DP going abroad for football trip when I’m 34 weeks pregnant

[Beachyblue]

I posted in AIBU back in November regarding DP going to Germany to watch Scotland in the euros when I’ll be 35 weeks pregnant.

At the time, I felt pretty chilled out about it as the likelihood of baby coming early was slim. That was also the general consensus on the thread (https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4948557-would-you-be-ok-with-dp-going-on-football-trip-when-34-weeks-pregnant?page=1)

Since then, my NHS due date puts me at 35 weeks when he will be away and it’s been discovered that I have placenta previa and am therefore high risk. I’ve recently had a hospital stay due to a bleed and the consultant pretty much said it’s only a matter of time before I may bleed again and need another hospital stay. They said depending on how many bleeds I go on to have, I may need to stay in hospital until baby comes and baby may need to come much earlier.

They also said that my C Section will be at 37 weeks provided I don’t have a large bleed requiring a section before then. DP returns when I’m 36 weeks (he’s away for a week) and now I’m just a bit worried.

My main concerns are that I’ll have a big bleed and he won’t be there to take me to hospital, I’ll be admitted to hospital and he won’t be here to visit me and obviously that he could miss the birth of his baby and me having to go through the c section alone.

He seems completely unphased by this and assures me that he will get the first flight home should anything happen… just looking for some advice please!

I had placenta previa. Living in the hospital practically from 20 - 28 weeks due to bleeds. I think the severity hit home to my DH when after one they suggested keeping me in overnight (I was about 22 weeks) in case it was a warning bleed of a bigger one. He thought it was because they could do something for the baby. The registrar looked him dead in the eyes and replied there was nothing they could do for baby at this stage, it was in case they needed to urgently surgically remove baby to save my life. I really don't think he'd realised it was a risk to me as well as baby until then. Then he came to consultant appointment where they said if bleeds didn't stop they'd admit me 32 weeks until birth in case of life threatening haemorrhage and spoke to a bloke at work whose wife had same with both pregnancies and delivered due to haemorrhages at around 34 weeks both times.

He works in an industry where a lot of opportunities come from travelling. He got the chance of a lifetime that would mean him being a 12 hour flight away for 5 weeks between 30 and 35 weeks. He turned it down, but boss kept the chance open in case things changed. Luckily they did, placenta moved, bleeds stopped, all confirmed ok at 29 weeks. He went with my encouragement, literally planned all arrangements and left within a week. Baby stayed in until he got back (and then some!). If it hadn't been such a good opportunity he wouldn't have gone, and he certainly wouldn't have gone on a jolly!

You are delusional. And massively historically uninformed.

OP, thinking of you and hope all is well.

@CaterhamReconsituted
I think it's odd you think the norms of the 1940s were recent times or that any husband wanting to support their partners through childbirth are helicoptering
You may have been happy to go it alone but most women want to share the experience let alone ones facing difficult or traumatic births.
You show little empathy for others I'm guessing your life is football over people.

@Beachyblue

As the football ended a good couple of weeks ago, and Scotland didn't get into the final - did this issue get resolved ?

and have you had your baby ?

Unless he is playing and bringing in footballer’s salary, that is just OFF….

@OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon yes it was resolved and baby is here. I ended up with some pregnancy complications and being admitted to hospital at 32 weeks for the duration of my pregnancy and baby was delivered via c section at 35 weeks. Prior to my admission at 32 weeks I had a couple of scares at 23-28 weeks and he made the decision to cancel the trip. Still awaiting a payout from the insurance but glad all is well with baby

Congratulations on your baby @Beachyblue !

Sorry things got complicated but glad you're both now OK and hope you're enjoying your baby bubble x

@Beachyblue

Congratulations !

a daughter or a son ?
if you don't mind sharing,

my dd was born at 34 weeks and was 5lb 5oz,

how old is baby now ?

@OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon that’s a great weight for 34 weeks! We had a boy and he was 5lb15oz. He’s 6 weeks now and is thriving

Thank you @FlyingHighFlyingLow, it all worked out well in the end!

aww that's lovely !

you too had a ' big ' baby ' at 35 weeks.

thank you so much for replying, I had wondered about you during the recent weeks and weeks and weeks of football, and today searched for the thread :) (as there are now weeks of the Olympics.)

@OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon ah that’s so lovely of you. Thank you from one Glaswegian to another 😃