Has anyone ever heard of such a problem post-birth? (TMI and embarrassing warning!)

[Kirova]

I'm trying to get over the embarrassment to seek medical help for this, but it's not something I've ever heard of anyone else happening and it didn't happen to me after the first two times I gave birth!

I gave birth to my DD3 in December - she was premature and I had a very, very fast and slightly traumatic labour. She is doing amazingly now (although she doesn't seem to need to sleep, like, ever) and I am okay too. But ever since the birth I've had a problem passing urine. It's like I just don't feel any urge and I only feel I need to go when I have a really full bladder. I do feel uncomfortable at that point and sometimes it is painful.

Then, even when I get to that point, it's really hard to wee. I end up sitting for 20 mins trying to wee and when I do it's just like a trickle, not a proper flow.

I don't know why but I'm too ashamed to tell anyone in real life. I can't get the courage up! I had quite bad 'baby blues' after DD's birth and although I don't feel it was ever really depression, I've lost confidence a bit. I know I need to go to the doctor, but I'm just so embarrassed and it feels like it must be somehow my fault...

It’s not ideal but you absolutely could take a clingy baby with you, all she wants is you and doesn’t require the same entertaining the older ones will. As long as you have her pram I’d have thought it would work.

You’re not ‘palming’ off your other dc btw, you’ll be asking for help, presumably from friends, because medical problems don’t crop up at nice convenient times but you have to deal with it before it becomes an all guns blazing emergency.

would you ring 111 as a compromise and take their advice?

I had this just after my daughter was born.
I'd get to the end of the day and realise I hadn't been for a wee once!
I went to the doctors about it and they didn't really give any advice except that I needed to make sure I go to the loo even if I felt I didn't need to.
It got better itself within a few months and I was back to normal.

Please don’t be embarrassed! A lot of us have had the same experience (with a variety of causes), in my case my DS shot out like he was on a water slide, whilst I had an epidural and catheter inserted.

Mine resolved with time and targeted pelvic exercises (under NHS guidance after being referred to urology) and was attributed to a catheter injury coupled with DS’s spectacular entrance, but I’ve had friends who’ve needed surgery for a range of prolapses both birth related and otherwise.

Unfortunately I am now an old fart of 51 and urine retention strikes again, with a good side of Chronic Kidney Disease, although this time it’s menopause, illness and medication related. I’m ok once I’ve got the flow started, but that can take a few minutes.

If you cannot empty your bladder now, that is an emergency, so please get medical help as soon as you can today.

My friend (who lives really close by) has offered to look after the older two for the day - DDs are friends with her DC so it's like a semi playdate!

I'm in two minds about whether hospital is necessary (I'm worried they might be cross and tell me I need to try harder!) but I'm also a bit worried and maybe it's for the best. My bladder is kind of sticking out - which doesn't seem totally healthy!

Of course you are not doing anything wrong. The functions required to eliminate waste ( urine or faeces) are complicated and there is plenty that can go wrong.

This is a medical problem and you need to seek medical help.

The hospital won’t be cross. You just need to get over this mental hurdle that because you feel otherwise ‘ok’ you are ok. you’ve got a mechanical issue. The point this starts making you feel traditionally unwell is the point when it’s going to be really difficult to sort out short notice support if you’re in a fit state to do that at all.

I must say OP I find your attitude that you will be told to try harder or accused of wasting time, or embarrassed about this problem as concerning as the problem itself. I suggest you seek some sort of help to address that thinking pattern. It’s not going to help you in life and could cause you real problems.

Really @Kirova, you need to go to A&E for urinary retention. It may be pregnancy/labour/birth induced, which can be sorted, but it could also be caused by a spinal issue called Cauda Equina. This is a medical emergency.

If someone has offered to take the older 2 today go to the hospital. Let us know how it goes.

Sounds like a prolapse OP and totally common (but distressing) I had one and a rear one too (joy). Basically it means your bladder is bulging into your vagina (it's effectively a hernia) it causes a kink in your urethra so creates the effect of trying to pee round a U bend which describes your situation well.

Some GPs may recommend pelvic floor exercises but it's worth asking for a referral to pelvic floor physiotherapist and also to a urologist. I had surgery to fix it when DD was 18 months. Some people live with it so long they have surgery to fix, it straightens the urethra then they get incontinence issues and have to go back and have a little ribbon type thing inserted to recreate the urethral U bend! So definitely read up on the problem and insist on being seen and taken seriously.

In the meantime as prolapse is a likely cause, you should look at this by Elaine Miller who is a professional womens physio and famous for her pelvic floor education for which she took to stand up comedy to teach the people who weren't getting to get clinic... (You should also watch her youtube recordings, she's fantastic and cuts right through all the embarrassment).
https://www.gussetgrippers.co.uk/experience

Many, many people on here will have suffered damage in childbirth. I have a kink in my bladder now as a result of a c section. I'm 58 and have to lean to the side on the loo after I've emptied my main bladder. This tips the urine from the kink part out. I had bladder infections/ cystitis for years until a nurse advised ' leaning'. Your situation needs proper intervention . I absolutely understand your embarrassment. If I have an intimate problem I always ask the receptionist if I can see a female doctor. Please go and see someone Op.

Urine retention can be very dangerous and cause problems with your kidneys. There are lots of reasons for bladder dysfunction after labour so ask your GP to refer you to Urology for urodynamic tests.

Nothing to be embarrassed about, it happens to lots of women, but don't ignore it.

Just to update: I did call 111 as a previous poster suggested, but they told me to go to A&E. In fact, they wanted to send an ambulance, but it seemed a bit OTT to me!

I'm about to drop off the two older ones with my friend and will head to the hospital from there with Tiny Terror. The older two are so used to her having hospital appointments that I think they've just assumed that I'm taking her in for some reason and they're totally unphased.

I will try to update when I can! I am wondering if I should also mention that I've been very constipated recently, in case it is relevant, but it's probably fairly obvious anyway.

Good to hear you're going to be seen. Take drinks, snacks, blankets and a long charger! I had similar problems, and it was constipation caused by a rectocele pressing on my bladder nerves. It can be serious if you go into urinary retention. Good luck and I hope you get some relief x

After my third dc birth I seeem to have some sort of nerve damage which means I don't feel the urge to pee in the same way. It is similar to what it sounds like you are experiencing. The localised in the urethra area 'I need to pee' sensation isn't there. It is a less specific internal hmm my bladder is full feeling instead that notifies me. And, if I have been holding my pee for ages the flow is very slow. My totally self rationalised notion about this is that the sphincter has been holding tight so long it is harder for it to open fully.
I got into the habit of going to the loo even if I didn't feel like it, just if I knew I hadn't been for a few hours.
This happened to me 9 years ago now, the sensation isn't what it was before dc3, as far as I can remember, but I am much better at recognising the signals my body does/can send. And yes, still a slow trickle of I've been holding, flow totally fine otherwise.
I never spoke to a dr about it, probably should have. Don't be embarrassed, they've seen it all before.

Definitely tell them about the constipation and that it's new. Might be linked to the bladder issues.
Good luck.

I hadn't RTFT, sorry - I didn't have a catheter which sounds like it has contributed to your situation, which is more severe than what I experienced. I shared as I wanted to let you know you aren't alone to be affected in this way

@Kirova this happened to me.

It has to have been caused by the catheter. I felt the same, no need to go but when I was bursting and sat down it either wouldn’t come out or dribbled. One day I was trying to go and it was like something just unplugged and I was able to.

My money was on the lube they use to insert the catheter was blocking the hole.

I’m glad you’re going to be seen.

tell them everything, don’t minimise, this needs sorting out

I had the same problem although it only lasted a week or so after delivery, The midwife said it can be due to pressure on the nerves during delivery.

Definitely go see your GP for some help and support

Glad you have gone to the hospital OP and make sure you tell them about the constipation too. It sounds like something really isn't right and you've just been soldiering on (as mums often do) but it's really important that they know everything so they are able to treat you properly! Good luck :-)

glad you’ve gone to the hospital @Kirova. no doubt you’ll need to follow up with your GP so if they don’t offer ask for a copy of your discharge summary.

You’re definitely in the right place OP, hope they are able to help you but you’re 100% not time wasting.