorry but this is the most real thing to me. Women have a space to vent where we are not oppressed and so our feelings about being mistreated come out. We do live in a patriarchy! I don’t think it’s so much “man hating” more like hating men’s behaviour you see on here. None of the posts are unfounded and out of the blue are they- it’s usually connected to being mistreated by men ie cheated on, abused, belittled, bullied. So the comments are vastly justified.

The acronyms!!

The snobbery around earnings & private schools.

I don't love that phrase, admittedly. However, I think, broadly, it's meant as a show of support, often to a poster having a very difficult time, when they may not have other specific advice. It's not patronising.

Quoting the OP. Especially when the very first reply quotes the OP!

Several of the above make my list (the spelling and grammar mistakes in particular) but worst for me is the fucking "watch/save/share" bar that blocks a chunk of the screen in Chat and that MNHQ have been asked for months to fix.

This. It's not "man hating". It's a space to discuss men's behaviour and support women through it.
Also, as the OP said, "manspreading" and "mansplaining" are real.

People whose entire sphere of reference is their own family and personal circumstances, and who think they are endlessly fascinating to everyone else.

OP: I'm staying in a rental cottage and there's no heating. No reply from owners and we're freezing - what can I do?

Answer: See, myself and hubby only stay at five star hotels so we don't have this problem.

or

OP: I'm thinking of organising piano lessons for my daughter. Where is a good place to find a reputable teacher?

Answer: See I've never done this because my son has unusually short fingers and doesn't like music, so he does chess club instead.

Was also going to say this. I've seen sensitive threads created before from people reaching out for advice and some of the first responses have been from people correcting their spelling or grammar. It's not helpful, stop being so pompous! You can clearly see or at least get the gist of what the op is asking so why put them down over the misuse of the word "their"? or whatever it is.. it's not nice. You just look like a twat.

When people say things like, ‘I just can’t understand why you don’t want to spend every minute with your children’, or ‘I can’t understand why anyone doesn’t wash their towels after every use’. Either they’re so completely lacking in empathy they can’t put themselves in someone else’s shoes for a second, or, and I would mostly, they’re a judging bastard.

The point isn't that there aren't legitimate concerns, the point is that it is the ONLY concern.

And the bathroom bit has been said and it is batshit.

People derailing threads with petty arguments/pointless negativity. Makes it hard to follow the actual topic of discussion. I can understand an OP abandoning their own thread sometimes.

Spite.

The how often do you clean/wash X, Y, Z threads, especially where people say things like 'I have at least two and often 3 showers a day, it's just basic hygiene and I don't know anyone who doesn't'

Because obviously, 2 or 3 showers a day in many circumstances is ridiculous (OK I understand if your day is a rollercoaster of training for a marathon interspersed with asbestos removal before going out to dinner and the theatre, but 3 showers a day for most people is not 'basic hygiene'.

How could anyone possibly know the showering habits of people they don't live with?

When the whole OP is quoted in a reply so you have to scroll and scroll just to get to their comment.

Any extreme wording or description. (Especially when it's to describe how wonderful and reasonable the poster is or was.) Also unnecessary descriptions, used to show something the poster things makes it special.

"I was in a queue in Waitrose, with just one singular tiny item I was using to make a delicious homemade dinner for 20. I gently and ever so politely, and kindly asked the woman in front, who had a regional accent, 18 trollies and nine badly behaved children in Primark tracksuits, if I could go in front. She went crazy and started screaming and swearing at me. I had to calmly and competently deal with the situation myself while the cashier just gawped at me.

Am I being unreasonable for thinking the Waitrose manager should have called the police and had them removed and given my a year's worth a shopping free?"

It just makes me think it bunkum and what really happened was the OP had a full basket and thought she deserved to go in front of the woman with a trolly and a small fussing child and toddler. OP stood behind getting wound up trolly woman hadn't offered her to go in front. Then OP, said "can I go in front" and trolly woman said "oh sorry, didnt see you, he's started scanning already." (If I'm feeling generous to the overdesciptive OP then let's imagine trolly woman snapped that reply because fussy baby and toddler had her on edge.)

This. Honestly even TikTok is a significantly friendlier place than this.