Daughter has Reverted to Islam and wants to celebrate EID - Clueless please help

[Frenchy163]

She’s home from Uni and would like to celebrate EID, (we live in a really white area, the closest authentic restaurant is 40 miles away) I’ve done a google search and there’s so much choice I’m not sure where to begin.

Could anyone help me please, are there some strict No’s as to what I shouldn’t cook (I know about Pork) is there anything that absolutely signifies EID (apologies if that isn’t the right terminology) that I should absolutely make?

If anyone has a little meal plan to share that would be awesome please.

Thanks in advance

https://www.learnreligions.com/convert-or-revert-to-islam-2004197

Hi, I'm Muslim. You don't need to make a specific meal for Eid. This year my family are making a lamb leg with all the sides (roasties, veggies, gravy). It's just what we fancy eating that feels a bit special. Some families have their own food traditions around Eid but it's not linked to religion, its just culture.

Couple of things - if you're having meat/chicken then try to get halal. Big stores have halal sections so just do an online shop if you do t have a standalone halal butcher. Then of course no pork or alcohol.

You sound like a lovely mum btw. It must be quite a challenging situation but it's lovely to see how you want to make Eid nice for your daughter. At the end of the day, it's just another nice time for families to be together and break bread.

It really didn't take long for islamaphobia to take over a nice thread about a mum supporting her daughter's beliefs, did it?

I think in your shoes I'd do something like 'Eid around the world'. I've done a similar thing around Christmas before and it's nice to see how different people celebrate. You could google the most common Eid recipes from a variety of different countries and go from there.

OP, if I were you, I’d pop to M+S and buy a load of their vegetarian Indian meals - they are very much like take away Indian food!

Dates to break the fast then any meal is fine as long as no pork and no alcohol.

Usually middle eastern, North African or Indian food is served but that's cultural not religious. Where I live some local families gathered in our local pub last year, it's a restaurant as well.

Can you people please leave this clearly very good parent alone? She is trying to support her daughter, instead of inflicting her own religious reliefs on them. OP, I think you sound like a fantastic parent & do not need to be defending yourself here.

@Babycatsarenice you do realise that Muslims believe in Jesus as a very important Prophet in Islam and await his second coming. So taking your daughter to church and bringing her up in a faith wouldn't be offensive to Muslims.

The Islamophobia and ignorance on this thread is alive and kicking.

Thank you, she’s home with us so doesn’t have any friends to share EID with here.

Every family celebrates Eid differently is what I've learnt. Ask her what she'd like. Pilau, biryani, lamb karahi, basically anything? Every family cooks something different, has different traditions. Order a store bought cake?

I thought all meat sold in supermarkets now was halal as makes commercial sense.

I understand the term 'revert' but think it's a bit odd when used by a non-Muslim.

Hi,

This thread really exploded!

I'm a Muslim and I think you are doing a great job being supportive especially as you are an Atheist. Thank you for supporting your child.

I echo many of the other advice.

There's no "real" Eid foods just something a little more special than the day to day foods.
I'm from a South Asian Background but one Eid I just make the favourite foods of the family member which varies from South Asian cuisine to Lebanese to Mexican.

I didn't read all the messages so I'm not sure if you replied with where you are based but if you need to rely on premade stuff- then the deli sections of supermarkets are a good starting point, you could grab things like hummus, taziki, marinated olives and falafel, and you can make a basic fatoosh or a tabboule salad (lots of recipes online) and some pitta bread and put this together as "mezze platter" or a charcuterie board. This is relatively low effort and looks amazing.
You could also make some puff pastries with cheese and spinach stuffing.
You could get some dates and stuff with with some nuts or nut butter and covered them in chocolate.
Or you can buy ready made rice pudding and plate it in a bowl and top it up with some crushed pistachios and or pomegranate for an added flare.
Or if you can bake then maybe you could do a Persian Love cake? https://www.recipetineats.com/persian-love-cake/

For a main you could do rice with lentils (https://www.themediterraneandish.com/mujadara-lentils-and-rice-with-crispy-onions/#wprm-recipe-container-10503) I use tinned green lentils for this as it saves me time. And this dish is packed with flavour and no one will miss the meat/chicken if you are not able to get hold of some.

Most supermarkets also sells frozen vegetarian samosas also!

Like you already identified, the 'halal' aspects of the food is buy having halal meat/poultry, no pork and no alcohol. Other things like no animal fats (like duck fats/ goose fats) are also not allowed unless they are halal certified.

We also do things like rack of lamb, roast potatoes, chicken skewers, bean tacos, hummus, burgers, chickpea patties, chicken wings.

So if your daughter has specific favourite foods that she used to eat then you could absolutely make those and just ensure the halal aspects are followed.
Amazon sells cute Eid decors if you wanted to get some.

I think your daughter really just appreciates that you are accepting of her choice and want to be there for her as reverts often have a very difficult experience from their social circles due to reverting.

Perhaps my previous comment was not a useful comment but I grew up with a lot of British Muslim friends. My friends and their parents do not practice a Middle Eastern Islam. They are generally of Pakistani Punjabi heritage, that is their forefather’s culture. They are bemused at the impact Middle Eastern fashion has had on the youth of today. There as Muslims from all over the world, however hijab, niqab etc have grown in fashion vs people dressing in the traditions of their forefathers. It’s bizarre.

Hence my comment she should revert back, or find her own identity in Islam and not fall for the Middle Eastern version. My school was 60% Muslim and literally one person wore hijab in the 90s. Certainly none of their mum’s did,

Exactly, OP did nit ask for all this crap on her thread. She just wants to do something nice for her daughter.

this.

I have many Muslim revert friends who have been treated abominably my their family and are traumatised as a result. it only serves to push them away.

i agree with previous posters re sticking to veg or seafood. would be much easier for you. if she will be spending some days in ramadan in your house, it would be good if you could keep some food available for her early morning meal. not sure how strict she is but I would buy a small seperate pan/plate for her that hasn't been used for pork.

as to those going on about the word 'revert', there is a fundamental misunderstanding here. we believe all babies are born completely innocent, free of sin and with knowledge of God. the Arabic word for man (insaan) means one who forgets. because we are born knowing God, and we forget Him. when accepting Islam, reverts renew their faith in God and hence revert back to their original state of faith. obviously this is our belief and no one else has to agree with it. ultimately everyone believes their position of belief/non belief to be correct. that is not arrogant, it is just faith.

Just to be clear, is your daughter a practising Muslim now and has she been observing the strict rules and fasting? It's an extremely important religious time of year, its a time to be extremely devout, and to focus on giving to others. Or is she just an ignorant girl that hasnt observed any of this, but now wants a party.

Everyone is entitled to have an opinion and will end up being deleted by MN anyway so why be bothered about it. I love my daughter and want to support her so I don’t care what anyone thinks about her life choices, I just want to cook her some nice food and celebrate with her as she’s away from her friends that she would normally do it with.

Op, your daughter is new to all of this and perhaps this is her first Eid. Why not get a few decorations if you dont have any. Twinkly lights, lanterns, moons etc. Buy her a present to open just as you might on birthdays/Christmas. For food, you have lots of suggestions here but you could always go out to a restaurant or for cake somewhere. What plans does she have for the day? Has she been to an Eid prayer before?

It's called 'revert' because in Islam it is believed that everyone is born Muslim but circumstances determine whether we actually practice. When someone 'chooses' Islam at a later age rather than being born and raised in the religion, they are said to revert as they are going to back to the religion they are believed to have been born into, according to Islam.

Google Eid celebration food ideas, there's loads of stuff on BBC Good Food etc

As a Muslim I haven't fasted all of Ramadan and will be having my eid party. Many people can't fast due to health reasons.
Even if OPs daughter hasn't fasted for whatever reasons she's still entitled to celebrate Eid.
There's no need to be "perfect" from the start. It's a journey and everyone's paths are different. Let's offer everyone some grace that they are doing the best they can in that moment in time.
OP is just wanting to support her daughter. Which is so commendable.

Rude, for someone who hasn't RTFT. OP said above that her daughter was fasting.

Dear God some of the comments on this thread.

You sound like a lovely supportive mum unlike my DH’s parents who threw him out when he reverted/converted to Islam in his early 20s.

As muslims we can come from anywhere so celebratory food is different in everyone’s houses. I have an English muslim friend (now muslim 27 years) she does major baking pre Eid; cakes, biscuits the lot!

As a person of Pakistani origin we have savayahn (noodles fried and cooked in milk) for breakfast - its customary to have something sweet for breakfast or with a date in it.

Eid lunch (after prayers is a big deal) lots of sweets and desserts. We sometimes have roast lamb, rice dishes, biryani etc.

It’s time for her to put her stamp on her Eid so make her favourite food (thats allowed for muslims) rather than something that you’ve never cooked before.

And to whoever suggested she’d be fasting on Eid - no she wouldn’t.

The Qur'an says "there is no compulsion in faith"
faith is a very individual, private thing. if OPs daughter is fasting/not fasting or praying/not praying or even if she is still drinking and eating pork... it is her personal journey

becoming a devout muslim/christian/hindu/jew/buddhist etc. does not happen in one day

also eid parties can be for anyone, including non Muslims. and any mum is entitled to spoil her children on any day, for any reason.

Having a friend who is an English revert Muslim, just the fact that you are going out of your way to make the day special for your daughter is accepting and loving her regardless. My friend told me her day is just normal and she stayed at work rather than spend the day alone!

I completely forgot about presents !
Children are usually given a gift and or money on Eid. As an adult I'm still my parents child so I still get given a gift.

And we usually get new clothes for eid or wear our "best clothes". This can be anything. I have spent many Eids in Indian clothes, middle eastern style clothes, jeans and t shirts, skirts and blouses or dresses. Amazon sells abayas with headscarves attached to them and that might be a nice gift which she could use for prayers etc.,