Has anyone ever heard of such a problem post-birth? (TMI and embarrassing warning!)

[Kirova]

I'm trying to get over the embarrassment to seek medical help for this, but it's not something I've ever heard of anyone else happening and it didn't happen to me after the first two times I gave birth!

I gave birth to my DD3 in December - she was premature and I had a very, very fast and slightly traumatic labour. She is doing amazingly now (although she doesn't seem to need to sleep, like, ever) and I am okay too. But ever since the birth I've had a problem passing urine. It's like I just don't feel any urge and I only feel I need to go when I have a really full bladder. I do feel uncomfortable at that point and sometimes it is painful.

Then, even when I get to that point, it's really hard to wee. I end up sitting for 20 mins trying to wee and when I do it's just like a trickle, not a proper flow.

I don't know why but I'm too ashamed to tell anyone in real life. I can't get the courage up! I had quite bad 'baby blues' after DD's birth and although I don't feel it was ever really depression, I've lost confidence a bit. I know I need to go to the doctor, but I'm just so embarrassed and it feels like it must be somehow my fault...

I've just read the thread and what a day for you @Kirova It's such a lot to process but it is great that you are now getting the treatment you need. Take any support you can get over the next few weeks. Go easy on yourself and take it day by day.

Also, the encouragement to get seen by other posters has renewed my belief in mumsnet as a supportive community.

Only just read your thread op. I am so glad you listened to the advice and got seen. I hope you're OK. Is your sister able to come to help out?

Everyone has been so supportive and I massively appreciate it!

My sister was looking at flights and she reckons she could come tomorrow night or Tuesday, she needs to organise and check some things in the morning. (She coaches in a junior sport but they actually have off season right now, so the timing is quite good.)

I'm sure I'll be better in the morning. I feel a bit out of sorts tonight because I'm not totally sure how things are going to work out, but at least the older two have two more weeks of school, which makes it easier to keep some normality. I don't think I'm going to sleep because the catheter feels weird and the laxatives they gave me at the hospital are doing some quite uncomfortable things to my insides!

This is going to sound so weird. But basically you could have a too tight pelvic floor and the ‘trying to squeeze’ sounds similar.

Basically when you go the loo you actually ‘unsqueezed’. Which sounds odd because you have always done it but you can confuse yourself. Especially postpartum. Happened to me.

Basically the fix is diaphragmatic breathing. Breathe right down into your belly and make it balloon. As it does you might feel your pelvic floor opening. So basically practice wherever. But when you’re next on the loo don’t try to push wee. Just shut your eyes and keep focusing on deeply breathing to balloon the belly. If a trickle starts or feels like it will then you’re going in the right direction. Resolves quite quickly if it’s that.

@Gymnoob the OPs insight into her situation has moved on quite a bit since her first post..she now has a detailed diagnosis.

You need to get urgent help because if the urine just sits inside of you and you can't pass it you'll get a nasty urine infection. If you go to A&E they'll put a catheter in and drain it out. You might have trauma around the bladder.

hi @caringcarer - the OP has been to hospital, has a catheter in and a plan for surgery in the next few days.

No need to be embarrassed bladder and bowel issues are very common after birth! It will be a very run of mill appointment for your gp!

@Kirova its a weird one, I want to congratulate you for taking steps to get yourself sorted and sympathise with you that it’s basically thrown a hand grenade into your life! It’s all completely achievable, it won’t be particularly pleasant for any of you but it solidly fits into the category of short term pain, long term gain.

Your sister and DH will be back before you know it and ready to tag team in for you.

At the very least I hope you’re feeling more comfortable now (I’m hoping the laxatives have done what they need to 😬)

My sister is coming tomorrow morning and my surgery has been scheduled first thing on Wednesday morning! I have to go in today for some blood tests and an x-ray to see if I'm still constipated. The laxatives didn't seem to work much at all - they just made my stomach gurgle a lot!

I didn't get a lot of sleep but I'm feeling calmer today and very grateful to have help, and that everything is sort of falling into place more or less.

Ah I'm glad you're having the surgery. Rooting for you @Kirova

If you can get to a pharmacy (I’m presuming there will be one near-ish to where you go for your x-ray/bloods) ask for a glycerin suppository. It will work the opposite end to where the laxatives are working and might help ease things along.

Op don’t take medical advice from randoms on here. Please ask your doctor when you go in today if this is ok. If so they should be able to provide them for you.

In fairness, I think the randoms on Mumsnet have definitely given me better advice than I've been able to give myself! I will check though.

I've had my blood tests and I'm waiting for the x-ray now - DD is being very good once again! I think the laxatives have started working a little bit but (and this is a bit gross, sorry) they're making me kind of leak without feeling anything and I still feel like I'm actually really blocked up. But we'll see. It's horrible - I knew there was a reason I don't take laxatives!!

Mention the constipation, laxatives and leaking-without-feeling-it while you're in the hospital now. They may give you an enema to help things along- and it would make you feel a lot more comfortable.
It's all related to your compressed nerves which control poo as well as wee, they won't be surprised that you are having this problem.

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@Kirova just wanted to wish you the best for the op on Wednesday. 💐

I’m so glad you got seen so quickly yesterday and they took it so seriously. I had a third degree tear and felt triply incontinent for a while after the birth and one of the best health professionals I then saw was a women’s health physio. Please make sure you’re seen by one of them once you’re recovering. Gussie Grips is great too, as someone else has mentioned.

I think this thread is great testament to mumsnet. I feel so strongly no woman should feel shame or that it’s her fault for any post birth complications. I’m feeling a bit torn about the NHS - they’ve obviously pulled out all the stops since yesterday, but was nothing noticed at your 6 week check or when you were in after the birth or when your baby was poorly?

they're making me kind of leak without feeling anything

that’s the delightfully and accurately named ‘overflow’. Do bring it up when you get chance.

that other poster was right to caution you, although I have quite a lot of faith in pharmacists to ensure you’re not doing anything directly against medical advice. If you do get them prescribed, if you’re not on free prescriptions it’s significantly cheaper to just buy them yourself.

Any chance you could PM me the exercises ! @covidwoes?! I'm five years down the line from this and it's still not really resolved, I've been given some but clearly not worked!

To be fair on them, I didn't really mention much - I was pretty wrapped up in DD and I didn't really think anything going on with me needed to be mentioned! Plus, loads of the things, I thought it's just the way it is after birth...

You're right, they weren't surprised at all! They've given me a suppository and now I'm waiting for something to happen. The x-ray showed I was really blocked up, and apparently it's because the nerve signals are not firing off properly or something like that.

I also had a bunch of neurological testing. Apparently my left leg is a bit "weak" - which is kind of embarrassing that I didn't even notice it! And I have loss of sensation around my bum and the "saddle area", which I had realised. I do feel more understanding about why it is so urgent now (and they have explained it very well) but I'm nervous about how to tell my 4 and 5 year old that mummy's going into hospital and having an operation!

No blame on you at all - just feeling frustrated on your behalf that the 6 week check is as important for the mother as much as the baby but frequently the mother gets overlooked.

and yes, no one ever knows what ‘normal’ is.

really glad you’re getting it all sorted.

Op honestly that's not even remotely embarrassing for a medical professional and shouldn't be for you. I've had all sorts of prodding and poking of my rectum over time. Although a smear test is probably my least favourite even than that. I've also seen urology and women's health physio for similar issues you have. So so common.

Wishing you well for tomorrow @Kirova and hope your support crew’s travel plans have all come off.

will your dc3 be allowed to stay with you in hospital?

Been following this and just wanted to wish you luck with the op!

Well done for going and getting checked out - it's never nice but is always necessary! Amazing what us women think we have to just put up with isn't it!