I just said "Sausages"

[SlightlyJaded]

So, yeah...

I just said "Sausages" in the stupid, growly "That's Life" 'talking dog' voice (you'd have to be old to know what I'm talking about) to the Ocado delivery man, and now I can never order from Ocado again.

I don't know why I said it. I don't think I've ever said it out loud in my life before. I was about three when it was on TV and didn't even know I'd stored it in my brain.

I glanced in a bag and saw some sausages and it just came out.

Delivery man was quite young and fit and looked at me very briefly like I was mad. And then didn't react at all - which was worse. We both sort of pretended nothing happened.

"Sausages". In THAT voice.

FFS

Thank you OP - this is the first thing I've properly belly laughed at in what feels like forever! x

Best thread in a long time 😂 thanks OP

Completely agree, there are a million embarrassing jingles I could have sung and sitcoms i could have parodied but NONE of them would have been as ugly and bizarre sounding as what i did. Imagine if you didn't know what 'sau-sa-ges' was and then some middle-aged women contorted her face and used that terrifying voice to name a random food-stuff.

It's the voice that is making me die with embarrassment every time I think about it. And the face I pulled.

Urgh.

I've got the house on Rightmove. Hopefully we'll be out of here by the end of the week.

Please add Kia Ora and McCain oven chips to your next order and report back

😂😂😂

Thank you for posting, Op. I've had a shite day and this made me proper belly laugh...

There will be a whole cohort of us in care homes in the twilight of our days, and on bangers and mash day the young staff will think we've all gone made, "I don't know boss, they just all started muttering the word "sausages" in this really weird way and wouldn't stop".

OP I'm crying - needed a good laugh

It’s just for me and my dog…. I’ll be your dog…..
this thread is cracking me up!

😂 love it!

So funny 🤣

I said sausages in the same way to the dog yesterday as we had them for tea and I cooked a couple for the dog and said it to her as I put them in her bowl

Will it be mushrooms?

Fried onion rings?

Youll have to wait and see…

WE HOPE ITS CHIPS ITS CHIPS ITS CHIPS

Well done, you are now all of our dads

Yes, if you know, you know. I did exactly the same. Only yesterday (btw I’m 56 which is probably the prime age) I offered my DS18 some “sausages” in the only acceptable way to say it. He’s not bound by customer service politeness like your Waitrose man (sadly) so he asked me if I had been at the Sherry. Honestly, these young people don’t know what they’ve missed and should swop TikTok for reruns That’s Life featuring amusing shaped vegetables and dogs who say “Sausages”; much healthier.

21 year old DD knows the correct way to say sausages, as you did OP.
Don't forget "wasuuuuup"

😂😂😂 the fact he was quite fit adds to the humour!

@SlightlyJaded LOL!!!!!!!! 😂 Most people under 50 won't get this! I have done this too, many times, said 'sausages' like the 'That's Life' dog. There was also woof woof sausages from the rottweiler on Spitting Image (in the mid 1980s!)

Also @Scaffoldingisugly

"walls...."

LOL!

Thank you for this laugh OP 😆

A man in the supermarket picked some yoghurt off the shelf before singing "mmm Danone" 😂 went bright red when he realised

@SlightlyJaded I have told this story a number of times on here, and I shall tell it again now as misery loves company, and you deserve to know you're not alone.

I narrate my life via song. A lots of what I do, I do while singing, sometimes to existing tunes, and sometimes to entirely new compositions, but the lyrics always reflect what I'm doing in that moment.

One day in the middle of summer a few years ago I'm making cheese and beans on toast, and I'm singing a little ditty while I do so. Something about needing a saucepan for my lovely beans, and now I'm cutting my lovely lovely cheese. And now there's a little deviation in the middle 8 about how cheese is the best of all food. And now the beans are bubbling so we're back to that beany based chorus.

Eventually I dish up, and my song ends. To rapturous applause from the builders next door, who've heard every word through the wide open window.

I did the only thing I could do, and went out to take a bow.

Oh, I'm laughing! 😂
Made me remember being in a meeting once and I started laughing a bit. My mind was wandering, I guess. The presenter asked me what was funny and, for the love of God I don't know why I just didn't apologize and shut up, or lie, but instead replied, "You said,' hump'". 🤦‍♀️
The silence from everyone and perplexed stares were mortifying.

A ‘youngster’ at work asked to use my calculator at work the other day.

’course you can Malcolm’ is what I replied to the poor, bemused 23 year old.

My dh once started to sing

“eeeeeyo. Eeeeeyyyyooo”

when he spotted the box of fruit and fibre in the shop. He quickly recovered and started to laugh but at the time he had no idea where that came from

Fuck, I think you should emigrate 🤣🤣