Page 17 | My house gets disgusting and it's embarrassing for my kids

keenunkempt · 2024-04-11T09:58:31+00:00

I feel really down because my kids are getting older now and are starting to notice how messy and disgusting our house gets. The worst thing is it's a really nice, newly built house. It's decorated really nicely. If I could keep it tidy it's a gorgeous home for them to grow up in and the last thing they'd need to feel is embarrassed but I just can't seem to do it. I read these posts from people saying they grew up in a messy home and now have the tidiest houses ever, but I'm the opposite, I too grew up in a very messy dirty home and I seem to be replicating it entirely for my kids. I will spend a whole day getting it perfect and it just doesn't last a day. I think I'm just a total slob. I want to be a better mum but can't seem to pull myself together. I don't keep on top of their washing so they have nice clean clothes, I don't keep the house tidy, I don't remember to get things out the cupboard or fridge before they go mouldy, I don't remember to charge their nightlights or put new batteries in their toys so they just stop using them. I want to be a better mum than this and have these moments of achievement but always end up back here. How do I sort myself out?

GeorgeMummy · 15/04/2024 10:58

If you can afford it, I would suggest you get a cleaner. Go to a reputable agency who have checked their workers and references. The Job Centre would be a good place to look.

Nightjar33 · 15/04/2024 12:51

Hi sounds hard going, is there any grandparents who would lend a hand. I was lucky to retire early and help with childcare.
As a mum of 3 and gran of 6 I lend a hand where I can always asking.
I take washings do ironing. Make them dinner. It’s really appreciated.
I remember how hard it was to work and look after a family and appreciated my parents and in-laws helping out

Calliopespa · 15/04/2024 12:58

Nightjar33 · 15/04/2024 12:51

Hi sounds hard going, is there any grandparents who would lend a hand. I was lucky to retire early and help with childcare.
As a mum of 3 and gran of 6 I lend a hand where I can always asking.
I take washings do ironing. Make them dinner. It’s really appreciated.
I remember how hard it was to work and look after a family and appreciated my parents and in-laws helping out

You sound super lovely. Families do need support and it’s so nice when mums and MILs remember rather than casting judgment. And I’m sure it really is appreciated.

NK572a3d19X11e7ef5ddf9 · 15/04/2024 13:26

It sounds like depression to me. I would talk to your GP.

Ragdollcharlie · 17/04/2024 22:14

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This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Ragdollcharlie · 17/04/2024 22:21

Hi, just wanted to come on to thank all the people who recommended the book a slob comes clean. The audio book is on Spotify, so I've just finished listening to it. It made me laugh out load many times with recognition. She's totally changed my way of thinking. I really do think of decluttering as a project, or think that a bit more storage would help, or that I'm super organised keeping things in case I need them one day...

I have now seen the error of my ways (!) , and have already started doing the small daily steps, and small bits of decluttering. So far so good, I really hope it lasts. I'm planning on listening to her podcasts as well when I need more motivation!

SherrieElmer · 17/04/2024 22:43

You look really stress out at the moment.
I will be honest. If you are a working mom, then the only way to have the house in good condition is to hire a cleaner. Days have only 24 hours, and there is only so much you can achieve.

Calliopespa · 18/04/2024 10:28

Hi OP hope you’re ok. I can understand you might have felt you got a bit of a slating on this thread and perhaps feel more detested than ever with people chirping on how easy it all is.

I had a radical thought that might give you some immediate progress. Do you have a room ( one DC’s bedroom and then could share or similar?) which would enable you to go like a bulldozer through the house and literally move everything in there that doesn’t have a place etc. Once the house is clear it’s super easy to clean ( in comparison) as all the surfaces are clear, which I think you would find motivating. At that point you have a super clean tidy house and one horrific room- instead of a house that has got to challenge point. Thereafter you can all retrieve things from the mess room ONLY when you genuinely need them and have found a place to store them neatly. After a couple if months anything not retrieved for use will be at risk if being a candidate for binning/ charity. A kind of “guilty till proven innocent” trial of your clutter! It’s not perfect in that one room is a disaster; but the rest of the house would give you somewhere to retreat to after an hour or so sorting each day. Sometimes you just need a plan of attack! Getting much of the house clear would feel motivating and provide immediate sense of progress.

IrkedByEverything · 18/04/2024 10:30

409 replies and the OP hasn't posted since her original OP one week ago. It's kind that everyone spends time trying to help but I think it's pointless.

Calliopespa · 18/04/2024 11:31

Calliopespa · 18/04/2024 10:28

Hi OP hope you’re ok. I can understand you might have felt you got a bit of a slating on this thread and perhaps feel more detested than ever with people chirping on how easy it all is.

I had a radical thought that might give you some immediate progress. Do you have a room ( one DC’s bedroom and then could share or similar?) which would enable you to go like a bulldozer through the house and literally move everything in there that doesn’t have a place etc. Once the house is clear it’s super easy to clean ( in comparison) as all the surfaces are clear, which I think you would find motivating. At that point you have a super clean tidy house and one horrific room- instead of a house that has got to challenge point. Thereafter you can all retrieve things from the mess room ONLY when you genuinely need them and have found a place to store them neatly. After a couple if months anything not retrieved for use will be at risk if being a candidate for binning/ charity. A kind of “guilty till proven innocent” trial of your clutter! It’s not perfect in that one room is a disaster; but the rest of the house would give you somewhere to retreat to after an hour or so sorting each day. Sometimes you just need a plan of attack! Getting much of the house clear would feel motivating and provide immediate sense of progress.

Defeated! Not detested for sure!

My house gets disgusting and it's embarrassing for my kids

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