Things you simply cannot be arsed with anymore

[TheEverlovingFork]

Now I'm in my 40s there's so much I simply can't be arsed with and I don't know if this is normal -I am hitting meno a bit early for medical reasons as confirmed by my doc. Here are a few things I recently threw in the fuck-it bucket:

Fiddly care instructions on clothes: like 'Can only be dry cleaned on a tuesday in the rain by a man whose name begins with S' who has the FUCKING TIME if it isn't easycare it's basically out of my life at this point.

Guilt guilt and more guilt about whatever standard for women I'm failing to hit this week. This is my face/body/newly grey hair piss off.

Over-fawning socialised bs at work or what I call the F-email, you know, where you have to put friendly little exclamation marks and non-confrontational jollity on every damn thing because women can't be to-the-point and factual without being hag bitches. No problem if not!

Most men and whatever they're doing. Do it somewhere over there and be quieter while you're doing it thanks.

Pandering to everyone's different hurt political feelings, I am an adult and can respectfully disagree on an issue. I understand how incredibly emotive a lot of what's going on in the world is, but I no longer have time for 'your opinion upsets me and that makes you a bad human being, actually'

Anyway - gosh yes reading that back I can see why they're talking about HRT 😳

Is this normal for meno? Did you hit 40 and throw half your life in the fuck-it-bucket?

Yes to apps. My eyesight is crap and I hate having to faff about downloading an app so I can access or look at something on a tiny screen . Banks are the worst for this - download a fucking app so I can approve payments or pay in cheques? WHY? What’s it to them if I do it on a laptop? Mine even pays me rewards for every time I use my app. But the app is way less secure than using a computer at home, plus your phone could get stolen or lost. I can’t understand why they’re so keen for me to use the app.

In fact it’s yet another example of a total failure to think about actual diversity and different people’s needs (older people with failing vision or arthritis, disabled people, people who don’t have a smartphone) while trumpeting stonewall shite at any opportunity. as a PP said it’s never about the actual diversity of people and what helps different people. It’s just box-ticking using the fashionable diversity of the moment. One that you happen to be able to handily identify into.

I'm old and there's so much I can't be arsed with these days:
I've stopped pandering to male egos;
I don't listen to boring people for more than a few minutes;
If I don't want to attend something I just say no thanks;
I don't tolerate rude or snidey comments - I'll say something like 'did you mean to be rude or have I misunderstood you?';
I don't visit anyone out of duty and don't expect visits from people who don't want to come - life's too short;
I don't cook anything from scratch;
I don't feel guilty about having a cleaner even though I'm retired and could easily do it myself;
I can't stand supermarkets so I shop locally and have an online 'big delivery';

I sound like a grumpy old cow don't I! I'm actually quite cheerful and kind but I just don't have the tolerance I used to have.

Feedback.

Constantly being badgered for feedback on everything and when I ignore emails being badgered some more.

Make your service and products as good as they need to be, pay supervisors and managers, do your job. I’ll let you know if you fail me. I’ll often praise to the people who actually are at the sharp end, but I’m not available for constant evaluation or ego stroking, or to be part of free advertising for you.

Sometimes it feels relentless.

Wow I was beginning to think something was wrong with me as I can't be bothered with alot of things lately mainly dealing with people! Weekends off I love to stay home in comfy clothes now and doing very little! I can't be bothered with celebrations like Easter or Christmas and everyone stressing over shopping and trying perfect the perfect day. I'm 43 is this an age/menopausal thing? I don't feel depressed just tired of all the crap and following the crowd.

@martinisforeveryone So true. I have clicked on “give feedback” links three times this week as I would have given positive feedback but I am not spending ten minutes giving it! Three questions max, end of. Nobody got feedback.

Intervening. I increasingly find myself thinking: Not my circus, not my monkeys.

I think the world has become very exhausting for a lot of people. Constant bad news on a rolling feed. Social media screaming at us all the time. Multiple decisions to make whether in the supermarket or anywhere else . Hundreds of channels of rubbish on tv with attendant adverts. Loads of passwords and logins to remember. Everything is becoming increasingly complex to operate. The cost of living is prohibitive. We are all burnt out and home has become a bit of a sanctuary perhaps.

Also: sticking around past the end of a conversation.

It’s time to say bye. So say it, and walk away! I offered someone a ‘second cup of tea’… the universal sign to piss off… and they bloody took it! I made sure it was only lukewarm so they would drink it quickly.

My DH will say hello to the neighbours and somehow get dragged into a conversation. This has never happened to me. I say hi, and keep moving! He’ll still be wittering on about nothing 20 minutes later. When I realised I can simply walk off I was elated. I just say ‘bye’ and wander away, my DH thinks it’s rude. You enjoy discussing your boring nonsense dear, I’ve got some sitting down to do!

Also: gifts. Or more specifically, keeping things that I don’t want, just to please the gift giver who wanted to get it because THEY really liked it. Do not buy my baby nasty polyester clothes and toys with 50+ tiny pieces. No thanks, get in the bin! No mother wants to tidy up millions of tiny things all day or watch the baby like a hawk because everything is a bloody choking hazard! I have made a gift list, choose from that, or please don’t bother at all. I won’t be grateful to receive clutter.

@JustJessi
"I offered someone a ‘second cup of tea’… the universal sign to piss off… "

I've been alive for more than half a century and I've only just realised this is so true!! Every time I offer someone another cup they get up and go! Now I'm going to spend the rest of the day pondering whether I already knew this instinctively and really did want them to leave. Or whether they were ready to leave or all just knew the rule. Or my friends don't like me enough for more than one cup's worth 🤣🤣🤣

@Seizethedog
"Everything is becoming increasingly complex to operate."

Hallelujah that someone else has noticed this too! My great grandparents would have faced many hardships in life, but they had no bloody idea how lucky they were to not have to deal with a Google Nest Thermostat which has fallen off the WiFi network.

Omg I’ve found my people!!

so so much I can no longer be fucked with:

gossipy little madams at work who also get the hump over everything. One in particular I suppprted/fought for/looked after a few years ago recently started blanking me for no reason. Then started doing it to someone else last week - realised she paints a picture of sweetness and light but is actually a little bitch do not going to get my knickers in a twist overit

going out - hate it - would rather be at home with DH and DC or go to someone’s house

family politics - just fuck off I don’t care. You do you but keep out my way

people. Can’t fucking stand people

grown adults constantly posting Braggy comments and photos on gloatbook. You’re in your 50’s, just enjoy your holiday instead of posing and posting!!

Gloatbook! Love it!

Tidying up, ironing, hoovering regularly.

People-cannot stand them. I’d rather have a dog

neighbours- making so much bloody noise all the time.

Men- no interest in meeting up with men on dating apps who think they are Brad Pitt but rock up to a date looking like wurzel gummage🤣

That one nasty person at work who talks about everyone and has nothing nice to say ever .

People at work who do the least amount if work but the moan because they don’t earn enough

Im sick of adhd and nd being mentioned every time someone is being anything less than perfect

Having to book whatever you want to do. Going out to eat, day out, cinema or any kind of entertainment has to be booked or you run the risk of not getting in. You can't be spontaneous anymore.

The feedback one combined with everything being so complicated to do really fucks me off. I’ve just wasted half an hour dicking about trying to get into my energy account or book a trip to the tip (why ffs) or deal with my ,mortgage with a million passwords and numbers and “now we’ll send you a one-time passcode” until I want to tear my own head off. Then it’s finally sorted and done, I sit back and take a breath and think about getting a cup of tea and calming down, and it’s PING! How was your experience with trying to book a fucking trip to the tip!? Argh FUUUUUUUUUUCKKKK OOOOOOFFFFFFFF.

Could it be the quality of your tea? 😳😂🤣 I didn’t know this either 🤷‍♀️

In my area, we even have to book to go to the tip/recycling centre 🤷‍♀️

I offered someone a ‘second cup of tea’… the universal sign to piss off… and they bloody took it!

Since when has this been the universal sign to piss off? Don't be surprised when people take you literally.

or book a trip to the tip (why ffs)

I like having to book for the tip because it means that I don't have to queue when I get there.

I cannot be arsed with being angry about trivial little things - you sound angry at everyday crap

But pre covid we never had to book the tip and there was never a queue. If I forget and turn up without a booking there’s no queue. But I have to leave, book on my phone, and go back. I thought it would go back to normal after the pandemic.

I often had queues back to the main road at my tip. Bookings solved all of that.