Has anyone ever heard of such a problem post-birth? (TMI and embarrassing warning!)

[Kirova]

I'm trying to get over the embarrassment to seek medical help for this, but it's not something I've ever heard of anyone else happening and it didn't happen to me after the first two times I gave birth!

I gave birth to my DD3 in December - she was premature and I had a very, very fast and slightly traumatic labour. She is doing amazingly now (although she doesn't seem to need to sleep, like, ever) and I am okay too. But ever since the birth I've had a problem passing urine. It's like I just don't feel any urge and I only feel I need to go when I have a really full bladder. I do feel uncomfortable at that point and sometimes it is painful.

Then, even when I get to that point, it's really hard to wee. I end up sitting for 20 mins trying to wee and when I do it's just like a trickle, not a proper flow.

I don't know why but I'm too ashamed to tell anyone in real life. I can't get the courage up! I had quite bad 'baby blues' after DD's birth and although I don't feel it was ever really depression, I've lost confidence a bit. I know I need to go to the doctor, but I'm just so embarrassed and it feels like it must be somehow my fault...

I've ended up waiting in the hospital for ages because the suppository didn't seem to be working and they thought I would need an enema. Then it did work and quite spectacularly. I have to say, it's probably the first time I haven't been all constipated and bloated in about a month and I'd forgotten what it felt like!

Thank goodness I had made childcare arrangements! The closer it's getting to the surgery the more I'm worrying about all my planning not working out, not to mention all the "what if the surgery doesn't work/goes wrong" kind of thoughts...

Meant to say, I am sorry to hear you had a rough time with number 3 too and I hope everything is okay now! It's taken out of me more than the other 2 combined, I swear.

Ah bless you.

@YesThatsATurdOnTheRug your username made me laugh!

The key isn't so much the exact exercises, it's how to do the correct pelvic floor squeeze! You really do have to have the perfect technique. I'll have a search through my emails to see if I can find them though!

I also found mine improved after stopping breastfeeding, and bizarrely, getting the copper coil.

Had a wobble during the night. I'm not sleeping well and there's too much opportunity when I'm up with DD in the small hours to start worrying about all the things that could go wrong, what if it doesn't work, and so on. I feel like I must have done something wrong to end up like this!

You have many mumsnet ‘friends’ thinking of you. If I remember correctly, your sister should be with you soon. This is probably the worst time for you. Things will start to improve soon x

Best wishes for your surgery and a speedy recovery. It's only natural to have the "what ifs" especially when it's all happened so quickly for you

Thank you! Yes, my sister is arriving today - she should be here by lunchtime.

Goodness OP, you didn't do anything wrong -apart from allowing your ancestors to develop big brains and walk on two feet a few thousand generations ago - and thus suffering the difficulty in giving birth and recovering that thousands and thousands of us share. 💐💐💐 to all of us!

Ha, yes - curse those ancestors!

I cried for about half an hour straight when my sister arrived, which is a bit pathetic, but I'm out of sorts today. She made me ring the hospital because I've had a stomach upset all day and I keep soiling myself without feeling it. I think it's just from all the laxatives but it's a bit disconcerting. I'm sure that it's all fine though! I'm going to be so glad when it is all done and I am out the other end of it.

Oh your sister sounds great. Poor you OP. It sounds like such an ordeal - thank goodness it’s happening quickly so you can recover and get back to normal again!

I know its easy to say but try to relax now and let your sister take care of you.

Good luck for tomorrow x

Best of luck tomorrow @Kirova

Good luck for tomorrow @Kirova

I've had cauda equina so feel free to ask anything
Live alone so was by myself for the op and recovery. My op was long as it was so tight in there (5hrs) but I was home 21hrs after

Wishing you well for tomorrow and a speedy recovery🤞

Thank you for all the good wishes. I'm sure it will be okay, but I'm so looking forward to being out the other side. I'm incredibly grateful that my sister could come, it's been a total lifesaver.

@NC03 thank you for sharing and if you don't mind, I'd love to ask some questions! I'd never ever heard of Cauda Equina before. Mainly I'm wondering what the recovery was like? Were you quite limited in what you could do after the op or was it not too bad?

Also, if you don't mind me asking, how complete was your recovery after the op? From what I've been told it might not be 100% but I'm hoping for the best and I'm going to put all the effort in. As far as I understand it, people have different symptoms so I guess it might depend on that. They say that mine is "gradual onset" because I had bad sciatica during my pregnancy which never went away. Apart from the bladder issues, I had pain at the base of my spine and shooting down both legs (but especially the left), plus numb bottom and saddle area with weird sensations like burning and freezing trickling water at the same time. I know that sounds really weird! But a lot of it I just put down to Thurs pregnancy, being a bit older this time, body taking a hit and blah blah blah. You're brave to go through it living alone, it must have been tough without help in the house!

Thurs = third. I was not only pregnant on Thursdays, worse luck!

@Kirova yes of course
It was no bending, twisting or lifting for 6-8 weeks. No sitting for more than 30 mins so lying or standing was best
Walked almost immediately after I woke up as I needed the toilet and refused a bed pan
No pain relief needed
Don't be worried if you get random feelings, one night I had pins and needles in my arms!
Mine was L5/S1 with a huge disc herniation that had crushed everything around it. Was waiting on the op anyway but I had a weird feeling it was CE

I walked a lot and built it up, started in a shopping centre as it was flat with places to rest! I googled exercises to do like standing on one leg to help get my core back (I think I searched something like bad back core exercises)
Then I got a PT for 4 sessions who helped a lot and I also had a few sports massages focusing on my leg to loosen everything

Got back on a horse 8 weeks later and then carried on from there. By 16 weeks I was lifting weights again (carefully and not heavy) and back riding fairly normally
My leg pain went entirely - by the time of the op I had no feeling in it and was walking by dragging my leg

The neurosurgeon said I was wilful and likely to have a great recovery because I was so focused. The first question when I woke up was "when can I ride?"

Oh and I had sciatica for years before but this felt different and the pain built to a point I told a&e to cut my leg off, then I lost feeling
Probably sciatica on and off for 8 years or so

I have a small amount of residual numbness in my leg and foot but I can walk, ride, do spin classes, lift weights etc
The only things I avoid are high impact jumping type exercises. If it happened again tomorrow I would be "oh well" and have the op without any worry at all

I have a bowel condition which means that I often leak. If you need any practical tips feel free to PM me, what I haven't learned about incontinence in the last few years isn't worth knowing

Good luck OP so glad you sought medical help and didn’t just put up with it

Definitely see the doctor this doesn't sound healthy at all

I had exactly this a year ago I ended up have to have catheter for a month.
then learn to self catheterise.
dont be embarrassed at all. You have something blocking the urethra. It will be a prolapse/ fibroid something like that. You need an ultrasound in the first instance. I had to go private for my care as NHS let me down badly. Hopefully you’ll be looked after better.
but definitely don’t be shy and don’t delay too long because mine got to the stage where it was acute urinary retention and it was an emergency situation several times.
it’s really common for women to have these issues but I’ll say it again- don’t be shy and do take care of yourself. Good luck!

At least read the OPs updates, things have moved on a bit!