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Original poster

Has anyone ever heard of such a problem post-birth? (TMI and embarrassing warning!)

180 replies

Kirova · 17/03/2024 07:56

I'm trying to get over the embarrassment to seek medical help for this, but it's not something I've ever heard of anyone else happening and it didn't happen to me after the first two times I gave birth!

I gave birth to my DD3 in December - she was premature and I had a very, very fast and slightly traumatic labour. She is doing amazingly now (although she doesn't seem to need to sleep, like, ever) and I am okay too. But ever since the birth I've had a problem passing urine. It's like I just don't feel any urge and I only feel I need to go when I have a really full bladder. I do feel uncomfortable at that point and sometimes it is painful.

Then, even when I get to that point, it's really hard to wee. I end up sitting for 20 mins trying to wee and when I do it's just like a trickle, not a proper flow.

I don't know why but I'm too ashamed to tell anyone in real life. I can't get the courage up! I had quite bad 'baby blues' after DD's birth and although I don't feel it was ever really depression, I've lost confidence a bit. I know I need to go to the doctor, but I'm just so embarrassed and it feels like it must be somehow my fault...

OP posts:
HappierTimesAhead · 10/04/2024 12:05

Kirova · 10/04/2024 12:00

Thanks! Yeah, the consultant told me that improvement may be gradual over 3-4 months, although any residual effects after that time are likely to not be reversible. Fingers crossed for lots of gradual improvement! I'm really trying to follow all the steps and engage with everything as best I can, including physio (which has helped with my back and leg pain loads).

The leaking is a bit grim because it kind of happens without me feeling the urge so I can't control it. I'm kind of worried that it will happen during the bladder function testing and they'll be disgusted - I know I shouldn't and no way would I judge someone else who had this issue, but I feel ashamed that I can't control my own bowel movements!

Bless you, please remember that they are professionals and this is their job. They will have seen it all and you have nothing to feel ashamed of. I have worked in a profession where I supported people who do not have control over their bodily functions and I have zero judgement- it's part of life for a lot more people than we realise. 💐

Cornettoninja · 10/04/2024 14:34

Hope you’re reading this having had your test.

there are products that can temporarily help you with leakage, so you could attend an appt or short outing without having to worry, you need to talk it through with your continence nurse first though because I’ve no idea if a ‘plug’ would be damaging to the rest of your recovery.

Original poster
Kirova · 10/04/2024 17:33

Cornettoninja · 10/04/2024 14:34

Hope you’re reading this having had your test.

there are products that can temporarily help you with leakage, so you could attend an appt or short outing without having to worry, you need to talk it through with your continence nurse first though because I’ve no idea if a ‘plug’ would be damaging to the rest of your recovery.

Edited

I'm back and I got through it; it was a bit of an ordeal though! The bladder function tests were a bit uncomfortable and I had a big Movicol-related accident halfway through. Although they were really understanding about it I felt so embarrassed! I have follow up on the tests next week and more physio booked in, but they've advised against using a 'plug' for now because the Movicol needs to do its stuff before anything else can happen. Apparently I'm still 'impacted' despite all the leaking, so if it's not cleared by the end of the week I'll need to have an enema 😳

OP posts:

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justasking111 · 10/04/2024 17:37

Personally I'd rather have an enema. It works faster. It's just the idea of it that worried me before I had one

SuncreamAndIceCream · 10/04/2024 17:37

Glad you're being looked after OP.

And don't worry about the accident during the appt, easy for me to say I know. They will have been more concerned about you than anything else. They will have seen it all, and it won't have fazed them.

Best of luck with the Movicol! Hope you get 'cleared out' soon. It must be very annoying to deal with.

pimplebum · 10/04/2024 18:01

Why do you blame yourself- that's weird ?
You are a grown up with a significant problem , surely all the probing and lack of dignity in labour have helped you be less embarrassed , come on get yourself down the doctors

cordi · 10/04/2024 18:47

pimplebum · 10/04/2024 18:01

Why do you blame yourself- that's weird ?
You are a grown up with a significant problem , surely all the probing and lack of dignity in labour have helped you be less embarrassed , come on get yourself down the doctors

Great advice. This brilliantly brave OP is lucky to have your rapid and erudite response on her thread that she started 3 weeks ago...

Original poster
Kirova · 10/04/2024 19:26

I don't feel particularly brave... I feel a bit like a 5-year-old who wants someone to come along and fix their problem! I know it will get better. At the end of the day, even if things don't improve much, I'll learn to manage it. At the end of the day it is an injury and it can happen to anyone - and it's not going to affect my ability to work or parent or have a full and enjoyable life. But I'm definitely in the stage of learning (and not really managing!) right at the moment.

I'm exceedingly glad that DH is home for a long stretch now and is able to do things with my older two while they're on their Easter break. They'd be having a very boring one if it were all down to me!

I have a follow up appointment to discuss the bladder function tests, but they were quite upfront about the situation. My nerves still aren't really communicating properly, so my bladder isn't getting the signals to contract and empty. I managed to empty a little bit, but the 'flow' is weak and there's a lot left in there! Honestly, though, the self-catheterisation is so easy and you can do it practically anywhere. Now that I have a tool, I don't actually feel too stressed about it.

The constipation /lack of sensation is definitely the worse thing right now. It's just hard to manage it AT ALL and I'm not very comfortable. Plus the numb saddle area feeling is so odd and I still haven't really got used to it.

But overall... There are much worse things. I think I'll be okay and I'll manage, whatever happens. Although I wish the movicol would just do its work and quickly!

OP posts:
SallyWD · 10/04/2024 19:38

I had this and I had a prolapse. My womb was sitting on my bladder so it wasn't emptying properly.
I'm not saying you have the same as there are many different possible causes. Sometimes the nerves and muscles get damaged and you might not feel the urge to go. Definitely see the doctor. It needs investigating.

SallyWD · 10/04/2024 19:40

Sorry just seen your updates! Wishing you all the best

peloton2024 · 10/04/2024 19:46

It can definitely take a while, when I had cauda equina they said up to a year for everything to settle and to see how nerves would repair etc

Original poster
Kirova · 10/04/2024 23:27

peloton2024 · 10/04/2024 19:46

It can definitely take a while, when I had cauda equina they said up to a year for everything to settle and to see how nerves would repair etc

Oh, that's encouraging! It's definitely good to feel like things can keep improving. And like I said before, my sciatica is already SO much better.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kirova · 10/04/2024 23:28

SallyWD · 10/04/2024 19:40

Sorry just seen your updates! Wishing you all the best

No worries! I hope things have improved for you too.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kirova · 10/04/2024 23:30

justasking111 · 10/04/2024 17:37

Personally I'd rather have an enema. It works faster. It's just the idea of it that worried me before I had one

I have to say, I'm coming round to your point of view on this. It just sounds so horrible (having never had one before!).

OP posts:
ellyo · 10/04/2024 23:56

I had something similar to this - for several weeks after birth I couldn't empty my bladder sitting down, I'd have to stand over the toilet and wait for ages, and similarly I never noticed when it filled up slightly but then all of a sudden it'd be urgent and I'd have to go and stand over the loo to make it happen. It all sorted itself out eventually, but good on you for seeking help - definitely the right thing to do.

Original poster
Kirova · 14/04/2024 14:51

Just wanted to say again, thanks for all the support and virtual hand-holds. I have really appreciated it a lot!

OP posts:
Cheeesus · 14/04/2024 14:56

How are you doing, OP?

Original poster
Kirova · 14/04/2024 15:06

Not too bad, thank you! Same issues kind of persisting but I'm getting more used to managing it. I've lost my confidence a bit about going out and about (specifically because of the bowel leaking issues) and I think I need to push myself a bit so that it doesn't become a problem going forward. So I'm going to challenge myself a bit in the coming week!

OP posts:
Original poster
Kirova · 30/04/2024 20:44

Hello! Sorry if I'm being boring here, but I just wanted to say thanks again for all the advice and support here. Not only did it make a real difference to my state of mind, it also helped me physically, because I'm not sure I would have sought medical help so promptly otherwise.

I'm doing better - managing to get out and do more things with all three kids, managing to socialise a bit more. Not much change yet with the bladder and bowel issues, but it is early days and I am learning to manage it better.

I'm going into work for one of my keep in touch days tomorrow, so that's going to be another challenge. I'm feeling quite nervous, but fingers crossed it will be okay!

OP posts:
Muchtoomuchtodo · 30/04/2024 20:49

@Kirova you sound like some kind of superwoman! Well done on everything that you’re doing.

I hope that with time your nerves continue to recover, in the meantime you should be very proud of the way that you've coped with this. Having 3 kids is challenging enough at the best of times!

nozbottheblue · 30/04/2024 20:52

Hi OP! Good to hear from you, I’ve been wondering how you are getting on.
It can’t be easy but you’re doing well getting out and about.
Hope your work colleagues will be supportive- make sure your manager knows the issues you are having to cope with and what help/ accommodation your will need to work around them. ☕

justasking111 · 30/04/2024 21:14

Glad you're gaining a little confidence. Baby steps 💐

caringcarer · 30/04/2024 21:53

My sister had this after childbirth. Her bladder paralyzed by trauma. She was on a catheter with a colle tion bag strapped to her leg for about 3 months. After she saw a specialist. Most times it returns to normal.bitbdje was an unlucky one and ever since she has to self catheterise several times a day. She had to have a little OP to stretch the hole to enable her to self catheter. The specialist told her it only affects less than 1/100 women who have this issue. She just gets on with her life she hasn't let it rob her of all the usual stuff she'd be doing. You do need to see your GP quickly because they will likely send you to a specialist and you know about the queues and wait times.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 30/04/2024 22:10

@caringcarer please read the thread. Op has had surgery since her initial post.

SuncreamAndIceCream · 01/05/2024 06:26

Best of luck with the KIT day tomorrow, hope it goes well. Thanks for the update, I'm sure I'm not alone in wondering how you are. I think you're doing a brilliant job coping with it all.