The worst thing that's ever happened to me

[IHateLegDay]

I was out for lunch with DH and bit into a ham sandwich, not realising it had mustard on it. I blurted out "this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me!" 😂
Obviously it's not. I've had plenty of trauma in my life but whenever the conversation arises of 'the worst thing that's ever happened', that's what comes into my head!
So what's the (not actually) worst thing that's ever happened to you?

(Lighthearted 😊)

Oh my god, that would actually have me screaming, can't stand those creepy crawlies!

I think we need more explanation! Are you a HCP? Toilet training a toddler? Or just have very very strange work colleagues?

Really made me laugh

Screaming. Your mother is a minger! Who clips toenails in the living room? What a savage! Bathroom only activity. I'm so sorry for you!!

@Lesina oh that poor goat

I swear, I am never eating a peach or a nectarine again.

@thebabessavedme Salad spinner got me 😂😂

I had been broke for years. Absolutely brassic.

Was given a gift of a voucher at M&S. The sale just happened to be on and everything I liked was on sale, in my size and the colour I liked.

That convergence has never happened in the history of the world.

Got home with the rest of all my food shopping - to find that the bottom had torn out of the bag and all of it was gone.

I would like Emily Blunt to play me in the movie - she will need to do a dramatic fall to her knees while shaking her fists and wailing at the sky 'Nnnnnoooooo'

Oh pear tree ! That's horrible :(
Could you put something on local Facebook page or ring the store ? It might have fallen out in the shop or someone may have handed in some clothes they found or something to the tills ?
It's worth a try ( if this happened recently )
I am sorry , it is gutting when things go badly wrong.

@the80sweregreat - it was years ago but thank you!

I like to sleep with a particular pillow. Late in my pregnancy, I got a cold.
My husband received a call from me, while he was at work. I was a sobbing mess. He was extremely concerned.

I was sobbing because my pillow "smelt like sneeze". I have no idea what the fuck I was talking about, but the insurmountable horror has stuck with me. When he retells this story, DH still nearly pisses himself laughing.

Shaking hands vigorously along with patting the gentleman on the back in a car park whist saying "Thank you so much for your time '
Only to realise he'd leant in for a full on kiss !!!
First date in over 30 years amd was extremely nervous .

🤣 oh bless you! When I was extremely pregnant, I nearly divorced DH because we were doing a jigsaw and I'd been looking for one piece for nearly an hour but he found it and put it in.
I was literally inconsolable and locked myself in the bedroom and sobbed myself to sleep.

I totally understand crazy pregnancy devastation 😂

I was 18 and just started a job in an apprenticeship type thing so there were about 20 of us all similar ages. They sent us on a days first aid training with st John’s ambulance.
we had to take turns putting each other in the recovery position, when my partner rolled me over she sort of gasped in shock then giggled.. as did the others nearby. When I got up and sat back down I realised why- I was on my period and for some god forsaken reason had put white jeans on that day. I’d had to lay on my back for a bit and had leaked so there was a bloody (literally!) great stain up my backside. I spent the lunch hour in the toilets sobbing and trying to clean it all while they went off to the pub.

As I bit into an apple a huge grub speed crawled out and fell on me.
I cut up my apples now. Feels safer.

Grappled with the compost bin lid and it flew off, covering me in worms.

In my face, up my nose, in my mouth, down my shirt, up my bare arms, you name it.

Didn't know there were so many worms in the WORLD.

Obligatory slug story -

I diligently cut the grass and raked it all together, admired the neat pile of clippings, gave it one last tweak and flicked a huge slug up INTO MY MOUTH.

Like WELL into my mouth, nearly down my throat. Had to retch to spit it out.
Ran around the garden scrabbling at my tongue and going Urrggh! Urrggh! for about ten minutes.

Went to Asda to buy food and wine, I bought 6 bottles as it was 25% off. I was taking the shopping out of the boot and dropped the bag with the wine in, smashed 3 bottles.
I would like Julia Roberts to play me in the movie version. It will need to be an 18 with the amount of expletives that came out of my mouth 😂

Worst is going into a public toilet somewhere and not being able to get the loopaper out those horrible holders they have, or it's empty and you don't have any other tissues on
you and you really need some.
Or you can't open the door easily to get out !

I'm glad I'm not the only slug story. I was actually traumatised!!

All the vomit stories reminded me of our last dentist trip. Youngest dd is excessively squeamish, to the point of a full on phobia of bodily functions. Middle dd went first, all fine. Youngest dd went second. Had a baby tooth that hadn't fallen out even though the new one was fully grown. Dentist said 'I'll just pop that out" I thought ok, she'll be a bit alarmed but it'll probably just pluck right out". It did not and dentist tried to pin her down. I was not happy but it got rid of it. Dd stood up and looked white. In the meantime eldest dd was on dentist chair, dentist had a finger in there counting teeth. I looked at youngest and said "she's going to be sick". Usually I'd rush her out but eldest dd is autistic so didn't want to leave her so I dithered for a bit. Dentist and assistant just stared at me as i said it again followed by youngest projectile vomiting up the door (that I was about to open) all over the floor and my sandal clad feet. 🤮

Dentist just stared with her finger hook inside eldest's mouth. Took dentist 45 mins to do the "clean down" in the meantime I waited with mega stressed eldest, vomit all over my feet and middle dd had to take youngest outside with a tiny Jiffy bag the dentist had given me for youngest in case she vomited again....which she did.

Threw my sandals away

Dentist charged me £65 (not nhs as I couldn't get an nhs place) for the extraction then harassed me for 3 weeks to come back for a filling at £300. I've not been since. (2 years!!)

I've got a vomit story too.
My DS had reflux as a baby, so there was plenty of it. After a 3am feed, I had him on my shoulder, rubbing his back. He projectile vomited, all three bursts hitting the back of the sofa, me, my hair, dripping down my maternity bra. I then brought him around to face me because he was howling, and he coughed some puke directly into my mouth.

I picked up my new glasses from the opticians and when leaving, fell down the step outside the door of the shop. Thankfully this was before the days of mobile phones and social media. All I had to deal with was a few onlookers and a comment of " I'd ask for a refund if I were you".

I actually cannot believe I forgot to mention in my first post the time I opened the door to the postman with a boob out and didn’t realise. Sleep deprivation and breastfeeding babies have a lot to answer for.

Best slug story yet