The worst thing that's ever happened to me

[IHateLegDay]

I was out for lunch with DH and bit into a ham sandwich, not realising it had mustard on it. I blurted out "this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me!" 😂
Obviously it's not. I've had plenty of trauma in my life but whenever the conversation arises of 'the worst thing that's ever happened', that's what comes into my head!
So what's the (not actually) worst thing that's ever happened to you?

(Lighthearted 😊)

That made me laugh and reminded me of the time I took a swig if what I thought was my homemade cloudy lemonade. It wasnt; it was some egg whites I'd put to one side ...

Went on a caravan holiday with parents and their two dogs. Got up in the night for a wee, crept out into the hallway in the dark and trod in a heap of cold dog diarrhoea that oozed between my toes.

Caterpillar magnet, obvs.

I am all for recycling but I draw the line very firmly at pre-loved chewing gum !

With Keir Starmer or Angela Extentions?!

I left my tea a litle bit too long and it was the colder end of luke warm 😩

Very clever@SamBeckett 🤢🤢🤢🤮

When I was a teenager I took a swig of the juice from a tin of fruit we had just eaten, only it wasn't the remaining fruit juice. My Mother had poured the fat from the frying pan into the empty tin and I had a mouthful of congealed lard. I never did that again.

Scraped some left over rice into the outside bin and spilt some on the ground, lazy me left it there. Later that evening went out in the dark to put something else in the bin. Stepped on a snail, then another, then another, wherever I stepped I crushed a snail, WITH MY BARE FEET.
Seems that snails just love cooked rice, there was a herd of the little buggers. I decimated them.

I've got another one.

I was walking in town on my lunch break and a passing stranger spat at me - it went on my face and in my hair. I went straight back to the office and washed my face but having to wait until I got home to wash it out of my hair was awful.

I crunched on a cockroach that was hidden in my salad wrap when on a day out with the family.
It tasted strangely spicy if you've ever wondered..NOTHING could get rid of the taste.

I made myself a Bacon & Sausage Butty. Bacon cooked to perfection, Golden & Crispy, Sausage slightly overdone just the way I like. A lovely Floured Bap and a drizzle of Brown Sauce. Put it on the Coffee Table, turned away to put some Mail on the shelf, turned back and it was gone. The bloody dog had eaten every scrap of it in 2 bites!

You win!

My dog brought a hedgehog into the house and it was kind of my fault. I thought he was fucking around with a ball but it was a hedgehog and he brought it in and it ran around my kitchen at 3 am. Then got into the downstairs loo and hid behind the toilet. They can run so bloody fast!!!

Do you think somewhere, in an alternative universe, there’s a similar thread on Slugsnet?!

Christ alive that’s horrific.

On a school trip ( as a teacher) a child threw up massively from a top bunk. It was the final night so the kids had left open suitcases on the floor.. Literally paddling in puke for hours.

I peeled apart the layers of a cotton wool pad to do my face (because I’d nearly run out) and there was a maggot in it!

Whats worse is that I’d used nearly every one in the packet, so I might have been CLEANING MY FACE WITH MAGGOTS FOR WEEKS!

@BellaTheDarkOverlord OMG! this happened to us too, On holiday in a lovely french gite, we had a BBQ, middle of the night DH starts vomming, ran down the hall, puking as he went, into bathroom, still puking, slips on his own puke, actually managed to roll over it, all over his head, just everywhere. I spent a good hour cleaning up the mess, showered him clean, got him back into bed, however, no bucket in house to put next to him, in desperation I gave him the salad spinner from the kitchen cupboard, I must have emptied a dozen times during the night .

moral, never use the salad spinner in a french gite, you never know what its been used for.

I hung my trousers in the wardrobe rather than the floordrobe so I could wear them a second day. One leg was scrunched up inside out and I had to re-iron them.

That sounds like hell on Earth! Props to you for cleaning and looking after him!! My dh doesn't like me to help when he's puking!

@ShalommJackie I had to help him, he shivering, clammy, high temp etc, he was really quite poorly (and pretty revolting) I couldn't have had back in the bed without washing him

Leaning on a bus shelter in a queue of about 10 people when I was 17 and not realising there was no pane of glass in the bit I went to lean on 🙈 I fell straight through to the other side 😂 I then had to walk back around to my place in the queue as my bag was on the floor where I'd been previously standing! Not one person asked if I was OK or laughed. Nothing. Just complete tumbleweed. Never forgotten it!!

I fell down the stairs in HMV many years ago. I didn't injure myself beyond a bruise and a scrape, but I made a really loud 'thunk, thunk, thunk' noise as I descended. The man at the till laughed really loudly, but didnt ask if I was ok. I just picked myself up and left the store speedily.

This is so outing but another that comes to mind, I was on a class trip in college to New York and we were doing an acting workshop with some people from Wicked on broadway.
All of us were sat on the floor and the actress was sat on a chair in front of us all and was giving a big talk on life on Broadway.
I suddenly got the urge to fart and my stomach was in so much pain. I decided I'd try to slowly ease it out bit by bit but instead a foghorn erupted from my arse.
I swear, the floor rumbled a bit.
The room fell silent and the actresses face was like 😧
I tried to act really calm and look around confused to pretend I didn't know where it came from but someone shouted "omg it was LegDay!!"
Honestly I was praying for the ground to swallow me up.

So scrap my first OP, this was probably the worst thing that's ever happened to me.