Cost of living in the UK v the birth rate

[Potterpot]

I was reading an article where a young couple living in an expensive part of the country said they wouldn’t be able to afford having kids so they’ve made peace with that decision. I can understand why, especially after seeing on another thread that some people’s full time nursery bill costs £1600 a month for one child. The UK average property price at current rates is £1300 a month. That’s £3000 gone, before you’ve even thought about council tax, utility bills, food shopping, travel, saving, disposable income.

I understand being able to make the short term sacrifice financially to afford one child.

Unless one parent can be a SAHP or have significant family help, how are people affording two? Do you have to be high earners for this lifestyle now?

We have five children and earn circa 110k between us.

My husband was a SAHP until 2021 and so we managed on my wage only which was 55k.
Admittedly we couldnt do that now that the eldest two are teens and we are looking at paying for university accomodarion and costs plus cost of living crisis. However if we were starting from scratch now we could still comfortably afford 3DC.

We live in the North, mortgage of 650 per month, utilities of 400, council tax 180, Company car, mobile contacts for five of us 200, food 1200-1400, insurances 150, Netflix, Disney plus amazon etc 30, broadband and TV plus landlines 80.

It's very doable, we have 2 x holidays per year.

We both work long hours but wfh mostly. We have involved GP for which we are very grateful.

It's so hard OP. I agree there are so many structural changes that need to take place if we want to see a birth rate that will protect us in old age/protect the economy.

I'm pregnant with #3 and our household income is around £50k and we live in the North. We have a small mortgage (small Edwardian 3 bed terrace that could do with a lot of work we can't afford), we have a set of DGPs who do wrap-around for us two days a week for our eldest, and we both work PT (when both were in nursery it worked out more cost-effective). Nevertheless I think it's quite likely I will have to become a SAHM and DH go back FT after mat leave 3 tbh because of childcare costs. I'm by far the lower earner (by hourly rate too, not just because I work less hours) and I don't have 'career' whereas DH does so if the sums don't add up that will be how it would have to go. Which would be really sad because I've managed to hold on through the first and second despite being a low earner but ultimately we wanted a third child more than I wanted to ensure I could stay in the workplace, given how little I earn. But I shouldn't have to make a choice like that at all with a modest 3 children, it's not like we will have 5+ or something.

The OP can just do that then, earn £110k wfh and get GPs to help with childcare.

Thanks for that.

Has anyone suggested you stop having take away coffee and cancel Netflix yet?

I answered a question, apologies if the answer isn't to your liking.

It is, however the truth.

Actually no! 🤣

Our household income is around £50k and our mortgage similar to yours. However our car insurance is now £1200 a year for example. And that salary involves us both working part time with nursery fees of around £800 a month. Surely you can see now how it's suddenly not as doable if you had to pay another £800 a month out on that household income. And that's with only one child in nursery part time as the other is in school. We manage but we certainly can't holiday twice a year (or ever holiday abroad) and we dont have as many subscriptions as you etc so have to live a more frugal lifestyle even with both of us working and significantly less children than you.

As an aside, I don't know a single person with a company car.

What is the truth? That everyone should earn 110k to have kids? Ok, gotcha

It would certainly be very hard for the average household

but it’s a case of differing priorities. yours are completely sound

plenty of people are having 2-3 knowing that they won’t be saving for the children, seeing them through uni, having the option of going private for school

that was my absolute baseline for being a parent due to my upbringing but my priorities are different
to others. Some parents literally are like ‘do I have a bedroom for this child’

Could one of you not work full time and have a sahp to reduce your nursery fees.
That's what we had to do for almost a decade. We didn't have a company car at that point either, although our car insurance was probably half the amount of yours.

Recently things have improved for us as the DC are all school age and my DH has found a good career. But it wasn't always so by any means.

Well clearly not, as I stated we had a sahp on one income for many years.

But you have decided to be deliberately obtuse and build strawmen, so there's also that.

So you can't do it, unless you have your very specific circumstances in which you have cheap housing, no childcare costs, a company car and a very high income.

If you want to establish your career first, that is what you need to do. Financially, waiting until your 30’s is also a must for some people.

Some people also simply don’t want children in their 20’s or haven’t even met their husbands until their 30’s.

Which we have only had since 2021 and our eldest child is eighteen....

We managed on one wage for a very long time.

We're a couple who are thinking about not having a second due to costs despite a very high income. But the thing is, we're not saying we can't afford it in the basic, literal sense. We mean we can't have the lifestyle we want with two. With just one, we can run two cars, have a nice house, go on holiday at least once a year if not twice and not really have to think about money. With a second, most of those things wouldn't be possible. So we're weighing up what's more important to us (and currently have no idea).

The mortgage rates have been the final straw that pushed us over the edge. Before we could have just about made it work, with some small compromises. But the extra £600 a month going to the mortgage makes it a no.

Right, so like i said, not at today's prices then.

It’s really difficult, I feel you. How old is your DC?

My partner and I are expecting our first child (early-mid 30's) we won't be able to afford a second and by the time we might be able to afford a second I would be too old anyway.

I can only afford to take a few months off maternity leave as I only get paid SMP. I will go back to work full time and baby will go to nursery 3 days a week and my partner will do daddy day care 2 days a week and try and work the weekends instead. It's going to be difficult but it's the only way we could afford a baby and keep a roof over our head. Our childcare is more than our monthly rent for 3 days a week which boggles my mind

This is the reason we can’t have more kids. We both want to keep our careers because they make up happy but this means only one child.

I thought we'd be able to fund uni etc. My wages are nearly double what they were when we first had dc, but dh earns a lot less now, thanks to redundancy and having to start lower down the ladder. Our joint income is probably what it was about 6 years ago.
But 6 years ago our bills weren't as high.

When we had dc1, one of our wages paid for childcare and the other, we lived on. But our mortgage was a third of that wage. By the time we had 2dc, we were effectively paying to go to work for a short while. However, every year I stayed in work next my wages increased and after a few years, childcare costs decreased.

I agree with a pp who said some people just... have children. Where I live, it's the people who have less to lose who tend to have more children, or people who can work opposite shifts.

Nope, like I said we could only afford perhaps three at today's prices. Five would have been impossible

Your post reads a bit far fetched. You have to learn to cut your cloth accordingly 1 child is vastly different from 2 or 3 kids cost wise. How does anybody manage if that's the case? People absolutely manage fine! I'm not saying COL isn't horrendous it is but I also wouldn't rule out having a baby because of it either! Time and your body clock won't wait for you...so I would ask yourself do you really want children.

Well then they can't be complaining that they can't afford things if they 'didn't want kids in their 20s'.

I didn't want kids in my 20s either, but I knew I wanted them eventually so cracked on with it when I got pregnant. While all my friends were having a laugh, I was parenting and saving.

As someone in my 20s it's just not possible we've had a very bad deal those of us 35 and under

@MotherOfRatios perhaps. I'm slightly older than that at 38, but not by much.